Dear Dusty in Trap Land. You know the situation better than anyone else but something you might not have thought about is: A lot of times it gives someone comfort to know they have an option to resort to, a fail-safe relationship. For example, he knows or thinks that he can always go back to you if things get rough. He knows he doesn't have to go as far as proclaiming his love for you because you like him. His flirting with you could be keeping you on a leash so to speak. You're hesitant to move on because he's making you unsure if you should wait for him. It's my bet he's doing this whether on purpose or subconsciously. This kind of relationship to fall back on gives a person a good, confident feeling. To know that if your partner breaks up with you you have someone to go back to is a very comforting, but selfish thing to feel.
In my experience, people say things like "you're my best friend" "you're the only person i can talk to about some things" all the time. I take it as a compliment, but I never take it too literally anymore.
You're also talking about a guy who's flirting with you while he's supposedly in love with. It's not setting a good example of what kind of a boyfriend he really is. It's tempting to think that he'd only "cheat" on his girlfriend if it's you, but it seems doubtful in the real world in my opinion.
Of course, I have no idea what his motives really are but I think the best thing for you to do is to try to meet someone else. You might find you love someone else more, and even if you don't, The Guy, if he loves you, will almost definitely show some sign of jealousy, or even just tell him about a guy you're liking or find attractive. A lot of guys get jealous easily. The bad thing is, even if he does get jealous, it doesn't necessarily mean it's because of love. Some guys can get very possessive of women they think are "theirs" even if it's not love.
I know I'm being kind of negative and pessimistic in my reply, but you've already got the optimistic angle covered. I'm not trying to make you cry or anything, just trying to help you figure out what's going on. Maybe he does truly love you. Who knows? Not me, not you, maybe not even him.
As for making him want you more, that seems to go against my idea of what love is supposed to be. I think love shouldn't be that much effort. It should be like floating down a river on a hot day with a cool and comforting breeze always there to push you along. What you describe sounds like paddling across an ocean on a raft during a hurricane. Then again, that sounds rather exciting.
But I wish you the best in not going mental and hope you stick around here, or maybe you just came here for the wise (or stupid) advice?
ps: This might be a stupid question, but I can't help but wonder but how does he know how you smell if you're in different countries?
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