These are a small sample of a lot of things I have written over a long period of time. I actually may have a book published soon that has some of this poetry as part of it. Anyway, I'll post more if people like it.



*Vapors*
Vapors
all thats left.
Overcast skies, swirling dust,
Dry riverbeds, cracked soil.
What lies in those cracks,
The scars of earth,
The caterpillar's canyons?
Did the water trade goodbyes
With the rocks
Before it decided to leave them?



*Untitled*
Gone.
Is that what I am?
Is that what this is?
Have I been erased?
My burdens matter not
To those who have no burdens;
I watch myself vanish
As no one hears my cries.
The echoes of my tears
Shatter my glass form,
Because no one is willing to catch
The tears that aren't theirs.
You all wait.
You all wait and watch and ask
And call your queries "care."
You steal what hope I have left
And leave me to vanish in my pain.
I wish I could stay,
But when I disappear
All that will be left
Will be my burden of lack
And your lack of burden.
And now I am gone.


*Weather*
Today was weather to die to.
The clouds swallowed us whole,
Pouring their worries down on
A weeping earth.
She couldn't sympathize, and
Threw them onto pavement shoulders,
Mixing them with her own
Rocky guilts and muddied pressures.
This river of broken hopes swirled
Down through concrete objections
And collected at the bottom
Of a valley-
Earth's broken heart,
A shattered piece of her soul.
I watched this pool, knowing
Only hurt.
The sun turned his back,
Leaving the darkness to have its way.
Today was weather to die to.


*Alright*
You were and you are:
Worlds away from one another.
Your energy is now changing:
Shifting, darkening, distancing.
Memories are only intangible "yous"
And the ever-present presents clouds to my remembered sky.
The entire process of closing a door
Is a memory
When walking away.
And...
At times it hurts when realizing
Today's tomorrows will be tomorrow's yesterdays,
And none of it
Is
yet.
But right

now

I am walking away...
And
now
is alright.


*Tragic*
I'm still searching for the beginning of this,
And what's tragic is that
I won't find it until I reach the end.
It's an odd friend, tragedy,
One that follows you,
Urging you to beware,
Hurry, Watch Out, Continue bravely, threatening to reveal itself
(Or something like that).
But today is just one of those days
That begins with a breath and ends with a sigh, without cause or risk.
... That would have been a good beginning.
But I've reached the end.
How tragic.


*Courting*
In the process of searching for a mirror,
One finds a lake.
Reflective but full of itself.
One may come across a knife,
Shining the world off itself
But existing only to separate, cut, tear.
I recall a picture frame as well,
Giving the slightest conveyance of me
But preoccupied with the past.
And then there was a shard,
Reflecting me perfectly, but small
And only a broken piece of what it once was.
And if I find my prize,
Will she reflect my relief,
Or my weariness?


*Moment*
Sometimes I shiver
At the realization that I marry in a glance,
Propose in a breath,
And court in a sigh.
It hurts to think my passion is
Overbearing, Overused, Overstated,
Overeverything.
I wonder at times if my method of love
Is a tactic better left for an
Uncompromising marksman.
But my greatest worry is that
This entire time that I've married, propsed, courted
So many unwitting others,
Is that they have already separated me in a cough,
Divorced me in a step,
Forgotten me in a stare.
Loneliness is so much more profound
With the knowledge that lives are changed and souls are separated,
All within the eternity of a moment.


*Letting Go*
One time she asked
"Is it 'I don't want to feel this world around me?'"
And I had to say no;
She thought it would sound better
That way
Anyway.
And I remember being
Sad
Impressed
(Confused?)
At her ability to make the most upsetting
Of words the most comforting
Of thoughts.
And I feel more comforted
Missing her
Than the words may appear.


*Hurricanes and Hearts*
Today I saw
An oak
Uprooted, uplifted, upheaved
By the breeze.
And I realized the promise
Life gives us;
Tress grow and reach their heights,
Spread their roots and plant firmly in earth,
And for what?
A breeze reminds me of what I can't place a name on.
That something
That everyone feels, knows about,
Warns about,
But succumbs to anyway.
And lives just sway
Like oaks in a breeze.


*To You, Finally*
I will embrace my hate for you
Only so much longer,
Until I can feel some sort of
Compassion
again (?)
And I will grow
And you will know
The mistakes you've made
Have killed you.
And this will end, and so will
that,
And this and that will not
Come back,
But I will be living and you
Will be dying
Knowing I, too, at one point,
was
Crying.
But you killed my reasons
for
having tears
And it tears me now that I
think about it;
He won't comfort you,
because I am(?) your comfort.
And you will not sleep, and
You will not dream.
You are fighting a war against
Spirits,
Spirits that will find you.
Karma and Destiny and Fate,
All are ready and waiting.

I'm hanging off the side of this,
Waiting to fall,
And wondering why
You don't care at all.

 

 

 

Reply

More....

*Ice Angel*
The snow has overcome you;
You are numb to me.
My words cannot warm you,
My actions you can't see.
I beg and plead and pull you,
Denying what I know.
Instead of choosing love and warmth,
You have chosen the snow.

Until you return, I sleep.
Until you return, I sleep.

I lay down by your frozen form
And hold your broken feet.
I try to melt this with my tears
But struggle without heat.
I know this will not ever work;
But hope is now my vice.
So I close my eyes, and pull you close,
Enveloped in the ice.


*Everything You Say You Don't Know*
There was a moment in eternity
Where we stirred poetry
In each other.
Where words poured out
In a hurried attempt
To record the world inside our hearts.
There was a moment where we were one-
The cloth we were sewn from
Was threaded, again, as a blanket of warmth and safety.
There was a moment
Where pleasure and pain blurred,
And we simply
Felt
together.
Those moments unraveled.
You chose time instead of forever.
You chose silence and punctuation
Instead of words, feelings, expression.
You tore the cloth and burned its thread.
You chose to be numb.
So no longer will my words describe you.
My poetry ends now-
Take your unfeeling, simple, calm life
That speaks so lowly of tears and words and
Heavenly cloth and sincerity,
Take it and die with it.
Because time and silence and fire and numbness all die-
They are limited by minutes and degrees and death,
And end as expression and words and eternity watch.
Die with all of this.
I may watch from heaven, holding the halo that would have been yours.

*Response*
Your soul was dead?
No wonder it tasted like *BLEEP*.
Thats the last time I trust a cadaver.

*Butterflies*
I see your struggle to keep your pride
Even though I'm watching from the outside.
I've heard your tears and know your heart
Although we still are far apart.
I've seen the gaping hole in your chest
I know why you're now such a mess.
I've seen it there, I've heard your cries,
I saw all the dead butterflies.
But you didn't kill them; it was him.
He took them down, and bathed them in sin.
You let them sit, as time went on.
Still, you butterflies remain too far gone.
Your hole is unhealed, your heart now shakes
At the thought of life being one big heartbreak.
After all this time, you still have not tried
To revive all the dead butterflies.
But I now see the future in sight;
I want to help put them back in flight.
Our kisses will straighten their tainted wings;
Our wings will shelter them from painful things.
My love for you will last all our lives,
And I will bring back your butterflies.


This one is my favorite...



This morning I awoke with a start
Fresh from a night
Of turbulence, tossing, turning,
Tears and trials colliding,
Raw and afraid.
My eyes fought for a lack of exposure,
Afraid to open to what they figured to be more
Of
less.
But eventually will kicked in,
And forced them at ease, opening
Timidly.
Not a rush of air,
Nor an attack of light,
Or any other trojan disguised and ready
Found its way towards me;
Only calm.
Frantic and Panicked, I
Leapt from my bed,
Proceeded to wash away what I knew would be
More of the same lies.
But the water trickled dowm,
Erasing yesterday
And only whispering today.
I knew this;
I'd seen it before,
So I quickly got dressed
(I can't let my guard down.)
But things were still
calm.
quiet.
ok.
I demanded a stay of my silence,
Trying to drown out what were more promises
From nature, telling me to smile.
My anger grew,
Resentment towards the light that mocked my dark,
Fear of the birds that broke my solace,
Disgust at the light breeze that wrapped its cool arms around me.
Finally I
broke
RUNNING/
Stepping
Do
wn
st
ai
rs
to confront this spectre,
This liar.
I was ready to throw these things back at its face,
Expecting glaring sunlight,
Overwhelming heat,
The drone of buses,
Everything to upset me further
And show me that Mother Nature was just another lying Magdalena.
I turned ran stumbled and ripped open the door

and then nothing.
Nothing yet.
And then, something.
A chill, only slight, but comforting
Wind brushing through my hair, around my face,
Cooling and calming me.
A choir of birds above,
Talking or laughing or whispering whatever it is that they
Talk or laugh or whisper about,
Melding with the wind to make the sound of peace
(If peace makes a noise.)
The sunlight peeked through the treetops,
approaching me with care and understanding,
hoping I would step into it and accept it for what it was;
Light, life, hope.
And I cry now that I think about it,
Because nightmares and loneliness and painful silence
All had their place for such a long time.
But nature, within the space between a leaf departing from a tree and meeting with the ground,
Erased all of my scars
And reminded me of how beautiful things can be.
Suddenly, immediately,
But not noticably,
Everything that had torn at me before
Vanished from my mind.
I sat down,
Layed down on the grass that welcomed me,
And listened the orchestra of the world around me.
There is no reason to hurt
When there is so much beauty around us,
Inside us,
Ahead of us.

And this wind, now,
Helps me breathe.

 

 

 

Reply

*Here, Between Parentheses*
Days start and stop,
Periods and Capitals,
With nothing but our feelings remaining.
But here, between parentheses,
Time crumbles to a snail's slowest pace.
I am caught in the touch
Of your hair on my face,
Your skin on my hand,
Your taste in my mouth.
Here, nothing is what I want it to be.
There, your world is spiraling.
Our fortress, though strong, rests on a crumbling island
Under attack by waves and fault lines.
Our technicolor night dissolves
To a black-and-white reality.
But worry for our island is not needed;
Our fortress needs nothing but you and I.
The best way to beat the waves and fault lines
Is to take my hand, so we can take flight.
Our hearts are above the world
That strives so hard to end us.
But we can separate ourselves;
We can be "we."
As this sentence ends, we will no longer need words.



*A Second Before 10:17*
The tip of my hair,
Criss-crossing my face,
Over my occupied lips,
Falling,
Twisting,
Flying
To your skin,
Snaking between your shoulders,
Crawling down your spine,
Dissolving into you.
How profound, my envy for this bead of sweat.


*Revelation*
My emotions are painful
And patience I lack;
But sometimes, true love
Means holding "me" back.


*Explosions in the Sky*
Teetering, tottering toddlers burning
On piles of bodies
Convicted of lies.
Hidden killers spreading, infecting,
Burning, melting,
Murdering innocents and children.
Shock and Awe, Shocking and Aweing
A family enraptured
By explosions in the sky.
Tyranny, hatred, evil
Infecting the souls of billions.
And yet, I cry
And pine and die
Over a silent phone.


*You Are*
You are
Ripping and Tearing
And Killing and Burning
And Twisting and Biting
And Kicking and Scratching
And Slashing and Stabbing
And Breaking
my heart.
And I hate you for it.


*Words*
These words mean nothing compared to the mountains
That they wish they could move.
And they stir nothing but tears and fears
In me, far from the smiles and changes they beg from you.
These words only take up conscious space;
No land, no air, no feelings.
They travel through your ears and eyes,
And try to do their work while you sleep,
Placing me in murky dreams
With rain changed to rainbows,
Clouds turned to stars.
These words fail, as mountains and clouds and you remain unchanged.
And now, these words weep with me.


*Indescribable Words*
Snarling, biting, pulling
Against its tether.
Salivating, aching, gnawing
For freedom, indiscretion, suffrage.
All its weight pushing
Against all that stands in front of it.
Weeping, laughing, indescribable words
Filtered through a mask of a smile.
This is my desire for you.


*Isn't*
The most painful part
About emptiness and absence
Is that something that once was,
Suddenly now isn't.

*Daily Dying in Her Flowers*
He hates her everytime she says "Now now,"
Blaming this behavior on things like age.
He is wrong, but she never tells him so.
She never got to a nunnery
Since he just took it back, married her,
And wrote it all off as a bad year.
Now she spends her time gardening,
Dying daily in her flowers,
Jealous of their seeds and their growth.
Most of the time he is gone,
Busy with problems he will
Talk about solving, but won't.
Sometimes she cries, but she
Learned long ago that tears
Never cleanse anything.
She has no father,
She has no brother,
She has no self-worth.
Only her mind,
Wrapped up in the
Hopes of her past.
When she sleeps,
She won't dream,
But won't care.
And now
She weeps
At her
Life's
Closed
Door.


*Yours*
I'd sail to the moon,
Capturing stars,
Steal Saturn's rings
And other divine things,
Place them on clouds
And fly them down
On feathers from angels.
I'd wrap them with rainbow,
A touch of sunset,
And place it all in the palm of your
Delicate
Hand.
This gift would be nothing compared to you
And your
World.
But it waits patiently still
For you to smile,
Take it,
And exhale.

Reply

I'll just add a few more... sorry but I figured I might as well throw them all up since they are a bunch of different forms and styles and some people prefer certain styles (i.e. freeform, iambic pentameter) to others.

*Asleep*
What if those who surrounded you
Were blind, deaf, and dumb
And thought that they were truly feeling
When you know that they're numb?
Imagine living in a world
With everyone asleep
And no one stirs from dreaming
Because their daze is deep.
While everyone is lost, but think
They truly are aware,
You watch as people run in circles
And see the masks they wear.
What if you lived inside my head
And saw the world I keep?
You'd probably laugh, and walk away,
And go right back to sleep.

*In Waiting For A Sunrise*
In waiting for a sunrise
I see the sky alight.
The promise of a burning power
Still away from sight.
The birds begin to flutter
And the dew begins to shine,
All signs that light will make its way
Past sycamore and pine.
A cloud once blocking a starry night
Now brightens the coming day.
Souls stir and minds awake
While still their bodies lay.
And yet the sun must clumb its path
across the barren sky
Every time the moon gives up
And stars choose not to fly.
Although one knows the sun will burn
In all certainty,
The worry grows in wary minds
It might, one day, not be.
In waiting for a sunrise,
One thought still gives me fear;
I won't know until tomorrow
If it is actually there.

*Greener Grass*
A garden exists, so far and away,
A garden that conquers night and day.
Separate from rules of God and man,
It redefines what gardens have been.
I used to visit it, time to time
Until the garden was no longer mine.
Stones I threw, for days, unaware
That this garden already had it's share.
And so, defeated, I left my Eden
Ignorant to patience I lacked within.
Storms have passed since I left this place,
Clouds have parted, and the light now hits my face.
I see the garden, distantly there
And realize now that I truly do care.
The roses will breathe in freshly cleaned Earth.
The plants will know the amount they're worth.
But now, another man is minding this space.
Yes, while I was gone, he took my place.
He tends the roses like I once did,
He listens to the grass, and does as it bids.
So now I wait for a time when its free-
When the garden can finally be tended by me.
This garden that exists so far and away
Will comfort my night and justify my day.


*Orchid Among Roses*
How pitiful it is to be an orchid among roses.
Truly-Flower you may be. But sadly, one supposes;
The roses prick you with their thorns, and soon you start to wilt.
Instead of being a unique orchid, you are the roses' silt.

*Walk Away*
Possibly my footprints will show you what could be
But I can't retrace anything for you.
How pathetic it seems, my dedicated lie.
Thats you. All You.
These pictures do nothing but scream,
This phone does nothing at all.
My pen cries, my tears dry,
and my thoughts have formed, as confusing as before.
The idea of thinking twice never occured until now.
Searching for the words never was harder
And crying has never been so deep in vain.
And now the promise I wear today
Does nothing but lie and mockingly say
"Everyhing you want to believe about what may be true
Will do nothing but lie, cheat, and then simply
Walk away from you."

*The First Three Seconds*
And everything is spinning now.
Tumbling out of a tangle of tattered dreams
And tainted things
The cloud my mind rests on appears.
A splash of cotton, a tickle of feathers
Lures me from a wedding scene.
The light that is present in everyone's eyes
Drags me from light that shines in my mind.
And for a second,
Her loving gaze
Which promises a life of days
Fixing fences and tousling hair
Is suddenly, for a second, there.
The world is still a place to hide
from the pain in people's minds.
But as the ever-present light grows brighter
The fences start to fade.
And reality rushes back to life.
The first three seconds are never enough.

*Everything Minus You*
Is it love that makes my mind
Tie your stare to the mountainside?
Take your smile and spread it out
as far as my eyes can see
And call it by "Horizon?"
What challengs my hands
to find a surface
That doesn't make me miss
Your surface?
Why is every space empty,
Simply because it isn't filled by you?
What about my heartache
Took everything I knew
And transformed it into
Everything minus you?

*Pulse*
I would live on your lips-
Peaceful, without forced entry or tone-
And slide across your tongue
Like liquid steel.
I would pulse through your veins
And live in your heart,
Complimenting the beat with
all my impassioned thoughts.
I would give you goosebumps,
Give your mind thrills,
Trickle, crawl, slither down your back
and cover you with chills.
My presence within you
would bring you to your knees-
But am I your lover,
Or your disease?

*Angel's Tango*
Allow me this moment to put my wings aside-
This halo's luster is not yet to be witnessed.
How petty, these matters of love and confusion
that I am forced to endure, now.
You... you are only human-
imperfect, defined by what you are not.
In this tango we have been forced into,
I lead, and you dance-unaware that
I was born to fly on wings,
Dance upon the clouds,
And spend my days on golden streets.
I am not one of you, nor can I become you.
But you have but a chance-
Become an angel with me-
Find your wings, take these.
Please, join me in the clouds!
Its easy to be let in!
Just take this dagger to the heart
To enter into heaven!

*A Star Resembles an "X"*
you... love... you...
love...
you...
I have no distraction...
No, only your picture by my bed.
I have no motivation...
Only the reasons flying in my head.
Others love you love others love you,
But others see only smiles see only others... its so true.
It can be covered,
Embellished, continued, and... relished.
Pain is so useful!
Charting my path from the phone to my tears
was not on my agenda today.
If I cry for some reason,
I still have so much to say...
But yet... one more time...
Some things are worth the wait...
And I'm still waiting.

*The Fall*
Following a trail of criss-crossing insecurities
(through a forest of memories I fall)
Pale faces stare out, frail hands grab and pull,
as I make my way through.
As quietly as they left, my fears return,
and I stare, stare ahead
in the face of my pain.

Wisps of hurt and drops of hate
Begin to surround my helpless form.
I cry, so loud, desiring someone
but no one can come inside.
And I feel it return... I feel it come back.
And my heart begins to cry.

So I fall deeper into the hole
I've dug inside my soul.

No face to talk to.
No hand to grasp.
Falling deeper, with no way out...
Drowning in drops of pain...

As the fear subsides
I see you there...
Wondering aloud if you are my comfort, or my end.

*Reflections*
I watched your eyes close, so slowly,
so sweetly.
I watched them close from fear.
And I saw myself fall away...

Your eyes hold that vague secret,
that hole...
Opening your mind, revealing your soul.
And I tumble, so far...
Farther down.

But you closed your eyes...
And hid me away.

Tears cascade down your face-
A drop for a memory,
Forced out.
And I waited at the bottom,
to catche each... for you...

But you closed your eyes...
And hid me away.

And so I saw myself fall away,
Gripping, grasping, looking to heal you.
Shut out, closed out, I watched
as my reflection disappeared.

And I still don't know why
I see myself in your eyes.

Reply

Wow! You left me speechless. The amount of poems that you have written and how you managed to make them all so well-thought out is amazing. You have some talent, bro. I wish you the best of luck on the book.

Reply

Thanks! I have a lot more but haven't really transferred them to the comp yet. I don't really think that much with a lot of them, they just tend to be representative of very adamant feelings I held at the time. Sometimes I'll go back over them and do something special with them to make it more poetic, in a sense, but for the most part thats all raw.

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Hi there! Just checked out some of your poems. I must say you have a gift. If you do have more, have you ever thought of sending them to a publisher? Just a thought.

By the way, I wonder if you have made any haiku in English?

Keep up the good work!

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Amazing! I write poems myself, but this is way better than mine! They are clear in meaning and are easy to understand! It's a wonderful read! You should try and publish them! That way, you can also get extra cash for your poems! They're beautiful! *applause*

*is left with an open mouth blankly staring into space*

You wrote quite a collection of poems you know. Go get 'em!

Reply

I've actually never considered getting them published, they've always just kind of sat around with me. All over my room. I guess I should look into it.

As far as haikus go, I'm not that big of a fan of form unless I'm playing on it with the words, as e. e. cummings used to. I could whip a few out really quickly probably, but I've never really wanted to since it didn't come naturally.

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WOW,

what a great set of poems, you have the gift. Keep them comming and we can point to the treads here when you are published and famous

I had to give you a positive reputation for this tread.

Nils

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