Why do girls like to suffer and be miserable from people like these? I have a couple of friends that have gone through the same thing, and they insist but some have finally gotten over guys like these. The worst thing that ever happened was when a friend who is the vocalist of my band was the boyfriend of a friend (girl) that was in my school.

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Maybe because girls keep thinking they can change the guy? They care about him for who he is inside which is admirable, but God created all of us with something inside us capable of being loved.

It's pointless to love someone who won't love you back, and if he loved you why would he keep hurting you? If amanda can take it, she's probably well off with a lot of the great advice she got so far. (although to avoid legal issues she might want to avoid Mike's kicking advice ) You can know who loves you and is your friend by what they will go through for you, and what they'll give up for you. If they are completely self-centered, they're not worth the effort. Don't go for people based on the outside, that can change, what needs to be there is on the inside.

 

 

 

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point well taken josh, but of course you can't prove that you got kick in the junk by someone it would be all hearsay and rumors .

your true friends are the ones that you can trust and don't do things to harm you emotionally physically and mentally.

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Lol, well there you go Amanda, it seems our devious friend may have a point there

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but i do not codone cutting it off cause then your on your own or you can do what most kids is harass him online and make fun of him until he gets a eating disorder or something.

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Well Amanda, you probably already figured out what you want to do by now, but just in case, I'll give you my two cents. Personally I've been where you're at with a guy treating you like crap, but you still want to be with him. I've never experienced verbal abuse, and with this additional "problem," I'd have to say, that is something that you should not put up with. In your post, I did not find not one redeeming quality about him. You have not said anything good about him, which leads me to believe that he is all around not good for you. What it comes down to is that you really have to put yourself first. Ask yourself this question: Do you love yourself more than you love him? The goal is to get to a point where you love yourself first. Think about it. If he's putting himself first in the relationship, and you're putting him first, where does that leave you. Do yourself a favor, and buy "The Rules" and some other self help books (namely in the area of self-esteem). You really don't need someone like that stealing your thunder. There are plenty of guys out there that will appreciate you. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.

Good Luck!

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Your so right. I know I don't need this but yet I still put up with it. The past week hes been fine. Hes been picking me up from work and actually wanting to hang out with me. The only problem is I know hes going to do something wrng this weekend. I always dread the weekends because I know something is obviously going to happen. I've realized that I love him more than I love myself and he knows that. But lately I've been doing a lot more for myself and not revolving my life around his. If he doesn't want to hang out with me thats okay because I've got better things to do ith my time. By not caring about hanging out with him, I've actually got a lot of things done.

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I dont even see why you are still trying to hang out with this guy. First of all, it is a well known fact that people like this don't change. The percentage of guys like this that actually change for the better is almost zero. Besides, it isn't your job to change him.

The best thing to do is to completely ignore him and cut him off. Do not hang around this loser anymore. Why bother? Wait until you are both a little older and see if he actually has changed before trying anything. And when I say older, I'm not saying a few months off. I am talking years. People don't change overnight and you shouldn't expect this guy to change quickly no matter what you do and especially no matter what he says. They ALWAYS say they can change.

It sounds like he already has a drinking problem and he is already abusive. If you stay with this guy, you will turn into one of those women with NO self esteem and be submissive for the rest of your life. I have seen it so many times, women are slowly worn down by the guy that they "love" until they have no choice but to stay with him. They eventually lose their will to move on. Besides this, stay longer and the mental/verbal abuse WILL turn to physical abuse. This is how it starts.

This guy is worthless. Don't try to change him because it won't work. You should not hang around this guy anymore. You think it is love but most probably it is NOT. Besides, if it is love, a few years in between can't hurt it.

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I totally see where your coming from. I hear it all the time. It just that sometimes he can be nice and I sooo think hes gonna change. Which he does but when it comes down to drinkin he doesn't care so then its pointless to try so I stopped. Matter of fact, last night I was haning out with him and he had his stupid friend there so he ignored me so I ignored him. THen when his friend left I stayed and hung out with him. He was being nice again. Then I told him I might sleep over so he turned off the light and started to pass out, but I need pants to wear instead of jeans so I turned on the light and started looking for pants and he was like .. go home your making too much noise. So I gave up looking and then he got up went to the bathroom and I was about to leave and he got mad that I was leaving. So i ended up staying. It was like 1130 and he passed out and I was really uncomfortable and had to work this morning so I just wanted to sleep in my bed. SO I got up and went home. I didn't even tell him I was going home. His phones shut off(go figure) so I can't get a hold of him, and he can't call me which I know he likes. I honestly not a bad person at all from what I'm told but sometimes I just don't see the point of telling him to go f himself because I know without me hes worse off. You should see what happens to him when hes not with me. Hes miserable, thats one of the reasons why I want to stay, because I know he truly can't stop being with me.

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he's a loser and you deserve better. listen to all your friends. they're completely right. you can't love him if he hurts you like this. you say you've turned your life around and you're doing the best to make yourself happy. if you really are intent on making youself happy, let him go. don't be scared to do it. you only have one life to live. don't waste it with someone who doesnt deserve you. in your heart, you know that letting him go would benefit you so much. you are independent and young. go out and have fun. there's a million things you can do and million guys out there worthy of you, who will truly love you. if he doesnt appreciate you and isnt happy for you when you do something that you like, then you wont appreciate yourself or be happy either. do the right thing....let him go. i promise it'll all work out alright if you do

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