Painfull Times

well, i've been trying to keep busy the best way i know how. i am not gonna go in to detail right now....but i am going through a VERY difficult time right now. all my trust and belief and faith has been sacrificed and taken advantage of in a most serious way

when i went to drive from missouri to california for a few days, my truck broke down in ok haha i have been sitting here in this motel room for 6 days. truck needs a new engine. spark plug in the ford truck evidently burnt a hole inside where the spark plug goes inside. i never heard of tat before but was told i was lucky that the truck didn't catch on fire. heck wish it did. i would rather take the insurance money than pay 2k for another engine.

anyway.....man.....life sure is testing me right now. i've been through hard times before and this ranks up there within the top three worse times of my life

what happened to me leaves me questoning people now and wondering what is real and what is not real.

i just wanted to post quickly my depression right now. will probably go in to detail in another thread about it soon. who knows. i am usually quiet and don't like being negative or depressed but this crap is just so huge and unreal and hurtfull....

so anyway, been trying to keep busy as i find it helps but i get bored easily and i certainly don't want to concentrate on the b.s. right now.

i bought some beer so i will be drinking that tonight....weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!! haha grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!

maybe i will come back online later as drunk anwiii heheheh

 

 

 

Comment/Reply (w/o sign-up)

wait i don't really understand. so what is making you so upset? is it the fact that you need a new engine? and if you are feeling really upset what you should do is just talk to some friends and get drunk as you said you were going to do so well done .

everyone gets upset sometimes but you'll get over it very soon. I'm never upset for more than a day because there is always fun things to do and there are always friends and there is always food!

can you explain to me in more detail what is making you so upset.

Comment/Reply (w/o sign-up)

something someone did to me that goes against everything i am...took advantage in deceiving and betrayel. and no. i will have a problem getting over this one. i dunno, i think i just may be an idiot....

Comment/Reply (w/o sign-up)

You cant always stay angry at things that happen in LIFE, And you always have to have Belive and HOPE, at most of all if you LoVE someone you hafta forgive!!!
And theres nuttin in life that is worth giving up... And sometime you have to give People a chance to explaine them selfs, and maybe the reason ur truck broke down is becuz it was telling you something... That you are headin in the wrong directions.... Maybe you should drink a few beers and think about things and Go call a friend and talk things over, its always better to talk to someone and let them know HOW you really feel... I hope you day gets better....

 

 

 

Comment/Reply (w/o sign-up)

Awiii, It sounds to me that you are havin woman problem's, You know Men will never understand woman... But you must 1st think be 4 you ever run out the door, no matter what OUR woman will always be there for us no matter what!!! Have you ever thought that maybe ur truck was a woman also?? LOL And you didnt know how to understand it either??? So instead of being lonley and depress in a motel, drink a few and call someone you LOVE!!! Or someone that LOVES you.... So Awiii i wish you the best my friend, i have been down that road many of times, and its not good to be by ursure and depressed, and after being married for 30 yrs i still dont understand MY WIFE OR MY TRUCK!!! Good luck!!

Comment/Reply (w/o sign-up)

you speak wise words there. i do believe things happen for a reason so if the truck breaking down was supposed to make me think or mean something, i kinda believe in that. problem is, i hve forgive many times in the past for things that have been dispicable. forgiving is easy for me. getting hurt all the time is not. it's crushing and what has been done to me in the past and part of the present is overwhelming where it's not leaving me in a happy place. one of the most important things in life is happiness. people need to be happy with themselves and in their life. i am happy with myself and who i am but my circumstances that i have chosen don't leave me too happy. now i am not really angry unless i am meant to feel that i am wrong to feel this way and the person who hurt me wants me to make light of it like nothing really happened. but it did. several things happened actually. as far as talking to friends about it, usually i shy away from that because they will never understand why i put myself in certain positions to get hurt but i have talked to my parents about it and i hope it's not something i regret. they are very opinionated in their own ways and usualy guides people in how they would live, not how each individual is meant to live. yea, tonight i will be drinking the last of my beers haha.

oh and btw- i always have belief and hope but right now, i have been so hurt that the belief and hope and faith has faded. i think i need to work on myself gettin' stronger here before i can offer belief and hope to others. may sound selfish, but i am far from that. i am not perfect, but being unselfish is one of my better qualities haha

thanks for that response. was short but had a lot of meaning behind the words...

Comment/Reply (w/o sign-up)