Jul 25, 2008
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opening credits villian is let out of jail GIRL is lonely heist/GOOD GUY is in his office, hears the call on Poloce Radio, chases crims GIRL is lonely (continued)/Heist getaway chase/bumps into girl, drops his buisness cards, chases crims heisters get away, GOOD GUY is sad & goes to restaurant VILLIAN makes plans GIRL wants to see GOOD GUY again GOOD GUY goes to restaurant, villians plans are broadcast GOOD GUY runs to his office. The GIRL is there. They talk about the door on the office... the GOOD GUY has to find out where the VILLIAN is hiding out, GIRL wants to help, but it is too dangerous Secretly the GIRL follows the GOOD GUY to the VILLIANS hide out GOOD GUY sneaks in and crawls up to the VILLIANS office. The VILLIAN escapes through a tunnel and GOOD GUY chases The GIRL is sneaking around outside trying to find a way in The VILLIAN suddenly pops out and suprises her, the GOOD GUY is in chase but bumps into her. The VILLIAN escapes The GIRL apologises and the GOOD GUY is sad/angry/tired. She asks when he last slept, he groans, they go get coffee They talk about stuff, you know romantic things, the door with his name on it and crime/villians. they become close They go back to his office. A crime occurs! GOOD GUY says he has to go, GIRL understands GOOD GUY runs out the door to catch them GIRL checks on the map where the crims are probably going, then she goes directly there chase scene-GOOD GUY,crims / GIRL gets to the hideout and goes in, over hears full VILLIANS plans, gets kidnapped GOOD GUY chases the thieves up to the main VILLIANS lair He tries to sneak in, he sees GIRL in trouble, fumbles and crashes in GIRL is dragged away, GOOD GUY is knocked out, temporarily GIRL overcomes VILLIAN and runs to GOOD GUY to see if he's OK, GOOD GUY wakes up, catches bad guy about to escape Police show up and arrest VILLIAN/conflicting stories to the police Wrap up on crime (on television NEWS broadcast, probably) Sunrise. GOOD GUY says that he has to get sleep now. FADE OUT Phone rings, it is GIRL, says she has surprise for him Meeting outside the office then they walk inside There is a new door on office, bearing both their names, they agree on a partnership. Hug/Ending __Notes: The door, they always talk about always having his name on it so he can be seperate from the world, or whatever, then at the end his name and her name are on it not underneath eachother next to eachother. Like equals now. But thats not really important, it needs more sadness, they need to be torn in the middle you know? Help out, any suggestions.
excellent, needs some bad regret and some really bad dirty secrets
I know that. But what are they? I dont know what to put in to make it... you know, big, sad what ever in the middle. I have no idea how to make these characters who just met, to fall out of love then back into love. So anyway what would you like to see happen in this script?
QUOTE I have no idea how to make these characters who just met, to fall out of love then back into love. Being a detective, the Good Guy finds out the Girl had some past experiences with the Villian. Insert any of the following or your own... Love interest; brings in the old movie line "It's all in the past *Good Guy's Name*, it's over...it's you I want" A relation and she defends him; a fight occurs between them, before letting the Good Guy get his man... Has fight over the Bad Guy getting away...i.e. she gets caught; inadvertently helps the Bad Guy get away. Told her not to come, to dangerous blah blah blah. Then kiss and make up after some tense and high emotive scenes. Or any other ones like I said...
I didn't understand most of that stuff you said, I am sorry.
You said you needed a way for the characters who have just met, to fall into love and then fall ut of love; before falling back in love again.
I suggested that to add; backstory and some character development as well as solve this problem you could give the Girl some past involvement with the Villian. Thus giving some background to the Girl character and also giving the Good Guy a reason to fall out of favour (have a *BLEEP* fight or whatever) with her. I also mentioned that the Girls past history with the Villian could be found out by the Good Guy because he is a detective... Some possible storylines of the Girl and the Villians past history could be... The Villain was a previous love interest of her's; brings in the old movie line "It's all in the past *Good Guy's Name*, it's over...it's you I want". While the Good Guy is annoyed that she never told him about her and the Villian, therefore having a wee fight and breaking up with her in rather dramatic fashion. The Villian is related to her and she defends him because he's her brother or whatever; a fight occurs between her and the Good Guy over doing the right thing, she decides to hand in her *brother* after thinking about the greater good. The Good Guy and the Girl have a fight over the Villian getting away...i.e. she gets caught by the Villian after turning up when the Good Guy told her not to. She ends up inadvertently helping the Villain get away. Some shots would be of the Good Guy saying "I told you not to come, it's too dangerous for you blah blah blah". He's down that he didn't catch the Villian and she's down because she helped him escape...Go their separate ways and then kiss and make up after some drama. A bit clearer now Gohst?
OK, so get this. They go to the restaurant or something do that romantic talk stuff go to his office talk about his door
Wait, the restaurant might come later. OK OK so here it is, first the GIRL rings GOOD GUYS office and tells him where he might catch the VILLIAN. He checks it out but screws up. GIRL is talking to her friends about this great guy and how he's going to catch the VILLIAN OK so its an ambush, like a trap. The VILLIAN doesn't know the GOOD GUY is coming but he figures someone will so he sets up guards and captures the GOOD GUY but he barely gets away Anyway the GIRL finds out the VILLIAN is still free and so she rings him to see if he is OK but he is pissed off, he thinks she set up the ambush No wait, he doesn't know who rang him before. So the GIRL goes to his office this time to tell him some secret information about the VILLIAN because he is her brother and he told her before he went to jail that he wants to steal the AMATHEST JEWLS or something. The pride of the town sort of thing, and hold them ransom. So anyway they go to a restaurant to talk some more and thats when they get to know eachother some more. But he might say something like "I am going to kill VILLIAN" and she is like "NO!" but he goes off anyway and she wants to come too, but he wont let her. Then she goes, foils the plan like usual (like it says up there) and then GOOD GUY realises she was the voice on the phone, she set up the ambush (so he thinks) she let him escape this time. She is helping the VILLIAN So thats it, they're out of love now. How do they get back together? Maybe she doesn't reveal the AMATHEST JEWLS thing yet, posts him a letter saying meet me at the restaurant I have info. Then they meet up he is angry but he cant leave because she has info... So then they team up from here you reckon? But they dont love eachother until later they just work together, unfriendly but side by side. Well, hows that? Not bad for a train of thought... Do you understand? What do you think?
Pretty good train of thought there. Maybe needs tidied up a little bit here and there but essentially it's all there. Glad some of my ideas could help you out mate...
I like the way you sort of incorporated all three of them...I sort of had them separately...but it was just me fleshing out my previous ideas to make them clearer to understand.
I hope mine was clear to understand. I was just writing it as I thought of it, thats why its choppy. I didn't want to fix it incase I left out something or ruined it in some way (paranoia) but I'm glad its good.
Any sugestions? In genreal, I mean or on what I wrote just now in specifics? Latest Entries
As Quinten Tarantino said "Its mine to ruin now"
Any way, what sort of extra scenes were you thinking of, to flesh it out?
I'm a wannabe director, so I've sort of mixed in both roles when planning out ideas...so yeah I suppose I am writing them to direct them also.
I suppose also that I wouldn't trust many other people to direct what I write? It's just that I believe myself to have a (well; overactive  ) very streamed imagination...i.e I know exactly how to make whats on the paper look good (well in my opinion), yet I don't think that a lot of other people can imagine what I see in my head even if I described it in a very detailed manner.
So therefore everything I write is pretty much wrote so that I can carry it out...although one of my friends; Russell Kyle, who directs/writes with me is pretty good at interpreting what I am attempting to show in a shot.
okay fair enough everyone has their own ways ...would you be writing to direct them
normally a screenwriter wouldn't put in any camera details
It's not for the script...
When devising how any of my ideas will plan out I make a separate "Screenplay" of exactly how each shot will look; as well as the working script. Just my methods. This was what I was refering to...it saves me writing out medium shot/long/pan/crab...each time. I just use m/s, c/s etc... QUOTE INT. Hallway (m/s) Camera moves down hallway focuses on Villian...etc... wouldn't put in camera movements in script ...use we move down hallway until we see the Villian or similar
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