Tips For Making New Friends - What do you do when you have no friends

WDSnav

Feb 8 2006, 12:57 PM

maybe im to young or omsehinthing, but everyone else in my school hangs around with their friends. Im always the one left out:( like when my p.e. teacher tells us to partner up, i can't get any partners and im always the one that has to join a group of 3's and have to take turns or osme crap like that. Im the one the no one likes, some of the kids at my school have a girlfriend but I can't even get ANY friends!This is really making me angry because I want a friend and I hate the fact that no one likes me and wants to kill me. I even have some kids that are mean to me and I have to sitch them out. The rest of you may have some friends, and your life is probably a lot more enojoyfal, maybe you can give me some tips and making friends! Im kinda tired of talking to fake cyber friends that don't even really know you, I need a real friend.

OpaQue

Feb 8 2006, 01:08 PM

WDS, I am a very very social person.. but trust me on this, Even though I have a very very large friend circle, I hardly can say anyone my REAL friend. There are hardly any who have ever helped me when I was in terrible situation. People are with you, only till you are there to give them something or entertain them. Once they feel that you are worth nothing or you cannot add up to their life with something extra, they simply ignore you.

Ofcourse, When I told you that no one helped me in my bad time, I do not want to say that "friends are people who you make a relation so that they help you in your bad time..". The meaning of friendship goes far more than that.

Firstly, be social. Never judge people by how they look or talk. I have realised one thing in life, its extremely difficult to be the REAL YOU to everyone. Please try to break that barrier. Be good to everyone. Remember, people will treat you the way you treat them. If there are people who don't treat you properly, stop being afraid and start ignoring them. I don't say, go and fight. Learn to ignore..

Also, take an active participation in School activities which is where many students tend to run away. The closer you get to your teachers and school staff, the more interesting you become. Real friends are like precious asset of life and they don't just come up. It takes a long time to find the real friend.. Just because someone is good to you for past 2 months, dosen't make him your real friend. Friends never expect favors from you.. or don't force you to do anything you like.

As for the GIRL FRIENDS thingy.. now this is complicated. You have to stop running behind girls or trying to make friends... Just be yourself and be mature.. If you become a cool person who talks with every other person in your group.. Girls will take interest in you. ;-)

Sorrow

Feb 8 2006, 01:15 PM

WDSnav don't be so cruel to yourself... I don't know how old are you, but believe me you don't wanna have a friend just to have friend or somebody who you can call a friend.
For my lifetime I maybe had 3 real friend, I know many people, we drink coffee sometime together but I can't tell that they are my friends...so don't try to find anybody for a friend, just to have them. I don't think that everybody hates you, especially that they wanna kill you, maybe you want to fit into a circle of friends where you don't belong. Believe me, everybody find a soulmate (friend), sooner or later but don't be so sad if you can't do that right now...
I can't give you any tips to find friends, except to be yourself and don't change your personality, for nobody... and head up, don't be so sad...

LocalSeer

Feb 8 2006, 01:54 PM

In school there always seems to be a social ladder, if you've never made any friends getting in without knowing communication can be real hard. I suggest starting low and working your way up. There must be other kids in your school who sit alone always, or don't talk much. Go up to them and start a conversation, you've already got something in common, you are always alone, make a friend and learn how to talk to your fellow students. Alot of these people are just like you, afriad or just not good in talking, but they can be quite interesting, I know quite a few I enjoy spending time with. Once you get some practice and enlist a few people as friends, attempt contact up a notch on the ladder, people that aren't known by everyone, but say a small group of friends, like 2 or 3 people playing basketball, ask them to join and just shoot hoops and stick around leaching. If you like them and they don't tell you to buzz off just keep sticking with em till pretty soon you'll be part of the gang. Don't forgot your old friends though just because you found some upper ladder friends. Just keep working your way up and learning from experience how to communicate.

kasm

Feb 9 2006, 05:29 AM

QUOTE(WDSnav @ Feb 8 2006, 11:57 PM)

1. Don't worry about your age or size. I was the youngest and the smallest in all my classes.

2. Be patients and look for long .

3. Be successful in your study. Be succeful in some sports which don't depend on team as running or jump or playing chess. Be skilful in a particular field as computer. Let teachers praise you. Solve the problems so others will look at you. Let others ask your help.

serenity

Feb 11 2006, 06:18 PM

woah.. yu have a serious problem there man.. have yu thought about joinin clubs or just approaching a group of people and chattin to them. Or do something that people will look up to yu and that can bring them in asking questions about yu wantin to get to know yu and everything. Don't feel bad about what is going on.. everyone has there own way of making friends.. yu just have to find out how to do this and til yu do that yu will just have to grin and bear it

trace-uk

Apr 5 2006, 09:01 PM

Some tips. I've always been able to make friends anywhere.

1) Expand your social circle, join a school club or a club outside of school. Try something you've never done before, be bold!

2) Smile and be Friendly. Try to be funny if you can. Perhaps the other people find you hard to approach? So you do the approaching. Talk to those next to you in class when you can.

3) If it is really bad, I mean you have a stigma attached to you a "bad rep" and everyone is avoiding you on purpose. Then just move, get the hell out of that school and start fresh and reinvent yourself. talk to your parents and be very clear. beleive me you're grade will improve when you're at ease in a school.

Take it from me. I've been the unpopular kid, the very popular kid, the class comedian, university stud, worker, business man. Your social circle is what YOU make it.

agentblade

Apr 26 2006, 07:58 AM

He doesn't have a serious problem serenity. This is a common problem that some people do face.

My advice would be to just be yourself. You want people to like you for who you really are, not the false front you put up in front of people. That can be tiring.

Also take the first step, go up to people and say hi to them. You'll never know they might invite you into their circle of friendship.

As for myself, I used to have little friends too when I was younger. How I coped with it was that I always have this friend which I cannot see. His name is Jesus Christ. Don't get me wrong here, I'm not preaching or forcing anyone to believe. But really, Jesus has been my friend ever since I was young. He is still a very close friend today.

anwiii

Apr 26 2006, 09:09 AM

QUOTE(agentblade @ Apr 26 2006, 02:58 AM)

well ya had me until you talked about someone who can only be read about in a book. dude, this guy needs real friends in real life.

i agree with ya though. he needs to be himself at all costs but at the same time, trying to improve his own self

hey bud, you're in a tough spot i see because the more you are ignored, the more biased you will become and you might just miss a friend that was already there right in front of ya so don't let that happen. be yourself. join some clubs or activities either in school or out of school. that makes it easier to meet people.
i PROMISE you that there are very cool people in this world that you will meet. like opa said, he has a big circle of friends but he doesn't really consider them friends. most of them probably always wanted something from him and not the other way around and people will take advantage. true friends are rare but what i am getting is that you are not just looking for true friends, but people who you like and what to do things with. i know it must be lonely, but hang in there. first thing is be secure with your own self and know who you are and be confident enough to be happy in life without others if others aren't coming your way just yet.

don't let this lead to depression or suicidal thoughts as i feel this may be the case here so if you really need a friend, send me a note. i know it's not the same as in person, but it's something. get a dog or a cat or some other type of animal to spend time with. they don't reject ya and my dog(who has recently passed) had been there for me MANY TIMES in my need when i felt alone.

i wish i could give better advice, but i don't know you or your habits or what you're interested in. as far as a girfriend bud, be patient there is a reason why divorce rates are so high. people think they need something they really don't and they are impatient. sometimes you have to sift through all the crap to get to the good and sometimes it takes a while. i know from experience. also, life changes alot when you're out of school. at least high school. so if you plan on going to college, you have more opportunities for you

also you stated you don't get picked for things. don't let others dictate. YOU dictate. try to choose where YOU want to be rather than have others do that for you. be more demanding of yourself and picky your own self because you know you deserve that. even if nothing comes about it at first, at least you are being strong enough to dictate your own life and choices while waiting for the good to come. self confidense goes a long way too. the more you seem self confident, the more people will look up to you....but again, just be yourself bud and don't live in regret.

anwiii

Apr 26 2006, 09:28 AM

QUOTE(WDSnav @ Feb 8 2006, 07:57 AM)

maybe im to young or omsehinthing, but everyone else in my school hangs around with their friends. Im always I need a real friend.

i went through a lot when i was a kid. i went through a HECK of a depression phase in my early 20's. suicidal and all that. one thing i never did though was settle. i dictated my own life and was willing to wait for my life to unfold. boy was it hard. i didn't fit in in many areas of life it seemed. i did have 3 good friends, but that even didn't help me much. the problem i relized was that i was not understanding of who i was and what i'm good at and what i needed to do to live a fullfilling life. you're young. you need to find that. i wasn't odd. i hung around the polular crowd AND the unpopular crowd. i understood the peer pressure and the hurt others can place on people that don't deserve it. me, i'm as shy as they come and spent a lot of my time alone because i was afraid to approach people. heck, i still am. but i consider myself to be a people person. weird being so shy, but i realized i was. i had to fight that shyness. i still am shy so fighting it hasn't helped me much. i am a people person because i know people. i can adjust my behavior to fit any situation. i do this to be accepted and i want acceptance because i want people to talk to me. it's called mirroring other peoples image. i want them to talk to me, not for me, but for THEM as i am a listening ear. being shy has advantages that others don't have. you are a better watcher. you are a better listener. you have a better read on people that others don't. be ok with it. it may be uncomfortable when you see others playing with others and you're sittin' by yourself, but use that to your advantage. take notice what your strong points are and use them. don't ignore them. be happy with who you are. at the same time work on learning more about yourself and pushing yourself in areas that need improving. it's good to be yourself but it's good to learn from your experiences and push yourself to be the best you can be.

i'm 38. i met quality friends in my life that were true friends. i also had a great family bud. let me tell you something. sometimes there are more important things. i left them all....everything i ever knew recently to pursue something that was more important. they will always be there when i return but even if i didn't have them, it wouldn't matter because i have something more important. live your life. your family and friends can't live it for you. everyone is born unique and different. everyone is born with a GIFT. find yours and follow it and very little else will matter. wish ya luck and if you ever need a friend....even just someone to listen, drop me a line. update us on what is going on in your life.

the comptuer sometimes can be a good thing too where when you don't have anyone offline to talk to, you can always find someone online to talk to and be there for ya.

Latest Entries

iGuest

May 23 2008, 02:20 AM

why do I feel so depresed
Tips For Making New Friends

I have gone with no friends 4 days and I am so depresed all ready my friends have adbandoned me and have no new friends but as soon as the bullies hear that thay aren't my friends I'm dead. Can some one help me?

-question by down town

iGuest

Oct 22 2007, 01:30 PM

You can make a friend my being nice and being yourselves also you can smile when you walk bt people. A smile can warm up someones day

-secertgirl

DaRealChrono

May 2 2006, 05:28 PM

I know exactly what you mean WDSnav, It's hard making friends, harder then some people think. For instance, I just transferred schools like a year ago, and when I first got there I was lonely for a long time. I was just like you actualley, would be the last person picked in P.E. activities and such. In my opinion, one of two things will happen, someone will talk to you and they will become a real friend or a friend, or two you'll will finally start talking. It's a lot easier with option #2. Just listen to other people and what they are saying and when they say something interesting to you just start talking, after that they will either talk to you everyday or just not say anything else to you, but it could go either way.

Also, don't be discouraged or afraid by people picking on you, OpaQue said ignore them, which is a good thing to do, but it won't always be so easy. It's kind hard growing up in pretty much what they call "the ghetto" especially as a white kid (no racial offense, but it's true) so I had to fend for myself and deal with them in the wrong way. The one thing that is bad to do is tell on them because it will lead to worse things, it could be prevented at school but not on the streets. Ignore them until they are unignorable, and just mind your own and you should be alright with that, eventually they'll get tired of picking on you and move on to the next "loser kid." Hopefully.

As with the girls, it's alot more complicated than making friends, but making friends is where it starts. Some girls may act as if they don't like you, but 75% of them really do when for instance they walk by you in the hall and say "Eww" or something and walk off laughing. Just talk to them just like thier a friend, and it'll all come out the woodworks, the best thing is to not be shy, but if you can't help it, just try to stay confident.

All in all, just hang in there, it'll all work out for you. I've always been told that the people who aren't the most popular stay out of trouble, and live a more comfortable life.

Munde

Apr 30 2006, 04:51 AM

Listen, getting friends can be really hard, but it will come. I don’t know how old you are or what kind of person you are, but I’ll give you a couple of advices.

Don’t expect people to come to you.
If you want to hang out with somebody, just go talk to them. If you don’t have anything to say to make contact, then simply ask if you can sit with them. Don’t be afraid that they’ll reject you, cause even if they do, you didn’t lose anything.

Don’t be afraid of doing things that are unlike you!
If you feel that you are kind of stuck in a role and afraid of breaking out of it, you missed the point. We are who we make usself to be (at least to some extend).
Break out of old habits without looking back. This is really hard, until you realize, that nobody find it weirder than yourself. I had a friend once, who had trouble finding friends. All the sudden she broke out of all her old patterns and changed completely. I admit that we thought it was so fake in the beginning, but then we realized that she was more herself, more comfortable like that and we all accepted her for being like that.

Accept the friendships you find.
You can’t always chose who want to be friends with you. Sometimes you will find that somebody you thought was really dumb or weird is really nice and funny. Accept everyone’s friendship, and even if it is not what you are looking for, it is nice to have. You don’t find a true friend with the flick of a wand. It takes time to get to know somebody.

//Munde

tuddy

Apr 27 2006, 06:17 AM

The very first part is sooo interesting, 'I may be youbg or something...', just how young are?, are we talking 6-10,10-15, or 15+ cause it all depends what age group you may be dealing with.

Young Adults tend to have a'Judge book by cover' kind of attitude towards alot of different people, to have a 'im better & cool' look on there name.

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