me and my ex boyfriend, Chris, started out being best friends for about 2 years.
off and on he liked me but i didnt try to mess around with him because my other girlfriends like him as well. maybe a year later i couldnt help myself but to be interested in him and sooner or later we were going out. (dont worry my friends didnt like him then) So the beginning of the relationship it was good, we always promised we would be best friends and talked about how stupid it was that people wouldnt even talk to eachother after couples break up. everything was fine and normal then one random day he decided to break up with me. Of course i was heartbroken because i had never been dumped before and i pretty much cried for a week straight. Life was really crappy and i wouldnt accept the fact that we broke up. Especially because he had done so many things in the past to hurt me and i have done nothing to him, but in the end i got crazily hurt. Anyways about 2 weeks later, after my misery, we did get back together and i was probably THE happiest person alive. The following month was the best we had ever been and i did loose my virginity with him. Me being dumb as i was didnt treat him like i wouldve wanted to and started lieing about things. An example would be the fact that he would tell me not to go to the club and id tell him i wasnt when i really did. Slowly after only a month of being back together, we both started to break down....AGAIN. we were fighting nonstop and things just werent working out. He would do things that would hurt me and i would just b****. Obviously by the way we were going, i knew it was about time we were about to fall apart. The thing was, i wasnt ready to go through that much pain again because i did love him. Eventually i took the first step and asked what was bothering him, why he wasnt so affectionate. He just told me he didnt know if he liked me or not. Even though i could already tell by the way he would act, i didnt want to believe it and being stubborn me, i wouldnt believe it at that time. So i basically just blew it off and told him to not be so sure of it so soon and to wait it out and think about it. TERRIBLE MISTAKE.
Because the following two weeks after were just pretty much hell to me. Basically, we were still together, but we werent. Everyday i had to be with him and know that there was nothing between us. We would still hold hands, but it wasnt the same way at all. We would still hug, but it was barely a hug. And when we did kiss, it was only a tap, not only that but he didnt call me anymore like he did everynight. This was the most painful because everytime we did something that was suppose to be the same as before, it wasnt and all it did was make me feel depressed and thinkin about what it WAS like.
Finally, my friends pushed me to it and had made me break up with him. I remmeber his exact words, "can we still be really good friends"
The next day summer started so we didnt see eachother at all, and of course i missed him like crazy because there wasnt one day when we had not spoken to eachother. Maybe a week into our break, i called him and we talked for a little bit and had decided to hang out the following weekend. When the weekend finally came up, i had called him right away and he never answerd his phone. Then i had to leave on a vacation for a month and didnt hear from him at all. As i came back, i called him right away, but still no answer. I left him messsages and no replies. Then my friends began to tell me that he had said he hated me and didnt want to talk to me or seee me at all. really, why, what did i do to him?
He was the one always doing the bad stuff, making mistakes, and hurting me. I was the one being mad at him for doing stuff but always forgiving him in the end and always trying to make things right. And in the end i just kept getting hurt and hurt and hurt. Anyways this story is taking forever so i will try to finish quick.
After 2 months of not talking to him i saw him and we started talking to him. I couildnt stay mad at him for being mad at me over nothing and ignoring me because i still did love him. By the end of summer we hooked up again and i got pregnant. GREAT right when we were starting to talk again, something big happens. Of course when i told him he got scared and basically ran away. After trying to get support from him He told me he didnt like me and that he didnt need to be responsible for anything. He told me that it was my fault that i was pregnant even tho it took TWO of us to make that happen and he said how it was annoying how i would try to keep him invovled in what was going on.(this was all in a 3 month period) He also told me that our relationship was a waste of his time and that he didnt care if he were to never see me again. YEA i was pissed, ive been hurt so bad by him that it was affecting school, work and social life. And after being pregnant (which is very tiring and stressful) he had the nerve to say all that to me.
The painfulest thing about that was the fact that during the whole time, everything he had said and done had always passed through me, that i never kept that against him because i was still so in love with him but so hurt at the same time. Eventully time passed and we stopped talking. We would see eachother everyday and ignore one another. After about 3 months of complete ignorance, we did start talking again and both are doing fine currently.
Im guessing that for most people they would never be able to talk to that person after everything they have done? But me, i still cant put that against him because even after almost a year of being broken up, i still love him.....crazy? yeah. i think i need help...
any comments anyone could make about this would be nice, maybe give me their view of the story.
