aww its nice to hear thnigs are getting back on track. You could always dosomething a little extra to set everything in concrete, if possible cook her (or maybe order in ) her favourtie food and set up a table with candles and everything like that and buy her some flowers...chances are she'll love it and you'll be all over each other! I think people need a change when thnigs are so .. samey .. for so long so mix things up, go diferent places and do different things good luck in the future!

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About three years ago, we had a discussion in French class about the various stages of a relationship. According to this model, all relationships can be broken down into three stages, translated liberally into

1) Passion
2) Engagement
3) Commitment

Here’s a very basic summary of how the model works (at least from what I remembered). ‘Love’ start off with passion – the initial attraction between the two individuals. This attraction, more than often, is a physical one. Unfortunately, this stage will eventually come to an end, where ‘more’ will be required for the relationship to move forward.

Toward the end of the passion stage, the initial excitement of falling in love is starting to fade away. This is gradually replaced by the realization that both individuals are only human and each have their ‘problems’. Certain things will start to stand out and may get on each other’s nerves.

If these problems can be worked through, the couple will progress into the engagement stage. Passion, albeit still there, is not the major driving force in the relationship. The couple will start to find other things that keep them attracted to one another – a more psychological love. They will ‘need’ one another. The engagement stage ultimately sets the tone for marriage.

And as you could probably guess it, the commitment stage soon follows. After getting married, a couple will continue to stay together as long as they are committed to being with one other. Very often, having children is a huge determining factor in how ‘committed’ the parents would be to the family.


Now of course, I’ve really stretched it by writing up this lengthy post. Skamikazi, this is not to scare you but I merely wanted to share with you (and all the other readers) something that came across my mind after reading your initial post.

Yes, relationships are bound to have their ups and downs and it is only by working through those downs that your love will be further strengthened. Yes communication helps. Yes honesty helps. But realize that the ‘passion’ that you have for one another will gradually fade and it’ll be up to both of you to keep that flame ignited.

Best of luck!

 

 

 

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What religion are you?...if you don't mind me asking.

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I also think you guys just should break u for a while, cause if you now have this feeling you are less attracted too her thats something that will not change I gues. But I don't think you feel less attracted to her. I think the situations you have been in and what had been going on with you two has caused this feeling. Maybe it's just a temorary thing, you just doubt about the way you feel about her. Because you do say she is the most beautiful girl you ever been with and that she feels the same way about you. But whatever it is, don't stay with her because you think you can't find another beautiful girl like her who will feel the same way. Because you will, and if you stick with her knowing you actually do loose interest in her is very unfair to her, if she does feel you, or maybe feel the same way! To find out if you just imagined you feel this way is maybe just try seperating and then get back to gether. Just to spice your relation ship up. Becaus I can imagine after 1 year you get a bit bored especially if people are standing in the way for seeying eachoter.

I have had with my boyfriend for 2,5 years. I had the same problem thinking I lost attraction of him, I just didn't want to be around him anymore... But I think it was the distance between our homes, and the fact that we didn't see eachother much (sometimes 2 times in a month) because I live very far away. Now we are taking things slower, and I have a little break up...and as time goes by, I get the feeling back I think... But Im very fast bored from things and people, I want action and you know their was just something missing in our relationship. Maybe its the same way with you I dont know.

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Yeah this is a very common situation and it usually happens earlier than in about a year! The thing is that you start to take things including her for granted. You know you have her, you don't see her as much as you did and a loooot of topics you two have gone through...

You as yourself...What is next? Acctually just try not to be concerned with what is happening and wait for some time if things will get ok again maybe a bit different but ok! If not you have to talk to her, because usuallly that is first spotted by one of the partners and the other one doesn't have a clue of what is going on. I guess she was the one that acctually started the relationship, because usually the one that is not as "active" in trying to get the partner, is usually the one that feels earlier that relationship is getting cold...

Here is my advice: You go to her, surprise her with something but not too surprising and try to put yourself in the same position you were when you two have started...I think that everything is going to get OK, because you like her and you don't want to loose her!

Just one more thing, be cautious that if you really don't have fun spending time with her any more, just tell her and let it go! She is not the right girl if it is so...

Greetz and may God help you on your way..

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I'm not an expert on this, and I might not be able to spice things up, but from what i've seen, all people in relationships (Not always boy/girlfriend, normal friends can do it too) end up losing interest in the other. This is usually because they spend so much time together, though in your case it seems to be the opposite.

I suggest just trying to think of what it was that got you two together in the first place.

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Hi. Good to hear that things are getting better.

As most people have said, such things always happen. The passion burns in for the first few months, then slowly dies out. This is where the challenging part comes in. How you handle this"downs" of relationship. This test is ultimately important if you wish to have a very serious long-term relationship with her. If you cannot withstand this, how do you plan to survive the years of marriage.

The car crash was a very timely catalyst (hope your injuries are fine).

My mum always tells me: 感情是需要经营的。
Relationship needs active maintainence, just like a start-up business. Don't expect it to run on its own.

Hope this helps.

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I am in a relationship with my gf for about 3 years + now and I do not deny at times I am feeling like what you are feeling at the moment - losing interest. I guess when you spent too much time with one another, you are going to get bored, no offence but this is the way humans are. For example, we are not going to stick to 1 gadget all the time, there is always time for another one. Alright back to the topic, if you are losing interest, talk to her about it, the most important thing is honesty, you have to treat her as though she was your soul mate, there should be no transparency between the both of you. I am sure she would understand and of course together help you in overcoming this obstacle.

There are many problems you are going to face in a relationship, and believe me I have gone through a lot of hardship with my current gf to be at the stable position I am now (Family, friends, personal differences, jealousy ... etc) basically every problem a couple faces but slightly more. Try doing activities which brings back memories you cherish so much, for e.g. cycling together, taking her out on an unforgetable trip ... etc things like that, this will really bring you back into the mood.

Have you heard of this famous quote "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"? You may not see her as much but I am sure the both of you will miss each other a lot. It would help to start everyday with a morning and night SMS, I do that everyday with my gf and personally it makes me happy if I received a SMS from my gf saying how much she loves me and things like that.

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Yeah just hang in there man! I am sure that it may seem like you are losing interest but you also have to think that if you lost her, then wouldn't that be worse? I think you will find yourself attracted to her from the day you met in due time. Hang in there and best of luck!

And its always good to just throw something fun on birthdays, that might jsut trigger it

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i think this is just a phase that will pass away ,you love your girlfriend but this is just a passion fading time ,so hang there and you'll be drooling all over her,but keep on trying to bring changes in your love life ,don't keep it the normal routine,change will increase the excitement level and thats what you need now in your relationship

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