I'm doing telecommunication engg. in Pakistan. I'm fallen in love with a girl. She's my class fellow. I was and still very uncomfortable talking to her because I always get nervous in front of her. I can't tell u how I managed to tell her abt I love her, but it gave me a real tough time doin' all this and of course! it took a long time. But now when I've discussed all this with her, and even she also unhided the thing that she's also involved in me, the problem is that we two can't be together due to some reasons in both of our familys' religious background. So when we both know the fact that our Love won't be able to reach its final destination, we've decided to remain as just sincere friends, BUT I can't forget that I loved her too much more than anybody else. She means to me a lot. I wanna know your opinion what should I do now to erase my memory in which she's got too much space. I feel like I'm destroying my life for what I can't get. Can you sort my problem out...?

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..you love eachother.. but can't do anything about it? o.o Ha, good luck ;.;


...I actually have two guys who claim to be in love with me, although they both know, and have known, that I'm happily dating someone else.

One of them had decided that the best course of action was to ignore me flat-out, until he no longer thought of me every day.. but that only lasted a week.. now he's decided to be my friend, and just let time take care of letting him fall out of love..

The other decided to find some reason to hate me, fight with me, something.. so he'd be too mad to love me. That plan also died after a week.. he couldn't find anything to be mad enough about to kill off the love, so.. he's also going to just remain friends with me, if he can ^^;


..I really don't think there's a good way to fall out of love. Maybe things are different in.. Pakistan? ..but I couldn't imagine just sitting back and watching love die.. for anything.


..they say time heals all wounds, though..

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its the classic romeo and juliet situation but of course you don't need do what they did at the end of the story, thats the problem with people to especially with families that are strict when its comes to religion the middle eastern religions really has a problem with that.

Well best suggestion i could give is talk to the families (that will be the hard part) and just tell them how you feel.

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the solution is realy in you. You r not just willing to forget here. In that case fight for it.. if you can't, then try to move on... but of course its a process that time can only tell when it will it end... but time does heal wounds although somtimes it takes a lot than you expect it to be.....

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let me tell you something my friend....when you find something in life that makes you happy, you need to hang on to it and work hard to keep it. i understand that family religious background would be an interference in your relationship, but nobody....NOBODY can tell you what makes YOU happy and what YOU deserve in this life. i know that family and friends are the easiest to be loyal to and the easiest to be influenced by, but ULTMATELY, it is YOU who decided what you want in your life. nobody controls it but you. even our gods allow us to make our own decisions in this world.

so with that said, you need to think long and hard in how much this girl means to you and how big of a mountain you are willing to climb with her. it may be the hardest struggle, so will it be worth it when you have her in the end? maybe not? are you unsure? if you have children, what religion will this child be raised? alot to think about, yes...including family pressure and them disowning you or you disowning them for their own disrespect in not respecting the one you love. is it worth it? if she's the ONE and you two connect in such a way that it seems like it's been 3 lifetimes until you found someone like her, then you have a big choice to make.

remember, we live our lives to learn and to become better people. if life was perfect, we would not have anything else to learn now would we. there's a reason why life is full of struggles. it's so we can overcome and learn and become stronger for it and this is what we carry on to our next lifetime. a better person.

maybe she isn't the ONE. in any case, know your soul and follow it without regret.

now i will answer your simple question you asked....you will NEVER erase or forget ANYONE you love or have loved. if you decide not to be with her, the best thing you can do is have some support from your friends and/or family and ALWAYS keep busy. the more you keep busy, the less time you have to think about her. also, don't do anything stupid like end your life. you would have been better off fighting for her than doing that. time allows people to deal with pain when eventually, time will heal pain.

don't EVER regret your decision, whatever you choose(to be with her or not) you need to make a decision that YOU know is the right one. don't ever live in regret because that is almost like dying. if you know it is the right decision, you will never have any reason to hurt inside as much as you are stating that you are destroying your life.

 

 

 

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Thnx! a lot. I actually wanted to share my problem to get different opinions about what others say.

'calkid' wrote a lot about my issue & yes after reading all this, I'm in a better position to handle the situation I'm currently facing. To remain busy in other works won't give me too much time to think about her. And may be, one day I'll just forget all the past events and start considering her only one of my best fellows.

Thanx again for providing me with your impacting suggestions. Hope I overcome all of my problems.

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Hi there,

A newbie of sorts, and I need credits to get to free hosting. Nonetheless, I genuinely enjoy talking about this matter.

I'd rather be supportive of calkid's assessment on how to face a stuation of forgetting a beloved person but for one critical point: there is no such thing as really knowing if the person whom you decorated with so many charms and qualities is actually the REAL thing, or rather a figment of your imagination.

Now, I'm over 60. Tell you, it's quite enough time to fall in love with a girl or two, or more. I mean, REALLY be in love. Funny thing is I've never forgotten them, whatever I tried and tricked about that. Rather, what happened is time had a way to show me who the REAL person was and that never exactly duplicated what my imagination told me they were.

Believe me, I'm not being pessimistic. On the contrary. Time is the only good healer. Besides, it feels real good to recall beautiful memories about persons who couldn't possibly match my expectations, but triggered them all the same. That's what counts, friend. It's the only thing religions and prejudices cannot claim upon your inner self: your liberty to enjoy someone's way of being. Pretty much prevents you from getting annoyingly self-centered, right?

Aloha

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well said. i'm 37 and been in love 3 times in the past. i've been through the pain, but most importantly, i've been through the pleasures. each one was different and unique and each one had something different to offer me that i will always remember. and you are right....how do you know if she's the one? people talk about meeting their "soul mate" but what about differentiating that with "soul friends" who aren't in your life as long but take something with you from that relationship nonetheless.

me, i found my soul mate. someone who i am very compatable with. even our differences are compatable because in the areas i am weak in, she is strong and visa versa and we learn from eachother and grow closer doing just that. it's been the hardest relationship i have EVER been in climbing many obstacles just to make every effort to be with her. i've been to hell and back with her, but i would do it all over again.

the reason why i bring this up is because i know that if i didn't meet my past loves and didn't go through the devestating breakups(and it's always devestating no matter who breaks up with who) and all the good that was offered me in those relationships, i would have NEVER been able to succeed in the one i'm in now. why i always tell people to concentrate on what they HAVE rather than what they don't have because maybe what they don't have is meant to be for something more positive and GREAT in the future.

there is nothing more devestating than the loss of a loved one where you cannot continue to share your love, BUT there is nothing more exhilerating when you finally realize that you are a stronger and better person than you were in the past.

-aaron

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yo

let me ask you something m8...how many times do you fall in love with someone and have that love in return? sometimes, the hardest part of falling in love is letting it go, but then love is where you would surpass any challenge, climb over any obstacle and do what it takes to make it work.

the only way to get out of love is to get out of life, coz love is a natural part of it. you should not try and erase your memory, make it work. in my opinion, you owe it to you, and 2 the person you love to make it work.

religion is an extremely hard thing to get past, people can prove to be amazingly arrogant and not allow their beliefs to be broken or altered in circumstances such as this. you need to talk to them, MAKE them see that its meant to be

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Something everyone is forgetting is how much religion and family matter to you as well. It could just be an infatuation. This is a 2 month old post, I am curious at to what happened with you vistal? Can you please give us an update on your situation

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