So my girl friend and I have been dating for about a year now, and for the longest time she was my world. I set aside so much of my life for her, wether it was the fact that her religion is considered by the members of my religion to be a plague to ours. I've also had to deal with many issues with her parents and so forth, such as them taking her cell phone away for a month, not allowing her on the internet, and such so we basically couldn't see each other for that entire month. Infact, that was really recent, it ended on Sunday.

But after getting to be able to talk to each other again, which might I add has been nearly endless until the times set by her parents. But the more and more I talk to her, I begain to feel less attracted to her. Mind you, I haven't actually been with her that entire month except for maybe 2 or 3 times, but even then it was only visiting her at work.

And I don't know why I feel less attracted to her. I don't ever want to lose her, she was the best thing that ever happened to me, and probably the most beautiful girl I've ever fallen in love with, who feels the same way, and yet, slower and slower I'm losing interest with her. Our phone calls, as long as they are, are no where's nears as thoughtful or fun as they were before the month, and our internet conversations are suffering as well.

So, I ask of you all to maybe give me suggestions on things to do to spice things up, I do get to see her on Thursday ( her birthday) and that saturday ( Birthday Party), but I just don't want to go and not feel the way I used to about her.

Thanks for listening,
Steve

 

 

 

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well i been in several relationships like that they have their ups and downs but if you can fight through the rough side of a relationships then the good stuff will come.

With the time gap you mentioned yeah that happens sometimes, best thing to do is do stuff that makes the relationship better, do wild and crazy stuff to spark it up again (95% of the wild and crazy stuff that has nothing to do with sex). But also talk it out with each other as well who knows she might have the same feelings as you are.

that should help out a little mind you don't follow this 100% just use for some breaking points.

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That's what relationships are. If you are losing interest in her, she's not the right one for you. You might get into a fight, but you won't lose interest if you actually like her. There are actually no suggestions for this, from me. Every person has their own different/varied "tastes" and everybody thinks differently. From what I have learned, people get "sexually" aroused by someone of the opposite/same sex because of their symetrical body forms.

In AP Biology, they told us that it was not the hair, style, but the body form. If you really are losing interest in her, I woud suggest you don't see each other for a while; then meet each other and let's see how you feel for one last chance.

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After you spend a long time with someone you start getting very comfortable with them, and you start to take a lot of the things that they do for granted. It's probably not that she's become less attractive, or that your tastes have changed, but that she's become more normal to you, and that the exciting newness of the relationship has worn off. Try thinking back to when you were first going out, to all the amazing things she did that you hadn't expected. Try to remember the things you found most endearing about her, and focus on them when you're together. When you say "I love you", keep it from being a reflex said out of habit. After you pronounce the words, stop a minute, and really think hard on what they mean.

Try changing your schedule. If you normally do a specific thing with her, try changing the location, or the activity, or the order in which you do an activity. Go out to eat at different places, go on a picnic, play a game neither of you has touched in years. Try doing random things with her out of the blue. Add variation to your intimate life.

If you have good communication in your relationship, it's absolutely best to talk about it. She might feel hurt at first, but you should be able to explain that it's not "her fault", and that you want to work on not taking things you do together for granted. Stress that you really care about her, and that you want to stay together. She might be feeling the same way you do, but be too hesitant to talk about it, and you don't want to let that distance drive you apart. Regardless, hopefully she'll understand and she can help you break out of your feelings of bored complacience.

Don't stop spending time with her unless you're fairly sure that you don't want a relationship anymore. Taking breaks from being together rarely works.

Best of luck working your feelings and your relationship out. Strong relationships are really hard to maintain, especially when you don't get to see eachother that often, but it is possible.

 

 

 

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Thanks guys for all of the replies. I appologize for the sluggish response, I've been out for sometime since I was in a car crash last thrusday, but I'm all better now. Infact, if anything, the car crash had helped our relationship, as we had became closer and she had begun to tell me things that were on her mind that she hadn't told me before. Were both also on spring break and have spent the majority of this week together, so our relationship is running rather smoothly.

The only thing I fear is that our relationship will turn back to mud as school starts again and we will be seeing each other less and less.

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if you are woking, and not like 10 years old then why are her parents being soo hitler-ish?

what age is she?

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Haha, I'm not 10, I'm 17. And yes I do work, but I get a lot of free time. As to why her parents are so 'hitlerish', it's probably due to many reasons. For one, they are of a heavily religious family. Secondly, her father, an Ex-Marine, has a very strict control of the household. And if anything, her father should hate me, for everythign I stand for, as I have nearly the opposite views of him on everything.

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Hey Skamikazi, I agree with WindAndWater, you should talk to her about it. Communication in a relationship is KEY. Even if it's talking about whether you two should stay together.

Remember being in a relationship is not the same as being married. When you're married, you have to stay married. That's why being boyfriend and girlfriend is so important. It's when you discover for yourselves whether or not you want this person to be your life partner or not. If in the process (it might take 1 year or even 9 years) you find that you two are not suited for each other then part graciously.

Enjoy the moments spent with one another however short it may be.

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Thanks a lot. I totally agree with what you said about relationships. Infact, I did tell her how I was feeling, and she understood, but it didn't stop our relationship. I just needed to get reaquainted with her, sort of like when some one messes up the *arse* grove on your couch, it took time, but I'm slowly regaining my interest with her. If anything, this may just have been considered a phase in our relationship rather than a deciding fact as to wether or not we would continue going out.

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that's good to hear.. all the best in your relationships dude..

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