These are a few Ya mama jokes I heard when I was a kid. Ya mama's so poor, she has to use a
fork with cereal to save on milk:P Ya mama's so poor, when I saw her kicking a can, I asked her
what she was doing and she said she was moving. Ya mama's so poor, when I stepped on a
cigarrete on the ground, she said why did you get rid of my heat. blah, that's all i can think
of for now,. I'll write more when I think of them /tongue.gif' border='0'
style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tongue.gif' /> ...

QUOTE Types of computer viruses Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore. Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant
for ten years. Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back. AT&T
virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting. The MCI virus: Every
three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus. Bill Clinton
virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure wha...

Source: off a email, and thought I may share this. A few of the new error messages that were taken
under consideration during the development of the Windows XP operating system... • Smash forehead
on keyboard to continue. • Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. • BREAKFAST.SYS
halted... Cereal port not responding. • Close your eyes and press escape three times. • File not
found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) • Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User. • Enter any
11-digit prime number to continue. • Bad command or file name! Go stand in the...

A man walks into a bar swinging a set of jumper leads above his head. The barman looks over and says
"You're not going to start anything in here, mate!" Three strings walk into a bar. The
bartender throws them out, yelling "Can't you read the sign?! I don't serve strings."
The strings try again, and again the bartender kicks them out. Finally, one of the strings gets the
idea to mess himself up a little. He walks into the bar. The bartender scowls, "What's wrong
with you? Can't you read? I don't serve strings!" The string replies, ...

Well, my "Grandma" e-mailed this to me today and i thought it was rather funny, so i am going to
share it with everyone here i suppose QUOTE A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's
going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the
lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several
cabs - and I was in the wrong one. A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed
performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a ...

ok sorry if some of these offend you. 1. Why are there no olymics in Mexico? -
Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim is over here 2. What do you call all the lawyers under
the sea? - A perfect ending Sorry i cant think of many right now.... Credit
reduced. ...

A bus crashes full of ugly people. They all go to heaven. God says they have one wish each. The
first one wishes he is beautiful. The man at the back of the line laughs for a bit. The second one
wishes the same as the first one. The man at the back laughs again. This goes on until it comes the
the guy at the end who is rolling with laugher. God says him "what do you wish for?". He says "for
all the people who wished to be beautiful to be ugly again". woman’s husband comes home hammered
every night and she always yells at him before going to bed alone. One day she deci...

> > A blonds driving down the motorway and her husbandrings her up. He tells her that he's
been listening to the radio and that there's a maniac driving down the wrong side of the
motorway. She replies " No there's not, there hundreds driving down the wrong way (in case you
dont get it: she's the one driving down the wrongside of the motorway) Keep the jokes PG
rated. ...

There are 10 kinds of people in the world the ones who understand binary, and the ones who dont!
/tongue.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tongue.gif' /> ...

Okay here goes nothing: An alien walks into a bar and sits down next to a jok. Alien licks his
finger and puts it into the joks ear. Jok gets mad and ignores him. Alien does it again. Jok does
nothing. Alien does it again and the jok does nothing. Alien does it again and the jok says " If you
do that again I will beat you." Alien does it again. Jok picks him up and kicks him in the nuts.
Alien gets up and sits back down next to the jok. Jok says "What the... I kicked you in the nuts."
Alien says "I don't have any nuts." Joks says "Well than how do you have sex?" A...

Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" a bit more
entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: "As we prepare for
takeoff, please make sure your tray tables and seat backs are fully upright in their most
uncomfortable position." "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of
this airplane." "Your seat cushions can be used for floatation, and in the event of an emergency
water landing, please take them with our compliments." "We do feature a smoking section on this ...

Q. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? A. Frosted Flakes Q. What do you call a dumb blonde
behind a steering wheel? A. An airbag. Q. How can you tell a blonde has had a bad day? A. She has a
tampon tucked under her ear and she can't find her pencil. Q. What does the Bermuda Triangle
and a blonde have in common? A. They both swallowed a lot of semen. Q. What's the difference
between a blonde and an ironing board? A. Its difficult to open the legs on an ironing board. Q.
How did the blonde burn her nose? A. Bobbing for chips. Q. What do you call a zit o...

Kissing And Slap A Nepali guy, an Indian guy, a beautiful girl and an old woman are sitting in a
train. The train suddenly goes thru a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there was a
kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. The old woman, beautiful girl
and the Indian guy are sitting there looking perplexed. The Indian guy is bent over holding his
face, which is red from an apparent slap. The old woman is thinking: That Indian guy must have tried
to kiss that girl and got slapped. The Indian guy is thinking: "Damn it, that Nepali g...

A lady who was known as Churchill's main rival in parliament was giving a speech. Churchill,
with his usual enthusiasm for his rival, dozed off while the lady was speaking. She stopped her
speech and awoke Sir Winston by yelling, "Mr. Churchill, must you sleep while I talk?" Churchill
sleepily replied, "No, ma'am. I do so purely by choice." Attorney: "At the scene of the
accident, did you tell the constable you had never felt better in your life?" Farmer: "That's
right." Attorney: "Well, then, how is it that you are now claiming you were seriously injured ...

These are actual directions found on certain products around the world! 1. Directions found on
a bag of frito corn chips. "You could be a winner!!! No purchase
neccessary!!! Details inside!" you think to your self (Shoplifters special)
2. On Tesco's Tiramisu Desert (directions on bottom) "Do not turn upsode down" (Too late)
3. On Marks & Spncers Bread Pudding. "Product will be hot after heating" (Just as day follows
night) 4. On most kinds of christmas lights. "Indoor and outdoor uses ONLY" (As opposed t...

The Pope and the Queen of England are on the same stage at an Anglican and Catholic commemoration of
the Anglo-Irish accords - the crowd is huge in the thousands. Her Majesty and His Holiness,
can't help but have a little rivalry - both being heads of churches and all. The Queen says to
the Pope, "Did you know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every English person in
the crowd go wild?" He doubts it, so she shows him. Sure enough, the royal-gloved wave elicits
rapture and cheering from every Englishman in the crowd. Gradually, the cheering subsi...

A Blonde's New Job A blonde who had been unemployed for several months got a job with Public
Works. She was to paint lines down the center of a rural road. The supervisor told her that she was
on probation and that she must stay at or above the set average of two miles per day to remain
employed. The blonde agreed to the conditions and started right away. The supervisor checking up at
the end of the day, found that the blonde had completed four miles on her first day, double the
average! "Great," he told her, "I think you're really going to work out." The ...

I like this one: A lawyer is seated next to a blonde on the airplane. He asks her if she'd
like to play a fun game, but the blonde, who just wants to get some sleep, politely declines and
rolls the other way. Not to be deterred, the lawyer wakes her. "It's really fun! We ask
each other questions and if one of us doesn't know the answer, they have to pay the other!"
The blonde declines again. The lawyer, who figures he'll make a small fortune if he can just get
the blonde to play, wakes her again. "Hey, I'll make it easy for you. If you don&...

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if
she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines
and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is
easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you
pay me $5.00, and vise versa. "Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now
agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00,...

You Are A Bad Cook If... - The last time you tried to make toast the kitchen caught on fire -
Your apple pie bubbled over and ate the enamel off the bottom of the oven. - You make tuna noodle
broccoli surprise for your family and the surprise is that it glows in the dark! - Your
homemade bread can be used as a door stop. - The leftover crumbs make a great replacement for
kitty litter. - Those annoying pest control companies keep pestering you, wanting to buy and
patent your recipe for candy Christmas cookies. - You forget and leave a gallon of your home...

>SUPER BABY > >A baby was born so advanced in development he could talk. >He looked around the
delivery room and saw the doctor. "Are you my doctor?" he asked. >"Yes, I am," said the doctor.
>The baby said, "Thank you for taking such good care of me during the birth." >He looked at his
mother and asked, "Are you my mother?" >"Yes, dear, I am," said the mother, beaming. >"Thank you
for taking such good care of me before I was born," he said. >He then looked at his father and
asked, "Are you my father?" >"Yes, I am," his father proudly answered. >The baby motion...

Talking Clock: While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the
way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is
the talking clock," the guy replied. "How's it work?" the friend asked. "Watch," the student
said then proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly someone
screamed from the other side of the wall, "KNOCK IT OFF, YOU JERK! It's 2 AM!"
Here's another joke: A guy comes walking into a bar with a turtle in his hand. The t...

Anyone watch anime? I do, lol, my favorite anime would have to be...., well, heres a small list 1.
Serial Experiments Lain 2. Love hina 3. Trigun 4. GTO 5. Tenchi Muyo (all of the series) I LOVE
!!!WASHU!!! 6. Outlaw Star 7. .Hack//Sign 8. Dual 9. Prinsess Monanoke (i
cant spell it, and its a movie) 10. Spirited Away (movie)...