So here's a question for the group....how do you know if you are obsessed?.....I mean, I actually know that I have OCD (not bad-but not exactely slight either).....I have been broken up with a girl for about 9 months.....I consider it more like five months, but I think she would disagree....I think, maybe, that's what makes it so much easier for her to disconect herself from the situation....We were together four and a half years (it would've been five years in three weeks) and I treated her like crap for most of the lenght of our relationship....I think the fact that she had months to process the breakup (and technically was the one who made the decision) it makes it easier for her to 'move on'......The problem I have now is that I have NO CONTROL over the situation at all and its drivin me nuts....This is a situation that I am definitely not accustomed to....All I keep thinking about are the good things...I keep having these flashes of memory that remind me of her - a car ride in college there, our first apartment, intimate moments, pet names, argggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!.........It's drivin me nuts....I don't want to think or feel this way....The truth of the matter is that we didn't have a good relationship...We deeply care for each other, but probably were not meant to be together.....We didn't like any of the same things....We fought often....We had no sex life....etc. etc. etc...........But there was definitely deep seeded love there (for whatever reason)....even after we broke up we believed we were soul mates.....Its so weird to know she is gone from my life forever and I can't do anything about it.....THe only hope I have of even knowing her (at all) is to completely leave her alone and hope that eventually she comes to me....That would require me to stop thinking about her every single second of the day........She hasn't been a part of my life for almost three months......I really just want to stop thinking about her....I am constantly looking over my shoulder, checking my phone,etc.....Every so often she is in town visiting friends of mine that she made when we were together, which makes it even more painful...I keep having visions of her hooking up with one of them.......I want to injure them SOOOOOOOOOOO badly.....break a car window, or a leg, or an arm....I know its irrational, but I feel like it would almost make me feel better....Like give me some of the control back or something.........Help, I need some advice.

 

 

 

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Are you wanting to get over her or looking at ways to get back with her? I think you need to chill out and take a holiday somewhere and meet new people. If you treated her badly then you have no one but yourself to blame. It does however seem like you had some memoriable moments. I suggest you get out more often and meet new people, or talk with her, if she wants to talk to you and not sitting there waiting for her to come to you, try and do something that shows that you may have changed and are willing to make the relationship work next time around.

What made your relationship soo bad??

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you are crazy, but do what you want to do anyway or you will mad.

Go and find her, say what you said here, tell what you are thinking to her. GO!!

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IT won't matter what I say....I have said most (if not all) of this already...she wont' take me back...and I do go out....my life is outwardly normal....I have plenty of friends and family.....I have a good job....I just can't stop thinking about her and its driving me mad...I don't want to seem crazy...I just don't know what else to do.......My relationship was bad for the reasons I listed in the first post....no sex life...I was a dickhead....we didn't have anything in common....etc.....I just need some advice on how to cope mentally

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There is no such adive on how to cope mentality with kind of stuff. You either accept it and move on or you don't. All you can keep trying to do is live a normal life and get your feelings straight. No point dating other people if all your going to think about is her, but you meet forget her if you start dating other people, see how it's a major loop?

If you don't want to get her back and move on with life, then accept that fact and find someone that is million times better then her and move with your life, soon you''ll reliese you haven't heard, seen, thought about her in many years!!

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