lady
Dec 28 2007, 07:07 PM
| | Hey,
I am 18 and I already have a collection of 150 poems,
If I receive a positive response to this post, I'll be sure to post my poems regularly in this topic.
I really need honest reviews for my poems from people who do not know me personally.
I am considering publishing my booklet this coming year and I could use all the help I can get
thank you |
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musicmaza
Dec 28 2007, 08:19 PM
yes it would be good if you share your poems with the trap17 members. And best of luck for your upcoming booklet. 
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lady
Dec 28 2007, 08:51 PM
hey thanks well here's the last one I wrote...I do hope therz no big threat of plagiarism around here 
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lady
Dec 28 2007, 08:54 PM
For months I've been struggling,
Fighting the tears, fighting the feelings,
I have destroyed all evidence of our couple,
For months I have been miserable.
For as long as I could remember,
I have lived and fought for us,
Your promises made me dream of forever,
Then you left them rotting to dust.
You walked away and never looked back,
Leaving me wondering what I lacked.
Now you decide to come back to me,
Thinking I'll forgive you so easily,
Forget the heartbreak which made me mourn,
Forget the pain when you left me alone,
You come back and open your arms,
Thinking I'll fall once more for the charm.
Things have changed since you've been gone,
I shielded my heart with a wall of stone.
There's a river of tears between you and I,
A river of tears you made me cry,
A world of pain you could drown in,
You lost my trust because of your sins.
Sorry,but am not coming back to you,
Now I want to live for myself too,
I have paid my dues to misery,
For once I have a right to be happy.
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lady
Dec 28 2007, 08:56 PM
this is my most recent one, title: I moved on
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musicmaza
Dec 30 2007, 07:24 AM
So this poem is really made by you,if yes thats really great.Its not too easy to write poems,it requires a lot of imagination and thinking. Good poem I liked it. Looks like you have a broken heart,did someone broke your heart in your life.
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lady
Dec 30 2007, 07:44 AM
thank you, this is my own poem. I got a big collection... lol,i realised most people would come to your conclusion when reading this,hehe ya, i have had my heart broken some time in the past, but hey I also wrote about war, prostitution, rape and extreme poverty, and be sure those things didn't happen to me.. i've got some imagination ;p
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jlhaslip
Dec 30 2007, 07:49 AM
I look forward to seeing more of your works. I am not a fan of Poetry, but I do enjoy some of the stuff I read. It is a tough job to select the right words to affect an emotion within the reader and that is what good poetry does. Well done.
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lady
Dec 30 2007, 08:07 PM
QUOTE(jlhaslip @ Dec 30 2007, 11:49 AM)  I look forward to seeing more of your works.
I am not a fan of Poetry, but I do enjoy some of the stuff I read.
It is a tough job to select the right words to affect an emotion within the reader and that is what good poetry does. Well done. thank you am glad you liked my work...i'll post another one very soon
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lady
Dec 30 2007, 08:10 PM
Failure It took one single day, To know if I belonged, The facts as they lay, Tasted bitter on my tongue. I was not one of them, Not a branch in the stem, I stood out like a sore thumb, My confidence fell in crumbs, The questions rush back unanswered, Happiness once felt,definitely shattered, Regrets resting heavily on my heart, I begin to look for a new start But I stop suddenly and wonder, If I always fail, why bother? I was the black sheep of the family, Always the stranger in the city, Why summon the courage to stay? I'll face deception anyway. I stand still and try to disappear, The snickers behind me, I won't hear, As hope dies on a weary sigh, With effort I try not to cry, I lie down hunched in a ball, As pain burned bright, eating my soul.
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