I guess I should start off by explaining what a wallaby is for those of you who do not already know. A wallaby is basically a kangaroo only smaller. It is native to Australia and is often considered a pest in many parts of the country. The following story has been told by those involved at campfires, parties, and jam sessions. I swear that every word in this story is true and that no wallabies were harmed.
All of this started a few years ago when I was a junior in high school. My friends and I were looking for something to do after school one day and Steve just happened to know where a wallaby farm was. He was obsessed with sneaking up to the pen where the wallabies were and petting one. I had never heard of anyone having a wallaby before, especially not in my small Pennsylvanian town. He wanted me and my friend Ben too come with him and drive by the house with the penned up wallabies and scope them out. We bailed on that idea, but Steve went ahead anyways. The next night (like every night), the whole crew was at a bonfire at Ben's. We got to talkin about the wallaby and for some reason ended up scheming to steal the thing. Steve was the only one who had actually been to this place. He told us that there were only like three wallabies and they were penned up in a small cage. Best of all it was only like a five minute ride from Ben's on this obscure backroad. This was perfect! Ben, Hoagie, and I were frickin amped to steal this thing. No one else wanted any part of it, saying we would either pussy out or get arrested. But we were prepared. The three of us went inside and put on all black: black sweatshirt, black beanie, we even ducked taped our shoes black. We looked like damn maniacs.
At around 3'oclock a.m. Hoagie drove Ben and I in his truck down the backroad where the the wallabies were. We saw the house and the pen from the road but continued down about 300 yard and found a perfect spot on the side of the road where the trees seperated and we could back the truck into. We all got out of the truck and ninja jogged down the road in the moonlight. The supplies we brought with us were a dog collar and chain, and carrots (for some reason we assumed wallabies liked carrots). As we made our way quietly down the driveway we stopped dead in our tracks. Steve was a damn liar. There was not three wallabies in a small pen. There were OVER 13 WALLABIES IN A HUGE ROUND PEN! These things weren't small either- they were frickin huge. Some of them had to be almost 6 feet tall. We slowly walked up to the edge of the pen. The wallabies were going ape s@%!. At this point all of us were loosing our minds laughing as silently as we could. The house was only about 100 yards away and there was nothing blocking us from sight if someone were to wake up and look out the window. We entered the pen and the psycho animals went even crazier. They new we were there to take them. We entered the middle of the pen and watched these animals hop around us at lightning speeds all the while overcome with laughter. For the next ten minutes we chased these things around, dove at them, and couldn't catch one. There was only one small wallaby in the pen, which looked as though it couldn't have been more than a year old. Somehow all three of use surrounded the small one and slowly walked towards it. Ben made a quick move to grab it put it hopped away and tried to get past me. I took an all out dive and grabbed it's leg. I thought I had it but it smacked me on the side of my head and broke free. Just before it hopped into the clear Hoagie came out of nowhere and wrestled it to the ground. Ben ran over to help hold it down while it kicked like crazy. I quickly put the dog collar around it's neck and Ben and Hoagie picked it up and carried it out of the pen. We ran down the road as fast as we could and got into the truck. Me and Ben sat in the back holding the wallaby on our laps while Hoagie sped down the road towards Ben's house. The thing was going crazy in the back seat until Hoagie put in a Jimi Hendrix cd. As soon as All Along The Watchtower came on, the wallaby suddenly mellowed out. Nice, it was like he was part of the crew. Hoagie called up Nora and Hank who were the only ones still at Ben's (and among the ones who didn't believe we would actually pull this off), and told them to come out to the end of the driveway and wait for us. A few minutes later, we pulled up and Hank opened the door to the backseat. Both of them couldn't believe what we had on our laps. I don't think I have ever seen two faces as shocked before in my life, (except when my parents found out I had Photoshop'ed my report cards- but that's another story ).
After a few minutes we sped away again, this time to Hoagie's house where he had a really big chicken coup that wasn't being used anymore. We put the wallaby in the coup for the night and untill we could think of somewhere we could keep him without anyone finding out.
The next day all of our friends went over to Hoagie's where we crawled in the coup with the wallaby, which we decided to name Reefer the night before. Everyone was so excited that we had an awsome wallaby. Reefer was the s@$!t. He was so mellow we could pet him and sit next to him all day. However, we soon came to the realization that there was no way we could keep this thing. We couldn't keep it where it was because Hoagie's dad said he didn't want cops knocking on his door. Sadly, we all decide that we had to return it. But how? The people we stole it from would know that it was stolen and didn't run away so we couldn't just sneak back in an put it back in it's pen. Then I came up with the idea that we could build a crate and drop it off at the end of the driveway late at night. It sounded like it would be a funny way of returning an animal. The people would wake up the next morning to find the wallaby that was stolen two nights ago returned in a crate at the end of thier drive way. Hilarious right?
So Hoagie got to work on building the crate. When it was finished we decided that it would be even funnier if we wrote on the side of the crate that we named the wallaby reefer and some other stuff. I don't remember exactly what we wrote but it basically said that we took care of Reefer and that he was our friend for a day, blah blah blah. It was funny, thats all I remember.
Reluctantly, we loaded the truck up with the crate with Reefer in it and drove off at 3 a.m to house we burglarized the night before. As fast as we could we unloaded the crate and placed it at the end of thier driveway and took off.
Some interesting stuff took place the following weeks after (like they found out my name), but I don't feel like typing anymore. If you want to hear what else happened or just want to comment on my story i.e, love it or hate it, let me know and I'll be glad to hear from you.
-j.j

 

 

 

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I'd like to hear what else happened, I really enjoyed reading this, thanks for sharing it:) It would make a great children's story:) You'll have to tell this to your own children, grandchildren & nieces and nephews if and when you have any:) Without the word pussy and the burgalry part though lol.

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Although it seemed funny at the time, what you did was considered a crime and I would be curious as to how they found out, but me thinks they got the crate finger printed. I would want to know what your punishment was for doign this because I doubt it would be as severe if the animal ended up dead while you had it, but at least you returned it unharmed though.

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That's kinda funny, but I imagine the poor animal was in shock, and what you did, like everyone else said, was pretty awful. Well, at least you returned it and had fun for a day.
Oh, and I photoshopped a math grade printout once... it was pretty funny in retrospect but, dang, it was a good job.

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Well, after we returned it I think one of my friends started talking about it in school. Everyone seemed to think it was pretty funny but, and this is the f'ed up part, one girl at my school worked at the damn wallaby place! Seriously, of all the places to have a job she worked at this damn house in the middle of nowhere! I found this out because about a week later my truck needed work done so i had to ride the yellow thing to school one morning. This girl that I barely knew told me she worked at the wallaby house and told the people my name. I was soooo pissed. The only reason she told them was because they were accusing her boyfriend who also worked there. For the whole month I was on edge expecting either them or the cops to show up at my door. But they never did so all is well.
For all those who think that what I did was awful, you are right. I guess it was just one of those things that kids do when they are young and reckless. Granted, I still am practically a kid but I definitely would not do something like that again. No regrets though.

P.S.
I did have a close call with the people when I almost applied for a job at a restaurant down the road from my house that they owned! Luckily the same girl that told them my name later told me that they owned the restaurant before I turned the application in.

 

 

 

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bwhahaha... thats a hilarious story man... of course it was a criminal act and all.... but its still frickin' funny....

And photohsopin' your report card... thats amazing... haha.....

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I guess funny is a matter of perspective. To someone who rasies animals, this is very disturbing.
I wonder if wallaby farmers get attatched to their wallabies?
I do know if I caught someone walking off with one of my dogs I'd shoot their sorry *bottom*.

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