My Problems Continue :(

ok so yeah if you have read my other topics you now i love this girl who is one of my close friends but she is going with this guy i hate...my one friend asked her what she saw in him and she said that he is the only one that treats her like a girl, like she is supposed to be treated, he is nice, funny and cares about her. This deeply hurt me :'( and to add to it, she told my friend that she wasnt going to even hang out with us because me and all my friends hate her boyfriend...so i went home and IMed her and asked her in the exact way my friend did and she gave me the same answer and then asked me why it bothered me that they were together and i said that i hated him because of past issues which is true and she had known this before she even started talking to him(which was like litterally a week before he asked her out). So then she was mad at me and we went our separate ways for the night and the next night i IMed her and asked her if she was still mad at me and she said alittle so i asked what i could do to make it up to her and basicly i told her EVERYTHING and she said she "loved me like a brother but even if we had something it wouldnt be worth our friendship." i agreed with her and she said she wasnt mad anymore. I dont know if it is just me but she kinda acts like she is mad at me and doesnt want to be around me but will still talk to me on the computer... its been 8 days since i told her everything and she is still acting weird...and honestly i have no idea what to do....basicly everytime she gets a myspace picture i tell her she is beautiful and she sent me a picture of her trying on a dress that she wanted to get and i told her she was gorgous and that makes me feel great that i can tell her all the stuff that i want to, but at the same time the constant AIM away messages saying "i love my boyfreind" make me feel absolutly miserable...ive started to notice that im having alot of mood swings and the smallest things like someone bumping into my chair can make me so mad...i have no idea what to do at this point... the only options i can see are just try and stay away from her which is going to be extremely hard considering we have 2 classes together and i love talking to her but even if i can do this i risk us drifting apart or i can try and wait it out but every week just explode and go off on someone... PLEEEEEEEEEASE HELP

 

 

 

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I think you should just chill out. If you want a chance, acting weird and bothering her won't help. Just go with the flow and if she ends up liking you, it's great.

It's normal for girls to say "i love my boyfriend" in their away message, so don't let that get t you.

From the way you tell the story, it seems you're in junior high school or high school, both of which don't mean much for long relationships. Just wait it out and see if you get a chance.

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wow... ive been reading your story so far and its kinda the most depressing thing ive read that nobody dies in.

Yeah, i would just ride the situation out if i were you, but aside from that i really don't know. im having my own girl problems at the moment, but this is worse. hope it works out well...

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I've had a very similar situation before. And I understand how you feel, really.
She doesn't wants to lose your friendship, she really doesn't wants. So please don't go bothering her and act normal. Some women are weak when it comes to hurting their friends because of their relationships with other people.
Now that you told her everything, have in mind that your friendship with her will not be the same for a long time. But eventually it will come to normal, and maybe will become better!
But please don't run away from her.
And dude, understand that because of this situation, you won't be able of having her as a girlfriend for a very long time. Take the time to restore your friendship with her, canalize your love in a sane and healing manner and improve your friendship with her.
Women like stable people, show her that you can.

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Update: I made 5 goals for myself and i told her them because she wanted to know what they were and they are:
#1 not to lose her friendship no matter what
#2 for my friend who is and has been by my side since this started to "go out" with the girl he has feelings for
#3 to strengthen my soccer skills
#4 to see my friends cousin that went back to europe again
#5 to keep my promises to all my friends

she said that it is a good list of goals for me but that #1 is already done because she promises she isnt going anywere

thanks thatguy93 for reading what ive posted it means alot to me

but thanks for the feedback everyone its giving me ideas on what to expect in the future and im trying my best to hang in there, but still inviting her to do stuff like before(although im getting alot more "i cants" and "i have plans" )

if anyone else has any input please continue to add

 

 

 

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I think you should move on and quit chasing her. The more you chase and persue her the more she is likly to keep running. Try to spend more time on concentrating on other stuff to keep you ocupied. I know it seems hard to do but dont be a fraid to hang out with your friends. The more the situation gets to you the more she will do the things she is doing. Basically its her way of keeping you raped up. Dont let that happen you will only be wasting your time. Turn the table and show her that she is not your only intrest out there. And if she is so happy and in love with her boyfriend why is she spending time talking to you? I think she is just keeping you in check. I would turn the table and make her jelous.

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I havrnt seen ant more post do you have any updates on this?

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I'm sorry i haven't replied magic, thank you for your advice. I've been busy unforunatly if you have read or will read my topic in Mental & Emotional Health you would find out what has been keeping me so ocuppied. So basicly heres what happened, during January one night, I just had enough and made a promise to myself not to talk to her for as long as it took, until i didn't like her anymore... But like most girls she didn't take being ignored to well, by ignored i mean like out of school, texts, IMs, myspace that kind of stuff. I still talked to her in school to not be rude... Well one thing led to another and i honest am not sure how we wound up like this but we really don't get along to well, we occasionally talk but nothing serious and not a long conversation.... Honestly I'm not sure if him happier not having her as a friend or having her as a friend... I really just can't have a good friendship with a girl anymore for fear that i might start to like them and end up in the same position with them... Thats why i generally don't talk to her... She does ask me alot why we don' talk anymore but i don't have the heart to tell her that its because I really don't want to like her again...

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sounds like your taking steroids x3 lol jk but really just calm down about things, i know its tough dealing with someone you love in a relationship with someone else but really... theres no use in crying over her and well to be honest you should really look to find another girl to date, not saying you cant talk to this girl but it would be good to look for another girl. plus her acting weird is just cause she is a little freaked by you telling her things lol she is just probably a little confused and well she should get over it, plus stop counting the days lol you said 8 days since you told her ._. yea exact days lawl anyway well its not good to ruin a friendship by trying to be gf bf with her... but well thats about all i can tell you right now i just woke up so im really tired x.x but well sorry if i dont help but i just wanted to try and help as much as i could.

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Okay could somebody please tell me how writing like this is beneficial to mankind...... i mean it is so hard to read this kind of sentence and i really hate it when people do this......

I just have to say I don't appreciate the writing style. The period, semi-colon, comma, and "return" keys were made for a reason.

Aside from my angerosities (I'm coining a new word), I shall become a hypocrite and tell you to get over yours. I'm assuming that you are not taking a serious look toward marriage. In that case, you have time to wait. Don't ruin a friendship. Just tell her that you disapprove of her boyfriend, but don't say too much more. You could hurt her feelings.

Infatuation /= love. Remember that.

I'm not sure I completely understood the post, so forgive my seeming ignorance on the topic. I also realize the topic is rather old, but I think advice lives on.

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