Moved over to Jokes section from Creativity forum. hey here's a couple of jokes for you. you
could post some jokes too just for fun.. Joke #1 A man's wife asks him to go to the store to buy
some cigarettes. So he walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar
to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They
have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment. After
they've had their fun, he realizes its 3AM and says, "Oh no, its so late, my wif...

I doubt that any of you is from Ireland, and even at that, know much about Derry. But if you are,
here's two pretty funny jokes. 1. Why Wasn't Jesus Born In Derry? They Couldn't find 3
wise men and a virgin. 2. Whats the only wrong with the county itself? It's Above sea level.
Got any more you'd like to share? the_low_down19@hotmail.com...

I was reading a book the other day and read a word used in this joke, very slowly... JOKE #1 - PS:
It may sound si,ilar to one you have heard before... There are two sisters, one blonde and one
brunette, and they inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in
financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a
bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they canbreed their own stock. They only have $600
left. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy t...

QUOTE Types of computer viruses Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore. Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant
for ten years. Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back. AT&T
virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting. The MCI virus: Every
three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus. Bill Clinton
virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure wha...

Source: off a email, and thought I may share this. A few of the new error messages that were taken
under consideration during the development of the Windows XP operating system... • Smash forehead
on keyboard to continue. • Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. • BREAKFAST.SYS
halted... Cereal port not responding. • Close your eyes and press escape three times. • File not
found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) • Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User. • Enter any
11-digit prime number to continue. • Bad command or file name! Go stand in the cor...

A man walks into a bar swinging a set of jumper leads above his head. The barman looks over and says
"You're not going to start anything in here, mate!" Three strings walk into a bar. The
bartender throws them out, yelling "Can't you read the sign?! I don't serve strings." The
strings try again, and again the bartender kicks them out. Finally, one of the strings gets the idea
to mess himself up a little. He walks into the bar. The bartender scowls, "What's wrong with
you? Can't you read? I don't serve strings!" The string replies, "I'm a f...

Well, my "Grandma" e-mailed this to me today and i thought it was rather funny, so i am going to
share it with everyone here i suppose QUOTE A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's
going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's
dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - and I
was in the wrong one. A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing
female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habi...

ok sorry if some of these offend you. 1. Why are there no olymics in Mexico? -
Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim is over here 2. What do you call all the lawyers under
the sea? - A perfect ending Sorry i cant think of many right now.... Credit
reduced. ...

A bus crashes full of ugly people. They all go to heaven. God says they have one wish each. The
first one wishes he is beautiful. The man at the back of the line laughs for a bit. The second one
wishes the same as the first one. The man at the back laughs again. This goes on until it comes the
the guy at the end who is rolling with laugher. God says him "what do you wish for?". He says "for
all the people who wished to be beautiful to be ugly again". woman’s husband comes home hammered
every night and she always yells at him before going to bed alone. One day she deci...

This is actual spoken dialogue from the game, you type /silly and you're character says a joke.
"So a guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bartender asks 'Hey, that's
cool, where'd you get that, and the parrot says 'Durotar, they're all over the
place'"-Miarkus, a human warrior "I don't drink any more... of course, I don't drink
any less either"-Timus, a dwarven hunter "I have a great idea for a movie, it's called: Masters
of the Bracelet, it's about a gnome who finds a mystical bracelet and has to find...

> > A blonds driving down the motorway and her husbandrings her up. He tells her that he's
been listening to the radio and that there's a maniac driving down the wrong side of the
motorway. She replies " No there's not, there hundreds driving down the wrong way (in case you
dont get it: she's the one driving down the wrongside of the motorway) Keep the jokes PG
rated. ...

There are 10 kinds of people in the world the ones who understand binary, and the ones who dont!
/tongue.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tongue.gif' /> ...

http://snopes.com/humor/lists/absent.htm Absent jokes from a high school, funny, also stuff is
misspelled. http://snopes.com/humor/lists/lists.asp More humor from the list. Enjoy, don't
forget to tell me what you think, post more later. We have dedicated Entertainment > Other Funny
Stuff section at your disposal. Please place posts in their rightful sections. Thank you. Moving
from Freebie Stuff . ...

Okay here goes nothing: An alien walks into a bar and sits down next to a jok. Alien licks his
finger and puts it into the joks ear. Jok gets mad and ignores him. Alien does it again. Jok does
nothing. Alien does it again and the jok does nothing. Alien does it again and the jok says " If you
do that again I will beat you." Alien does it again. Jok picks him up and kicks him in the nuts.
Alien gets up and sits back down next to the jok. Jok says "What the... I kicked you in the nuts."
Alien says "I don't have any nuts." Joks says "Well than how do you have sex?" A...

/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /> Hi, i'm looking for
free(or with ads /cool.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='cool.gif' /> ) daily
cartoons, jokes by javascript or rss feed. If you know some, please post the address. Any tips?
Thanks Nuno Rodrigues...

Write any You might be a redneck or here's your sign jokes. Thanks, Cody If you go to a
dance where they say its a ho-down and you throw your girlfriend on the floor, you might be a
redneck....

Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" a bit more
entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: "As we prepare for
takeoff, please make sure your tray tables and seat backs are fully upright in their most
uncomfortable position." "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of
this airplane." "Your seat cushions can be used for floatation, and in the event of an emergency
water landing, please take them with our compliments." "We do feature a smoking section on this ...

Post your favourite jokes here! Heres one! Defense Attorney: What is your age? Little old
Woman: I am 86 years old. Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened
to you? Little old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm
spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney: Did you know him? Little old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly. Defense
Attorney: What happened after he sat down? Little old Woman: He started to ...

any good jokes you know of just post them thnx...

random computer joke C:/Dos C:/Dos Run Run Dos Run...

Q. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? A. Frosted Flakes Q. What do you call a dumb blonde
behind a steering wheel? A. An airbag. Q. How can you tell a blonde has had a bad day? A. She has a
tampon tucked under her ear and she can't find her pencil. Q. What does the Bermuda Triangle
and a blonde have in common? A. They both swallowed a lot of semen. Q. What's the difference
between a blonde and an ironing board? A. Its difficult to open the legs on an ironing board. Q.
How did the blonde burn her nose? A. Bobbing for chips. Q. What do you call a zit o...

Kissing And Slap A Nepali guy, an Indian guy, a beautiful girl and an old woman are sitting in a
train. The train suddenly goes thru a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there was a
kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. The old woman, beautiful girl and
the Indian guy are sitting there looking perplexed. The Indian guy is bent over holding his face,
which is red from an apparent slap. The old woman is thinking: That Indian guy must have tried to
kiss that girl and got slapped. The Indian guy is thinking: "Damn it, that Nepali guy m...

A lady who was known as Churchill's main rival in parliament was giving a speech. Churchill,
with his usual enthusiasm for his rival, dozed off while the lady was speaking. She stopped her
speech and awoke Sir Winston by yelling, "Mr. Churchill, must you sleep while I talk?" Churchill
sleepily replied, "No, ma'am. I do so purely by choice." Attorney: "At the scene of the
accident, did you tell the constable you had never felt better in your life?" Farmer: "That's
right." Attorney: "Well, then, how is it that you are now claiming you were seriously injured ...

Car Accident --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto
them saying, "I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into
heaven, but if you lie....Hell is waiting for you. To the first man the Lord asked, "How many
times did you cheat on your wife?" The first man replied, "Lord, I was a good husband. I never
cheated on my wife." The Lord replied, "Very good! Not only will I allow you in, but for bei...

These are actual directions found on certain products around the world! 1. Directions found on a
bag of frito corn chips. "You could be a winner!!! No purchase neccessary!!! Details inside!"
you think to your self (Shoplifters special) 2. On Tesco's Tiramisu Desert (directions on
bottom) "Do not turn upsode down" (Too late) 3. On Marks & Spncers Bread Pudding. "Product
will be hot after heating" (Just as day follows night) 4. On most kinds of christmas lights.
"Indoor and outdoor uses ONLY" (As opposed to what now?) 5. On Sainsbury...

The Pope and the Queen of England are on the same stage at an Anglican and Catholic commemoration of
the Anglo-Irish accords - the crowd is huge in the thousands. Her Majesty and His Holiness,
can't help but have a little rivalry - both being heads of churches and all. The Queen says to
the Pope, "Did you know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every English person in
the crowd go wild?" He doubts it, so she shows him. Sure enough, the royal-gloved wave elicits
rapture and cheering from every Englishman in the crowd. Gradually, the cheering subsi...

A Blonde's New Job A blonde who had been unemployed for several months got a job with Public
Works. She was to paint lines down the center of a rural road. The supervisor told her that she was
on probation and that she must stay at or above the set average of two miles per day to remain
employed. The blonde agreed to the conditions and started right away. The supervisor checking up at
the end of the day, found that the blonde had completed four miles on her first day, double the
average! "Great," he told her, "I think you're really going to work out." The next...

I like this one: A lawyer is seated next to a blonde on the airplane. He asks her if she'd
like to play a fun game, but the blonde, who just wants to get some sleep, politely declines and
rolls the other way. Not to be deterred, the lawyer wakes her. "It's really fun! We ask each
other questions and if one of us doesn't know the answer, they have to pay the other!" The
blonde declines again. The lawyer, who figures he'll make a small fortune if he can just get the
blonde to play, wakes her again. "Hey, I'll make it easy for you. If you don't kn...