Need Advice

Samuel

Apr 30 2006, 04:27 AM

How can I get a girlfriend? No girls liked me at school and I am a little shy.Please do not give advice saying"just ask some out' or something like that.

'

snlildude87

Apr 30 2006, 04:40 AM

Well, I'm not going to say, "ask someone out," but I will say something very similar.

Start talking to someone. Try talking to a person of the opposite sex. It doesn't matter the age if you're just beginning. I recommend that you don't talk to someone your age when you're starting out since you'll be all nervous. Instead, talk to a little girl or an old woman. Have you noticed that when you talk to someone that cannot (and will not) be your girlfriend, stuff just comes out smoother? That's the kind of mindset you need to have when talking to someone your age. Just think to yourself that you have nothing to lose, and go from there. When you think like that, you don't seem as nervous to the girl, and girls dig (and can sense) confidence.

DaRealChrono

May 2 2006, 05:04 PM

Yeah what the guy who posted before said is completly true. Just because your shy doesn't mean you can't talk, I personally think it's better to start out shy in the dating scene then to just come out and asking whoever out. If your just looking for a girlfriend then you ought not have too many problems since your not trying to get serious. The best thing to do in my opinion, and what I did was listen, find someone your interested in, or just sit around people. When they start talking about things that your interested in just jump in and say whatever, which is the basic way to make friends, and as you make friends girls come along with it, that hang around the type of people you hang around then you'll start talking to them without really even knowing it. Eventually you'll find the confidence to ask someone out, or someone will ask you out...Really it's all about meeting people, that's about the best way I can explain how I went through it, it's pretty much waiting for the oppurtunities, eventually it'll come about and you could very well be sitting in a long term realtionship. I've been with my girlfriend nearly 10 months and I never even really talked to her because I was scared, but eventually I just started chiming in on conversation and then we clicked and wha-lah...

With however you do it just don't forget the worst that can happen is you get a "no"

dazappa

May 7 2006, 02:50 AM

Yes you pretty much have to overcome being shy to get a girlfriend. Main thing is be yourself. You've probably heard that a lot, but it's completely true. Nobody is going to like someone who lies, because eventually your are going to be found out and most likely dumped. Compliment the one you're after, or your girlfriend. Begin to show her you care about her life, listen intently when she talks to you. Make sure you remember her birthday especially. Try to surprise as much as you can. Plan special things together, like a private fishing trip. Get to know her.

DogEater008

May 7 2006, 07:44 AM

my best advice to you is; gain some confident. I seriously doubt that you will think making post asking advice on how to get a girlfriend will help. Probably as one of a desperate things that people do in their life.

From my experience, there are many different type of people out there. I sometimes amaze how some of the most lame and biggest losers at my school are able to get a girlfriend. It's not that their girlfriend are hot or anything, but they will manage to find one that they like. I'm not calling you a loser, but there are girls for every type of guys.

Making yourself different and unique from other people, but not so different that they think you're a complete freak. Just show your good things about yourself that most others don't have. Things that can impress a girl, not skills like putting a piece of noodles through your nose and make it coming out through your mouth. You can do that later on if you know the person well and they are comfortable with it. But it's not a good idea for the first impression.

Impression counts, dress decent, but don't overdress or else people will say you are trying too hard. Even if you are the most desperate guys in the whole world, don't let anyone know. Don't doubt yourself and lower your self-esteem.

No matter how lame your personality is, don't show it. Remember, first impression always count. For example, if you like anime and you're talking with a girl, don't start bring up anime subject. Always show your cool traits first; there is nothing wrong with liking anime. You just have to save those things later and slowly show your not-so-cool traits later. You just need to get a hold of her heart, then no matter how nerdy some of your hoobies are, she won't mind.

All girls are different, learn alittle bit about them before making your moves. There are a lot of things that impress one girl but not the other. Thus, you need to adjust the way your talk to them, adjust the way you present yourself, adjust your view in opinion.

I know this might sound like you're not being yourself at all. But adjusting your self is still being yourself. You just need to know what you should say and shouldn't say to different girl. Some get offended off a trivial matter, some doesn't even care if you just insulted their family up to their 18th generation of their family history.

Make jokes, mean jokes would be fine, but make sure she knows that your joking. Always pull off every joke you made with a big laugh so that she knows it's a joke and not get offended. THere are such cases where you and she knows that it's a joke, but she still get offended. So limit your joke to a certain level. Like i said before, find out what kind of person she is, and adjust your level of joking.

The meaner your relationship with that person is, the more comfortable you're with them and vice versa. In most case, i think girls would feel comfortable in this way. If you are always too prolite to them or keep compliment everything she does, the more uncomfortable she would probably get and would think you're just lie your *arse* off even if you didn't intentionally.

If you are feeling like you always have to impress her, then most likely you're not very confident or comfortable with her. In most case, this kind of relationships don't work out as well. You might not conciously feel it, but you might have felt inferior to her. When dating girls, make sure you date her with your pride too. I know this is wrong to say, but to gain confident, you need to always make that person feel like they are the one that likes you more than you like them. Or else you will never get over with the inferity thing.

LIke most people stated above, if you are shy, try to practice on talking to more girls. Just make some female friends and talk to them. Tell them jokes, adjust the way you talk to them, etc. Best thing to get your self-esteem up is to basically try to flirt with all your female friends and try to make them at least have a good impresson on you or to make them realize that you can be cute/manly and would consisder dating you. Of course, this would be good too since if there are ever a girl that ever think you're hot or cute, your friend then naturally will say good things about you, because they know you so well.

But of course there are downfall to that, making too many female friends can sometimes be bad because: first, they might thing you're around with so many girls and even though they like you, it would hard for them to compete with the girls that you're around with; second, your female friends might naturally think you're more on the feminie than muscline; thrid, people might infer that you are trying too hard to impress all the girls and don't have times for making guys friends.

IF you care too much about looks, you need to accept the fact that there arn't that many good looking girls out there that can match your personality. Don't look down on yourself because everyone around you always seem to be in a reatlionship. In contrast of that, don't be too arrogant or overly confident. THis will just make the girls hate you and think you're a *BLEEP*.

LOL, it amazes me how i could sit and type all these things. Lol, I guess you could call all of these as a theory because i have never really proven it, yet. And one last bit of advice, if you're in high school or during your last year as a junior high student, you might want to start looking for a more manly hobby or anime show to watch than... pokemon (your avatar). It might seem to childish.

Lol, i just noticed, ahaha. .this set of theories are actually dating girls that imagine their boyfriend as a cool and manly guy. I guess there would have to be a completely different set of theories for girls that prefer cuteness over coolness, but sadly, i don't think there are that many girls that prefer cuteness over coolness.

You can be cool and have a little of childishness too.

AHAHA. anyways, good look on your quest of getting a girlfriend.

Dragonfly

May 7 2006, 07:53 AM

As I said earlier, there is no fast and hard rule even for having a girlfriend. I have seen and experience that everyone has their own time to have a girlfriend. Don't try too hard. When your time comes you will find that you are all over it and you will also know that girls are all over you. It's all about time.

So, my advice is don't try hard just wait your time to come.

heavensounds

May 7 2006, 08:29 AM

Yeah I mostly agree with the answers above. The things is in practice or lets say experience! If you won't start talking to oposite sex than there will always be a myth around it in your head.

From my own experience, I was a very shy guy and i cannot say that now I am not shy anymore, but I learned through all these years that you can overcome that and now if I say to a good female friend of mine that once I was a very veeeery shy person, she won't believe me - I managede to get the necessary self-esteem and you should do that too.

Girls are very interesting creatures;) and you'll have to look for signs if one of them likes you...Certainly there are girls in your class or something, that are easier to talk to - go to them or go home together or something..

If you want to become less shy, the only thing you can do is say to yourself: I AM COOL, I HAVE NOTHING TO LOOSE AND THERE IS CERTAINLY A GIRL THAT FITS ME OUT THERE!

Good luck mate

boyCradle

May 7 2006, 12:35 PM

I suggest doing good at your academics. Some girls are attracted to boys who excel at school. They would come to you for help regarding school works and school assignments. that way you can get close to them, and be friends with them.

But do not be the so seroius type, be funny sometimes. Check the internet for best jokes and these would make the girls laugh. they love funny guys too!

Sive

Nov 13 2006, 04:18 AM

QUOTE(Samuel @ Apr 29 2006, 11:27 PM)

How can I get a girlfriend? No girls liked me at school and I am a little shy.Please do not give advice saying"just ask some out' or something like that.
'

mabe find out why they dont like you,then when you find out at lest you'll know why they are not interested.

An if absolutly no girl likes you at your school mabe you should try and meet a girl that dosent go to you're school.

greentea-pocky

Nov 23 2006, 03:26 AM

You need confidence and that charisma girls look for in guys. Dont be shy but also dont be annoying either. Like when you see a girl maybe sitting beside you in class, start a converstion! but remember when there is the right time and what to noe what to talk about. Maybe if she needs help or something be there to help her out. Dont forget to smile!! =D

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