Shes The One, But How Do I Go About Making It Happ

jezza1989

Jan 23 2006, 10:03 PM

when i was roughly 12 years old i knew this girl , we got on really well and i had a bit of a crush on her (she may have shown the same feelings). i then didnt see her for 2yrs and a couple of years later i hav seen her out and about at tennis and we havent really spoken, iv probably spoken to her mum more because we know each other quite well!
The other day i saw her where i work at the gym (im now 16) and she recognised me i think but were too shy to talk to each other. i still really like her alot!!! and want to date her but i think itll be really awkward to speak to her if i see her in the gym (where im planning to talk to her again). i just need advice on how to get to see her more than just at the gym and ask her out.

Please help!!!

LocalSeer

Jan 23 2006, 10:17 PM

You are acting shy and giving off a vibe which is making her uneasy. Act happy to see her(don't be afraid to show it) and your happy vibe should make her relaxed and happy too. Peer pressure can work for you like that. Just walk up to her, no one is gonna ask you why so don't worry. The location looks excellent too, the gym is perfect, you can play tennnis with her or show her some techniques in the gym you work at.

Thorned Rose

Jan 23 2006, 10:33 PM

Here's some links. They might be intended to be funny, but most of it is true especially the second one.

Things Guys Should Know About

13 Ways To Find Out If Someone Likes You - In the "For Girls" section you might want to do some of the nicer things listed.

And btw, don't ever give a girl space - if you back off she will think that you're not that interested (but don't act stalker obsessive!).

jlhaslip

Jan 23 2006, 10:47 PM

If she is into 'fitness' chat her up and suggest some activity which will enhance her fitness level a bit and get her outside of the Gym. I'm thinking a walk through a Nature area, hiking, biking, something aerobic...

Mature Lamb

Jan 23 2006, 11:07 PM

I see it's your first post, welcome to Trap 17! Hope you enjoy your stay.

Anyways, back on topic. You said you knew her when you were 12 right? Try to bring back some memories of anything special, so then you'll have an easier time talking to her. Once she feels more comfortable with you, then you can ask her out somewhere.. but not too early.

unicornrose

Jan 24 2006, 07:19 AM

Well since the two of you have not talked in a long time a smile and a wave would be a good start. If she comes over to you ask her if she would like to go to coffee or for lunch or something to catch up. Its a great way to start. it would be a good idea to get to know her again. People do change in two years.

serenity

Jan 24 2006, 11:35 AM

Well if i was you i would be urself walk up to her and ask her if she can teach you some moves in tennis LoL and talk to her like you use to ask her questions like where she lives.. what she is doin with her life.. and mayb if she has a boyfriend and if not ask her if she feels like seeing anyone.. and then KABLAMM.. you charm her and you have yourself a girlfriend

jezza1989

Jan 24 2006, 07:39 PM

thanks for the replies! i was just wondering, i dont really know what days she goes and how often, so if i see her again it maybe the last... u never now lol. so if i see her how would i be able to see her more often (without askin for her number because its a bit stalkerish and i aint good on phones lol) and possibly 'hit it off' pretty soon. i know patience is a virtue but i really cant get her out of my head.
Shes also roughly a year younger. would you see this as an advantage seen as younger girls generally like older guys.

Thorned Rose

Jan 24 2006, 08:20 PM

Well if she regularly goes to the gym, strike up a conversation about that, then you can slip it in "how often do you come". Though, I have to agree with Unicornrose. Ask to go out and have a coffee or lunch to catch up. It's perfectly valid and 'innocent' reason for going out and you will get a foot in the door as the saying goes.

DaRealChrono

Jan 24 2006, 09:36 PM

Well, In my opinion you should get into Tennis if you aren't already. After that, walk up to her one day and say "I remember you, My name is ___." If she gives you a blank stare, which would probably be best is to say "Don't you rember when ___" and bring up something fromt he past. If she does then just talk for a while. Try to find a way to be around her more, which is why I brought up you getting into tennis. Be like "Do you come here alot and play tennis" and if she says yes ask her to play a game or something. Let her beat you badly and ask her if she could help you out. That would be the way I approach it, but it's you life lol.

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Dagoth Nereviar

Aug 7 2006, 08:35 PM

One thing:

Go for her. Ever seen the movie "Chasin Amy"? No? *Gets Silent Bob big speech*

QUOTE

So there's me an' Amy, and we're all inseparable, right? Just big time in love. And then about four months in, I ask about the ex-boyfriend. Dumb move, I know, but you know how it is - you don't really want to know, but you just have to... stupid guy *BLEEP*. Anyway she starts telling me all about him - how they dated for years, lived together, her mother likes me better, blah, blah, blah - and I'm okay. But then she tells me that a couple times, he brought other people to bed with them - ménage a tois, I believe it's called. Now this just blows my mind. I mean, I'm not used to that sort of thing, right? I was raised Catholic.

So I get weirded out, and just start blasting her, right? This is the only way I can deal with it - by calling her a slut, and telling her that she was used - I mean, I'm out for blood I want to hurt her - because I don't know how to deal with what I'm feeling. And I'm like "What the *BLEEP* is wrong with you?" and she's telling me that it was that time, in that place, and she didn't do anything wrong, so she's not gonna apologize. So I tell her it's over, and I walk.

No, idiot. It was a mistake. I wasn't disgusted with her, I was afraid. At that moment, I felt small - like I'd lacked experience, like I'd never be on her level or never be enough for her or something. And what I didn't get was that she didn't care. She wasn't looking for that guy anymore. She was looking for me, for the Bob. But by the time I realized this, it was too late, you know. She'd moved on, and all I had to show for it was some foolish pride, which then gave way to regret. She was the girl, I know that now. But I pushed her away...

Ignore the whole "*BLEEP*" thing...and it kinda fits

PS: Sorry for the length.

But go for her, you'll regret it later if you don't

sexymama1723

Aug 7 2006, 08:27 PM

You should really tell her how you feel. You will feel so much better after you have told her. It will be like a big sigh of relief.And If she dosen't respond they way you think she should then move on. There are always other fish in the sea hun

lawmatchmaker

Jul 27 2006, 06:36 PM

QUOTE(jezza1989 @ Jan 23 2006, 06:03 PM)

I think that since you are the man, behave like one. Ask her out direct and if she rejects you, try and try again till she agrees. If you really want something in life, you should try and do it, not waste time sitting around thinking of why you sholdn't do it.

Chatz

Jul 22 2006, 10:07 PM

Let's begin by talking about the concept of "the one" or in other words, a "soul mate". Many people believe that there is only one soul mate for each of us, or at most, only a very few. In fact, according to my own research, there are thousands of soul mates - maybe even hundreds of thousands - for each of us!

So, is she "the one"? Obviously, I don't know. Further, I don't know if she's going to date you as I don't read minds and I don't see into the future. However, with that said, let's now talk about marriage.

Should you be married in the future with this girl you say you only see at the gym? My first reaction is no. This isn't based on anything you've said however, this is based on few simple facts. First, dating itself is a "format" for the relationship - just as there are a thousand other "formats" from dating to living together, etc. This has nothing to do with the quality of the relationship itself. I try to get people to understand that the quality is the most important aspect and that you should choose a format that will either sustain or enhance that quality only before going out after want you wan in this case the girl. Don't start to go to the gym or tennis more just to see her more simply because it seems like the next step. Become her friend either because you know it will take an otherwise perfect relationship and you may give it that last little kick to make it, The second fact is that dating rarely makes a relationship better if it's not already perfect once you two are friends! Consider that becoming her friend and making it a good one before going ahead.dn't rush things no matter how much you like this girl.If you happy with the friendship you two have made and think you can step it up then go for it.More than 1/2 of all relationships end in breaks for this very reason as to people rushing into things so make sure you know what she wants once you become close to her. As I continue to say, there aren't too many"friendships", there are too many break ups because people don't know eachother well but yet they want to date.Some say they date someone so they can get to know them better which is WRONG.

One last fact: I don't think that anyone should consider dating until they've been friends at least for a good time. After than, the talks can begin.

QUOTE

Advise posted by me,the relationship shrink (chatz)

Wilson Cook

Jun 1 2006, 07:45 PM

Hey, what happened with you and the girl? Did you manage to make it work?

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