Tralalalala, hello everyone.

So....I never thought I would be one of those guys in an on-again off-again relationship and such, but apparently I am. Basically my sometimes girlfriend can't decide if she wants to be with me or not... she goes to a college about 20 minutes away, and her dorm mates are jealous or something and tell her that she shouldn't be with me...and her ex-boyfriend works at the same store as she does, so she has to see him every day, and still has feelings for him, I s'pose. I also have my own issues because I don't have a car and I work 6 days a week for 6-8 hours, and she works and goes to school, so I can't always go see her, and I just got a new job because I didn't really have money to pay for things with her...

Basically she just can't decide on things. She knows that I'm trying my best to make her happy, and she's trying to get over her friends and ex...but I dunno, it just seems like she's procrastinating on actually doing it. Or something like that.

Anyway, does anyone have ideas/suggestions/input/comments?

 

 

 

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The person who knows her best is, well, her. I would do everything that I could to go see her. Go someplace quiet and free of distractions so that the two of you can talk. She might have something on her mind. Or she might not realize that you're seeing a potential problem. Talking is the best way to figure out what's going on and make sure that both of you are on the same page, so to speak.

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Oh, no, she realizes it. We've been talking about it for a few weeks now.

And I'd love to hang out with her, but I've been working like crazy, and she's really sick right now [wouldn't let me see her yesterday because of it.]

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I'd say what I always do in these kind of situations, that is, let her go be indecisive somewhere else and get on with your own life - for godsakes! Sounds like she's on the young and immature side (and most of us are pretty immature at that age). Really, who needs the headache of a "relationship" when just starting out in life? Wait till you're established in a career and bringing in enough income to support a family before going after a woman. Remember, education and income first, then the relationship. Folks often screw themselves up pretty bad in life when they do things backward. Or maybe you don't want anything serious right now? I think that's what lots of folks think before they end up saddled with debt and children before they're ready.

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lol, no, no, trust me. I have no plans of a family/children/even marriage for years to come. We just have a nice relationship going, nothing too serious.

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Well, in my most humble experience, *ahem* modesty aside*cough*, you will be better off (long-term) to drop the relationship.
Nothing worse then the uncertainty that develops in this situation. You don't know from minute to minute if you are in or out of the relationship, the required trust is gone, one of you starts thinking differently about the whole deal and *stuff* happens.

My recommendation, anyway, for what it is worth.

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Good points and duly noted, Jim.

I've really been considering just dropping it, and discussed that with her. I think we both want it to work, but she's just not ready. I wanted to wait a little while longer to see if anything would change, but it doesn't look like anything has/will for the time being.

Maybe it's still an option later on? Or maybe I should just find someone else... I'm not sure.

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The first quote, from what i get from it, implies that you're not really fond of on-and-off relationships. The second quote, from what i get from it, implies that you are thinking about keeping this on-and-off pattern alive. Am i translating this correctly? Which one is it, do you wanna keep the pattern going or stop it from continuing? You two can still remain friends, if that's possible, after agreeing to call it off all together. She might just go hook up back with her ex if you call it off, and i wouldn't be so quick into finding another person. If the relationship seems like the pattern is going to continue, then i guess you should call it off.

 

 

 

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Well, I meant "maybe it's still an option" as in the relationship in general....the on and off business is out of the question.

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Can't get more simple. Say to her, you either want to be with me or you don't. Tell her how you feel, do this while sitting somewhere quiet ad not going o be left stranded and she isn't going to feel intimated. Guys and Girls don't need that kind of *BLEEP* from there partners, it suits them, but it stuffs up the lives of those partners.

I didn't think the world would get to a sitiuation where thinking of another persons feelings/thoughts would be something spoken in past tense. I see however that it is becomming more and more common, is it so hard to decide weather you want to have a relationship with someone or not? If, you have slight doubts thn why not give it a go, and see where you end up, unless your talking marriage with is another kettle of fish.

I guess my adive to you, would be to think along the lines of the cliche of "Plenty more fish in the sea..." and put the altermatom (sp?) to her, and say its either a relationship or not? Of course if you love her then you need to show the grestest of times before hand, but also be yourself, tell her your working 100 different jobs to to support yourself and buy her things and take places and make a life for your future relationship. But, ultimly like truefusion said, make up your mind on what you want and stick to it.

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