Here's a bit of a tricky situation.
I was at school one day, alone in the classroom when this girl comes up to me and starts talking to me. I wasn't on very familiar grounds with the girl - I didn't really even know her name, but she started talking to me and I wasn't going to be mean and tell her to leave me alone. So, as I kept working, I half listened to her as I asked her random questions like "So what movies do you like", "Do you have any pets" and "What do you like do to for fun" - not really thinking much of what I was saying, or what she was saying for that matter. And by the way, I definitely was not giving out any 'body signals' to her.

Anyway, time ticked on and luckily, the bell the end lunch went off. I was glad that that was over. She wasn't really the kind of girl I liked to talk to - she was a year younger than me, in my opinion she was unnatractive and she constantly looked like she was going to cry if I said one bad thing. Anyway, I said "Well I'd better go" and before I knew it she had blurted out "Do you want to go to the movies with me on the weekend?".

This was bad - very bad. I didn't know what to say. If I said no, then I feared she might cry - if I said yes, then I'd be leading her on. I sort of tried to say nothing as she paused, gave me her number and told me to give her a ring. I was in shock - how the hell did that happen? I didn't know her, I hardly even showed signs of listening to her and I did not hint towards going out with her. As she left, she told me to give her a ring.

What I am I to do? If I ring her and tell her that I will go out with her, then I'll be leading her on, which I definitely do not want to do. If I don't ring her, then chances are she'll get depressed that I didn't ring and ask me about it and ask if I'm doing anything next weekend. If I do ring and tell her I don't want to do anything, then she'll most likely start crying and ask me why - which I don't want to do, because then I'd have to tell her I'm not interested in her and I find her unnatractive.

What should I do to let her down without making me seem like a complete *BLEEP* or making her cry and ask "Why???".

Thanks for any input guys!

 

 

 

Reply

Depends, do you think you could even not be friends with her?, I mean any gurl isn't going to like rejection, but they will all get it once in there life, same as guys.

Why is it you ahve to tell her you find her unattractive?, Just say, listen, i don't like you, your just not my type of girl, and i think you can friend a guy more suited to you.

If you put some good points in, like, you are a smart girl, and have a nice smile, but i just think we could never work. Whatever happens then, is upto her, she came accept to move on, and find a new guy that may like her, or she can go sook, cause of some guy she meet in her teens and probably never would have stayed with until marriage anyway.

I guess its what you call a white lie, your not lieing, just not telling the whole truth, you just don't tell her the bad points about her, but make it seem she is not right for you.

Reply

Hm..yeah i know that situation - it is very tricky and FIRST OF ALL you must know that you didn't make her do that-you are attractive to her-this is not your fault (it is good acctualy;) and now the only thing you should think about is how to let her know that you are not interested in her!

You should make it clear to her that you two can be friends but thats all...BE HONEST and just say it as soon as possible - it is really interesting how much honesty does with girls - they really like it and think of you as a fair, honest!

I suggest you to call her and tell her that you are sorry that you don't feel the same way as her and you thaught it would be the right thing to tell her that! She'll understand for sure, but there is a chance that shell like you even more because you reacted in such a good way...

Well this is the part that makes our lil' lives interesting

Good luck

 

 

 

Reply

Maybe you should tell her in a nice firm voice that she isn't your type. You could also try being friends with her and treat her a little more "specially".

Quote :
She'll understand for sure, but there is a chance that shell like you even more because you reacted in such a good way...

lol..


good luck

Reply

One of the hardest situations.

Talk to her in a very friendly way and give her hints that you only like her as a friend. If she doesn't understand or doesn't want to understand start telling her stories about the girls you like. Repeat many times that she's like a sister to you or that she's like your best friend. That way she'll understand.

Reply

My friend got me involved in crazy things a few months ago and they're still going on. Basically, she saw me talking to this guy and said we'd look cute together. In front of him. He got the idea to ask me out from that, but he has this crazy inferiority complex as well as being pretty ADD about things. Not my type. I just told him why I didn't like him, and although he's still trailing me, I don't let it get to me. However, my friend got a beating @_@

Reply

Thanks guys - some good advice given. I'll have to try it out!

Reply

First of all take into consideration you are not in control of her feelings or her reactions. You can be as gentle as possible but she may still be hurt. its important for you to make it clear that you are not interested in her romantically. Bake it clear that you do not think you will ever be interested in her. It would help to let her know that you don't know her that well so you would rather just be friends. Do not give her too much special treatment because even if you are kind to her she might think that maybe you are growing closer and it might go that way.

Don't close the door because I will tell you this. Even if you are not attracted innitially to someone you can sometimes develop feelings later. It has happened to me before. There is nothing wrong with you never having feelings for her but sometimes as you learn to enjoy the person that is inside you will find the outsides attractive too.

Reply

Well.. i like i say you have to roll with the punches..

why not give her a try she may not seem as unattractive and boring to you if you get to know her... mayb she kept talkin to you because she was nervous i mean talkin to someone in the older year is hard and would take alot of confidence lol

Reply

Personally, if I was in the situation you are in, I would have to ask myself one of two questions:

1. Do I honestly care what she thinks about me and would I care if I made her depressed?

or

2. Is she a cool enough person that I would want to hang out with her later on a strictly friend basis?

If the answer to question number one was no then I would simply tell her I am not interested in dating her or hanging out with her!If the answer was yes then i'd simply tell her that i'm not looking for a relationship right now and would feel kind of strange going to the movies on a dating simulation.

If the answer to question number 2 was yes then i would I would simply tell her that I am not interested in dating but would not mind hanging out as long as we are clear that it is not a date and i'm not interested in a relationship at all. If the answer was no then I would simply tell her to go find another friend because I already have to many.

I hope you figure out the best answer to this little problem. Don't know if i helped any but I hope it helps a little. Have a good life.

Reply