Suicide

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Read Latest Entries..: (Post #33) by AbdurahmanL on Jun 24 2008, 12:07 AM. (Line Breaks Removed)
Hmm Today my sociology professor talked about suicide in society and showed that statistically, protestants, men, unmarried people, wealthy people, and people with no family ties are much more likely to commit suicide than women, catholics, poor people, people with strong family ties, and married people. And he showed its not just some random events, its a trend. He showed that in different countr... read more.
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Suicide

JDameron91
Hi everyone. smile.gif

I was just thinking about suicide, no, not commiting it. Because my friend is always talking about killing himself. I was just curious to see if any of you had any ideas of what I can/should say to him to help him, without making it worse. He has been speaking of it more and more lately and I'm just a little bit worried. sad.gif

Thank you all for you help. biggrin.gif

Reply

truefusion
You're gonna have to be more informative if you want our help. What you provided is far too general to even know where to begin. What has happened in his life that he should be considering death? He must feel there's no meaning in his life anymore to be considering such a thing. But still, why...? Why does he think/believe that?

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BuffaloHELP
I think it's normal to think about suicide--it's a natural course in part of growing up, asking oneself "what does it all mean?" Whether the scientists attributes these thinkings as the biochemistry of the brain firing up electrodes causing it to trigger certain hormonal imbalance or a learned condition which derived from witnessing a social behavior, one thing is clear in that the difference between sane and insane is in the execution.

Perhaps your friend is unintentionally seeking an attention of some sort. Affection received from self-pity can be rewarding. And it can be addictive, too. I hava a friend who never has a good thing to say about her life. She likes it when she receives comments like, awww, I'm so sorry to hear that. It is her way of socializing with people around her. I guess this is the only way she knows how to be social or break the ice.

Sometimes an action is greater than words. Just being there for that person can make the difference. Carefully monitoring your friend's behavior and make him known that his friendship means a lot to you. Men tend to be more sociable through activites unlike our counter parts--women. I guess we still possess a primitive pack behavior. Confronting head on is less effective than blurting out during a happy hour at a local pub or whatever. Let's face it, we men do not talk about our feelings like Dr. Phil.

One thing I'd like to post is that you cannot be the savior to this person. One person does not possess the power to fix everything. Like the winter snow covers the fagile seedling, your friend will face many other crushing defeats in his life time. But when the spring comes and snow melts away, this seedling can survive if the soil is accomodating. Your friend must be able to find his own balance and foundation that defines him. You can help him to find that ground or supply the means of finding one. But you can't watch over him 24/7. Otherwise you too can grow weary and maybe forced to give up.

 

 

 


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JDameron91
@truefusion: Sorry, his girlfriend is always mad at him he says, and she keeps threatining to dump him. His mom and dad split up, and his brother went to Iraq. That's some of the stuff he tells me a lot.

@buffaloHELP: Thanks for that post man, it was really helpful. He doesn't seem to be seeking attention, it just seems like he's deppressed more than anything, it's probably part of his "growing up" from turning 18/19 to 20. You know?

Thank you both for you help so far. smile.gif

Reply

truefusion
It seems the best thing to do is to just be there with and for him, whenever possible. Everyone may leave him, but he may acknowledge that you're here to stay. Be sad when he's sad, and be happy when he's happy. Sure, it's humanly impossible to be always faithful, but he may acknowledge your efforts in trying to be there for him. There's not much i can say, i've never had a friend that made it known to me that they were considering suicide.

Reply

FolkRockFan
I've never been in your situation, so I have no real advice for you. I just wanted to say, though, that it sounds like you really care about your friend. Good for you. I hope and pray that you keep caring and that your friend makes it through everything that's going on right now.

Reply

Marina
even if he just say it and don't really mean it.or even if he may seek for a little attention.I think you should take any chance.I think you need to help him and maybe talk to someone about it.you never know if he's going to do it for real or not.so If I were you I wouldn't take any chance.

Reply

MIGUE2k7
Suicide for me is the worst thing a human can do. It is just pointless, is giving up but then you have no chance to try anything again. I just cant understand, what makes a person decide to suicide? no one knows what comes after death, there may be a worse thing that what that person is going trough but many people still do it. Im sure i will never think about commiting suicide, because i fear death ohmy.gif

You should tell to your friend, that he can do anything else on his life rather than suicide, if he is planning to. Whatever problem he may be having now, will be resolved by itself with the time, this may be just a hard moment, but not a impossible one smile.gif
Well, if you make him think about how much would affect his death to his family and friends, he will change his mind. But first make sure that what you think is right, he may not even want to suicide tongue.gif

Reply

JDameron91
Good points, guys. smile.gif
I talked to him, he seems to have calmed down a bit, but any more ideas are welcome and I will use your guy's advice if he starts to do this again. smile.gif

Reply

jlhaslip
Suicide is a long term solution to a short term problem. Usually.

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Latest Entries

AbdurahmanL
Hmm Today my sociology professor talked about suicide in society and showed that statistically, protestants, men, unmarried people, wealthy people, and people with no family ties are much more likely to commit suicide than women, catholics, poor people, people with strong family ties, and married people. And he showed its not just some random events, its a trend. He showed that in different countries, men are 2 to 40 times more likely to commit suicide than women. Also, black people commit suicide much less than white people. These are the facts. It was pretty interesting though. It seems like lonely people kill themselves more than people with lots of family etc. So what do you think about it?

Reply

Nico Robin
I do not condone suicide at all. I think it is a way of being a coward and giving up on your life's problems. I think, the people that overcome life's hardships and make something of themselves can be considered herioc. Its our actions that define us, and if suicide is the choice of action one takes, then they are deemed a coward. Sorry if that sounds too harsh.

Reply

heavensounds
Well, I want to clear something up at the very beginning: Suicide is for selfish people who are not strong enough to deal with life. My advice to anyone thinking about that stupid thing that doesn't change anything: "Your life is no worse or better than anyone else's. There will always be someone who is worse off. Find other ways to deal with life. If suicide is your only option, think about the people who you will hurt and who will miss you. If you do not think there are those who will miss you, look again. Do you hate selfish people who only think about themselves. That is what suicide is, only thinking about your own problems. Life should be treasured. Don't be ready to waste it."

So yes, it is completely self-centered, pridefully selfish. From a religous point of view, we owe an allegence to God who thought of us first, loved us first and put us on this earth for a very good reason. Rather than die in self pity, why not pray and ask God the reason for our being. Judas was so proud that he thought himself above repentence; unworthy of forgiveness and chose to commmit suicide. Jesus said it would have been better he were never born. If a son came asking for forgiveness with sincere heart, what parent wouldn’t forgive him. How sad for the parent of a son who didn’t trust in his father or mother’s forgiveness and ultimately waste his life by commiting suicide.

Reply

audiovia
killing yourself will just loop you back to where it all start. i've read that from some book.

Reply

rayzoredge
I've actually considered suicide.

I didn't do it for attention because I hated attention. I don't usually talk about things because I don't like burdening people with my problems that only I can make a difference in. I started thinking about suicide because I was super-hard on myself. And it took being in the army as an armorer with an M9 Beretta and a full magazine of 9mm rounds sitting on my desk to realize that I was going too far on being harsh on myself.

People think of suicide for different reasons. I, almost being stereotypically Asian, was ashamed of myself and of my failures and mistakes. I was always striving for excellence, for perfection. It took me a while, but I finally had the self-realization that suicide was a stupid answer and a coward's way out of the problems that were bothering me.

A lot of people just feel like they don't have anything to live for because of the events happening around them. There's no real way to really help anyone but to help them help themselves. Once you convince that person that things happen, it's normal to feel the way he or she feels, and that the future can bring in possible relief but suicide will prevent you from ever knowing, I think that one may recuperate and continue to live life.

There's always a way around things. Soldiers come back from Iraq. Those that don't gave their lives for something noble, and your friend should rest assured that he or she can be proud of that. Relationships come and go. It sucks, but everyone finds someone eventually. Patience is a virtue most overlooked. (Heck, even I'm tired of waiting, but I'll wait even longer if it turns out to be worth the wait.) There are literally TONS of people to meet in one's lifetime as there are fish in the sea. I hate using cliche answers, and everyone hates them, but it's usually the way to make an analogous answer that will hopefully help someone realize the bigger picture, that life is worth living.

The best thing that you can do, though, is LISTEN. I'm sure you knew that by now, though. Be an outlet for him or her to vent. "Understand" what he or she is going through and sympathize.

I hope your friend comes out of the rut.

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