JasperIk
Jan 8 2006, 03:09 AM
| | Biting my lip, trying not to cry Tears Run down my cheek I try to hide But I cant pretend any longer that deep down in side Im weak and Bitter, I cant Hold back this Frown, I try To erase it To ignore it but It just lingers I Wipe my cheek Hold my face All the while Still biting my Lip , Waiting For this pain to Surpass, but as it drifts away, I know Its my fault, like always And I know that another Is gone- wasted away Because of me, and again I lose another one So I pity myself, as always… because thats just me
I know my poem format isnt the greatest, i just kind of have no stationary way to write a poem. But the words are what is important in my opinion... |
Reply
OpaQue
Jan 8 2006, 07:46 AM
What is the title of your poem?
Reply
mama_soap
Jan 8 2006, 06:48 PM
QUOTE(JasperIk @ Jan 8 2006, 08:39 AM) I know my poem format isnt the greatest, i just kind of have no stationary way to write a poem. But the words are what is important in my opinion... Fair enough  Well, I'd still suggest you clear up the grammar and punctuation a little, and you'll be on the right track. I like the biting-my-lip image, but everything else seems a little overly angsty. That's perfectly all right if this is a personal poem, but if you're looking to get published you might have to dilute the self-pity emotion a little bit. My two cents, for whatever it's worth.
Reply
JasperIk
Jan 9 2006, 03:55 AM
My Poem doesnt have a title... I accept and respect your critisism, but there really is no way to write a poem. Sure theres the text book way on how to write a poem, but before it was a "set" way there was no right way to write a poem. I rather write what i feel, and not what others tell me to write. Pain It sweeps over me It runs through my veins It ruins me It tries to end me Pain It moves across me It grabs me It stings me It doesn’t let go Pain You’re the cause of it You’re the reason I cry You’re the reason I want to die You’re the reason I bleed Pain No one to blame I cant blame them I cant blame you I cant blame myself Pain Who causes it? Who brought it? Who will fight it? Will it over power me? Pain I won't let it It won't end me I can only end myself F--- pain I try to get out of the self pity poems...but i always end up going down that path. My writing is depressing, its something im trying really hard to work on. But i write what i like to read...
Reply
bigfatme2000
Jan 10 2006, 11:36 PM
Great poems there - well done! I wish i had talent - well i can sing in the shower (but we won't go there  ) Anyway, back on topic lol, good work - do we have permission to use that poems on the loves in our lives? I personally think they all are very good - and imaginative. You obviously have deep personalities!
Reply
mama_soap
Jan 11 2006, 02:39 AM
QUOTE(JasperIk @ Jan 9 2006, 09:25 AM) I accept and respect your critisism, but there really is no way to write a poem. Sure theres the text book way on how to write a poem, but before it was a "set" way there was no right way to write a poem. I rather write what i feel, and not what others tell me to write.
I'd never, never disagree with that  I always write what I feel as well. There's no point doing it any other way - imo - except, perhaps, if writing is you primary source of income  QUOTE(JasperIk @ Jan 9 2006, 09:25 AM) I try to get out of the self pity poems...but i always end up going down that path. My writing is depressing, its something im trying really hard to work on. But i write what i like to read... I'd suggest don't try to get out of something that comes naturally to you. Self-pity poems ain't bad at all, it's just that when you try to get them published, there's just too much competition  At least, that's my experience. Too many sad souls on the planet who also like to write poems. Nothing wrong with it at all. The only writing I really dislike is the writing which looks like the writer wasn't having fun / wasn't writing his heart out while writing it. Also, I won't deny that I can't bring myself to like excessively amateurish writing (I got a gift, it was very heavy to lift, yada yada... no, really, some one actually had a poem the began with those lines on poetry.com). By the way, writing what you like to read is generally a good idea. I'd say keep at it!  My two cents, thanks for reading.
Reply
Similar Topics
Keywords : poems- My Made Up Poems.
- (2)
- Show Off Our Created Poems
- (6)
I got the idea that we can show off our best created poems. Use any of your created poems, as many
as you want and post it. This will be fun. I'll start off with my created poems. Sky of Love:
When the sky is blue, My heart said it would be you. When the sky turned white, I knew our love
would be right. When the sky turned red, "True Love" was what you said. When the sky turned pink,
You gave your love's last wink. And, when the sky turned dark, You turned me down and broke my
heart. And finally, when the sky turned green, You were the last true love in my life,...
Poems I Wrote Years Ago
- These are very old, but are still fun to read (4)
My one and only You are all I've ever cared about. I've always just wanted you, Nothing
more, nothing less, And definately, No one else. You always made me smile, And you still make me
laugh. You understand me, You listen to me. I have always known, Whether or not, we "were too young"
I have always known it was you. You and me just make sense. You bring out the "Real" me. I want to
dance with you, I wanna sing for you. Why can't we just be, Together that is, and be a family?
If there was someway to tell you, I try, but sometimes I'm afraid. I don'...
Lady's Poems
- discuss your poems and get honest reviews (10)
Hey, I am 18 and I already have a collection of 150 poems, If I receive a positive response to this
post, I'll be sure to post my poems regularly in this topic. I really need honest reviews for my
poems from people who do not know me personally. I am considering publishing my booklet this coming
year and I could use all the help I can get thank you...
Here's Poems I Made Before For A Singer Named.
- LeAnn Rimes (3)
I made these before and I made them because LeAnn Rimes means the world to me and I made up 3 nice
poems for her. I don't know if she ever saw them but I do hoped she liked them. /biggrin.gif'
border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /> Poem #1 Whenever I am having a
bad day or bad times There is only one girl I think of And her name is LeAnn Rimes She is an
angel a sweet heart we all love And I mean it she is an angel from above She is an angel that
sings it's like listening to an angel sing only she without a pair of wings I...
My Friends Love Poems
- (1)
It is not my poems but they are my friends who is in our HK Brezno fanclub and he don't want to
quote his poems..Thanks.. It's hard to tell, what hurts more. Untold emotions or pressing
emotions down to the deep mud of neverending emptyness of depresion. Neither nor. Uniterated love it
the worst pain, that spreads its roots to the deep of the soul and whisper of the thrill flows
slowly from my body. You knew that all time long. You are the scar on my soul. You are bond of my
soul. You are unnamed forever. Just a mutter of beast inside me let me know, that I am...
Poems From An Nairobi Urbanite
- My Beer (0)
My Beer The tower of pizza that does not lean But makes men lean to it For strength and courage
while it dare not be either Through the of it ‘tis filled with cool sweet life That may turn life
hot and bitter After a meeting at its summit My beer Cross both worlds my tower may, For the
wealthy splay it in abundance And the poor dance to its tune Prove a mans worth it will But degrade
a mans soul it will The tower that does not lean My beer A vice or a virtue? The forbidden place or
a welcome home? We seek in this tower a place While we pray we would be outside it M...
Two Poems
- ^_^ (0)
By means of introduction, the first poem is impressionistic, and it's based on my experiences
with university life. The second poem attaches to an ethos of the body. They're not really
about anything; that would completely ruin the intended critical meaning. 1. An exercise, a
device, a derisive thought, Arrogance, meanness, and then death, Some of us are dreamers, and some
of us are vacant, Some of us make life an art, while others never start, We do not like these second
people or their plots, We will stand upon their graves like empty lots, We shall stand a...
My Poems Over The Years
- (0)
none of this stuff is titled, but who cares. plus, ym english teacher told us poetry should never be
worried about with capital letters etc, just to let the ideas flow. so here it is. i wont be
offended if you dont read it all but at least read one and tell me what u think! those old
hands never grow tired never seem to care about the time they're ticking away and that face
never smiles never laughs but it's not down no, it sure isn't down when tomorrow's just
a memory and next week becomes the week before last those old hands will go right on cares...
My Poems!
- Rate my poems? =) (9)
(1) Hearts arnt meant to be broken, There meant to be loved, Tears arnt meant to be spoken, There
made to gone. You weren't meant to sing that song /mad.gif" style="vertical-align:middle"
emoid=":angry:" border="0" alt="mad.gif" /> --------------------------------------- (2) Him...
Today he noticed me, He looked right at me, He made my day, From bad to good... I looked right
back, And nearly smiled, I was enjoying the while, I was having fun... I should of waved, I should
of played, I should said hello, I should of blown... But I didn't, I was enjoying...
My Angel Has Gone - My Poems
- (2)
when you come to my life give me a new soul give me a ne life and now you has gone leave me but im
not cry i cant forget you my angel...
Poems Made By Request
- Including short lines for sigs (0)
Everyone here seems so willing to give their gorgeous artwork. Me, I hate my drawing (Although
I'm slowly recognizing this is due more to perfectionism that me being honestly HORRIBLE;
I'm still only average, though.) and I've just started image modification, so sigs are still
in the future. But one thing I can do: WRITE! ^-^ So, here's my offer! You want
something poetic written, PM me or drop a request in this topic. Replies will be given in the same
manner, unless requested otherwise. For my personal stuff, I tend towards a freeform style. ...
Poems
- yes I write poems.... (7)
These are love poems written by me... Love is the dance my heart does, to the music of you.
You're the melody...The rythm...The magic The meaning in my life. Here's another.
You're the song I love to play over and over, The movie I'll never get tired of, The novel I
can't put down, You're the only one I'll ever love....
Multiple Poems
- some copyrighted (0)
removed...
3 In One:d
- Three poems in one topic :D! (2)
Ok i know i did not spell a lot of words right but still.. tell me what you think of them.. it took
a lot of time to make just the 3 not to menchon all the 20 others i have... #1. To day, I went
awway, fair fair away, my mined could only say, come back dont go away, no not to day, people need
you to stay, so now i stay, just for today, and then i will cumence my self, to the death that i
misses, because of my self. #2. As i sit in this lonly box, with no air, no holes, and no light,
i wait for you, to unclock my way out, out of this lonly dark hole, to take me hom...
A Few Poems
- (0)
Well me having a stab at poetry! No titles as of yet! Poem 1 -------- Wanting illegal by
all means haunting sometimes in my dreams I lusted for the physical for the untrusted The killer
of my friends the killer of my heart the beginning of ends the end of my art So I sit and wonder
what shall I do? would be a blunder would be blue I'd lose all that I serve all that I have all
that I observe Should I embrace that which is hated most? if I did I'd forever be a ghost From
my friend he would say "I can't believe you.. get away!" So I will for...
A Collection
- Various Poems (1)
I wrote some of these a year ago when i was completely down and out. I have more, but i work alot
and don't have time to type them up. But i will eventually. Anywho, i hope you all enjoy them.
I'd also like to thank my good friend D.C. Evers on helping me with a couple. The Apple
It was sweet, the taste, Cool in my mouth, yet warm also. Such a delicious fruit, the apple, And in
so many ways erotic. Those seeds, shot from my mouth, The skin;peeled,crashing to the floor. I hate
the apples skin. The juice from the apple made my mouth yearn for more, And ...
Wales
- poems about Wales (1)
Any poems you wrote abote wales ...
Some Poems
- from 6th grade, don't laugh... (2)
I wrote these in 6th grade, now, I had the mind of a 6th grader, and I'm not too happy with
them, they're supposed to be Patriotic, it was an assignment after 9/11... Haiku: Dieing in
service. Saving other people’s lives. Hoping for countries. Haiku: Having a service. For all who
have died in war. Felling hope for them. Haiku: Sprinting for shelter. Others dieing for your own.
Hoping for others. Haiku: Jumping for your life. Hoping for your will to live. Wishing for others.
Haiku: Peace is within us. Peace for everyone around. Peace for all who lives. I thi...
My Newest Poem :d
- Poem's name is the last word in it... (5)
I was noticing I already posted my good poems here so I decided to write another one /biggrin.gif'
border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /> I just wrote this now in about the
last 5 or 10 minutes /biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' />
Enjoy /biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /> What all
think they've got And so many do not It's life's biggest must Don't confuse it with
lust Any heart it can thaw Fulfils God's moral Law You can give to the poor...
One Of My Poems
- a poem.... (2)
Look into my eyes and see what is to know, that Angels cry and sing for you till the years of yoe,
Follow your heart and look inside to see what life may be, for as you know life is woe, but as it
all comes around, we see what we should know, that life itself is full of joy, and that you will
always know....
Poems
- Where Good Poems are Located (1)
/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /> There are GOOD poems
located on Migente.com Of course you would have to become a memeber to actually look at them but the
registrstion is simple and free....
Poems I Wrote
- Hope you like them. (0)
Some were entered in to contests at in my community, First Class Crash won and Kerry Placed as well.
Enjoy! Here are some poems i wrote for a contest. They suck i cant find the orginals they are
funny. Theses are just lame in my opinion, but maybe you guys will like them. Purple Color Poem
Purple is fun Purple has won Purple isn’t black And it is coming back Purple is the color of the
dart That punctured John Kerry’s heart Purple is grand Purple is the color of my living room fan
Purple is dark Purple is mean Purple is steady Purple is green Kerry is Not Merry ...
My Poems
- (4)
as you all will probably figure out because they are not the best...i wrote these. take in mind i
kno they are not good. but they are how i feel You make me happie You don't realize it, but
u do U just being around me makes me smile 1 hug from you brightens my day you make me happie like
no 1 else can You don't even kno the joy u bring to my life All the frowns u turn to smiles
You're always on my mind You make me happie And u don't even kno it. . . Don't worry
about the little things. . Don't worry about what people will say. . . Have fun...
2 Poems Of Mine
- (5)
Perfect: I've been in search Night after night For the perfect words To describe how right It
feels to be with you And how wonderfull you make me feel how somehow i just knew That this love is
real How you're all i think about And i miss you when you're gone how i have no doubt That
next to you is where i belong But words could never prove How committed i am to you So all i can do
Is offer this simple poem to you More then you know: Eyes like the sky One look and time flies
by I feel the warmth of your face As i begin to trace Every line, every scar Th...
A Poem
- I LIKE SAD POEMS, SAD LK TIRED, LOL (0)
THERE IS A COLD WIND BLOWING AND SOMEONE IS LEAVING CLOSE THE DOOR ON YOUR WAY OUT THE WIND IS
BRINGING TEARS TO MY EYES WHEN YOU YOU ARE GOOOOONE I WOULD FORGET HOW YOU USED TO TELL ME I LOVE
YOU FOREVER MY DARLIING I HOPE U LIKE IT /tongue.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle'
alt='tongue.gif' /> ...
A Few Of My Extremely Crappy Poems
- (11)
This first one is about self-injury. I wrote it when I was still struggling to stop.. Most of you
probably wont understand, but maybe someone here will (and by that i mean.. maybe a self-injurer
will run across it).. if so PM me. /smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle'
alt='smile.gif' /> I'd like to talk to you. lol. A Cutters Mind My hands are shaking. In my
left hand I hold a cigarette, and in my right I hold a razor. I lower the razor to the flesh of my
leg with my trembling hand as I inhale a puff of smoke to calm my nerves. Blood flows down m...
Love Poems Some
- for Valentines Day (3)
If I Knew If I knew how to write a song I’d write one everyday It would say that I’m in love with
you And why I feel this way It would have to say you’re pretty And as rare as a desert rose It
would say you’re a looker From your head down to your toes You are funny, dainty, fragile And as
feminine as can be You’re smart charming lovely And everything to me You’re my comfort when I’m
lonely You’re my peace when I need rest Of all the women I’ve known I must rate you the best.
You’re the orchard in the jungle, you’re the better half of me You’re all of this and so muc...
A Few Poems
- (7)
A Spoon (or When Ambition Abandons Reason) Why do we seek A silver spoon, (which is a moon that
heaven hides) And follow a ladel as our guide? When do the meek Make wax wings fly, Just to try,
Our spirit's mind But in doing so --have we left the world behind? ___ What Will You See
Look at the sky, what do you see? Ten thousand stars and seven moons, Yet none have noticed me.
Look at the sky, what do you see? Nebula seas and astral dunes, Yet none need notice me. Look at
the sky, what will you see? A new word carved in starlit runes, For that star will be me...
Some Writings O' Mine
- Poems and the like. (11)
Blah....
Looking for poems, wrote
|
|
Searching Video's for poems, wrote
|
advertisement
|
|