I love my job. It is just plain awesome. I love coming in the days I do and being greeted by everyone when I come in, and being good friends with all my coworkers, or so I thought. Today I had two different people come up to me and basically tell me that I was arrogant, rude, and conceded to some of our smarter and more experienced employees. Now I personally have no recollection of ever being rude to them but I am very depressed that I come off that way. I always thought that they considered me as a friend but now I feel as if they think I am just an annoying know-it-all, (which I really didn't think I was). They both basically said the same thing. That I was a great employee and that I did a great job but that some of our more experienced employees have actually taken the time to say something. Now I would have preferred it if instead they would have told me that I was doing an awful job and was being fired, but everybody thought I was awesome and were sad to see me go and would miss me.

So why am I posting this here? Well I basically don't want to tell anyone at work, I'm sure nothing I can say can repair the first impression that I gave off, and I'm sure nobody here cares about my dilemma's at work but I just feel better just letting my thoughts come out. I cannot believe that I have ever acted in such a way, and I am starting to rethink my decision of working there. I would also like to apologize if I have ever been rude or arrogant to any of you here. If I have in any way I would love it if you told me and perhaps I should rethink my decision of posting here as well...

 

 

 

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No one likes rude or arrogant know it all people but sometimes it does come across as you being that. When I say you I mean anyone its just all from the other persons perspective of you. I've been hated on because I came across as being like that to some class mates in the past but It rarely happens and I did not mean to. We ended up getting into a fight in class but made up. We still are really back to being friends since.

I don't think you can change the way they think about you now easily so don't worry about it. The only thing I could suggest is just keep in mind how you come across to others when talking to them. What I do now in some of my classes is just sit there and let others answers questions because when I used to answer them I don't know it seems as if I was trying to be a show off or something which I was not but to others it may be.

Theres this one guy in our maths class right who is smart and always calls out the answers not giving anyone else a go at it. I find him a bit annoying and I know others too since they make fun of him. He always was in a group project where he wanted to do a certain programming project a certain way and the others in his group had another idea. He threw a fit over it and said it was his way or the high way. What happen was his way turned out wrong and he ended up looking like an idiot.

Just remember no matter how much you know just always try to be humble about it and you should not have any trouble looking like a know it all or what ever it is. Your post on this forums are good and take it from me I don't think you come across as being arrogant or rude all the time, Just sometimes but its only my perception and I'm sure you didn't intend to. I probably do the same thing but I don't like doing it. Its probably just one of our flaws as humans. Don't beat your self up over it no ones perfect. The main thing is your contributing with your knowledge here and I'm sure you have your bad times when you get sick of hearing about noobie questions and such but there will always be noobs lol.

I'm gonna end my rant now since I think I said what I intended to say.

 

 

 

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I can't add much to what sonesay has already spoken about, but I can tell you that inter-personal Office Politics can be nasty.

There doesn't need to be a single grain of truth in the information circulating around an office for the damage to be inflicted upon someone.
Usually, someone is jealous of your abilities, or concerned about your talents making them look bad. Petty stuff, really.

Best advice would be to suggest that you consider the Office a place to work, and if you garner a friend out of the job, consider that a Bonus.

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Alex, brother, I feel for ya. I've been there and it's not an easy thing to face in one's self. I mean, to be attacked like this is to be attacked at the heart or so it'd seem. Let's look at the situation rationally, though, just for a moment. I've seen your posts and normally agree with you pretty much all the time. But that's because we're both "mac addicts" and we know the usual petty and unfounded attacks on our chosen platform. Others may not see it that way, though. There's a fine line between self-confidence and arrogance. The biggest thing that makes a world of difference and allows you the lea-way to come off a bit leaning on the arrogant side of things is if, in what you say and do, you some how manage to find a non-threatening way of saying or doing it. That way everyone feels better about the whole thing when you leave them. In other words, you can either make someone feel better about themselves when you interact with them, or you could generate feelings of animosity, anger, or fear against you. It's not an easy thing to do, being political in your interactions with people, but it should be at the forefront of your mind before you even open your mouth every time you interact with someone who will remember you. Office politics is full of land-mines and you'll learn to avoid them. I personally celebrated the day I was laid off from Global Crossing and no longer had to work in that environment. Not that I didn't get along with my co-workers, but I no longer had the added stress of pretending I liked them when in reality, I didn't. It's an artificial world created for you to "fit" into during the day, but you put on your own hat at the end of the day and you can be yourself then.

I hope you realize that the reason this "personality deficiency" was brought to your attention in the first place is someone is hoping you'll have the courage to modify your mannerisms at work. That means, they see more to like in you than not. That's a good thing. It means you've got a chance to show you don't come into work every day wondering just how much you can humiliate your most senior co-worker in front of a crowd making him cry. Chipper up little camper! Don't give up now. Thank whoever told you the good news and tell your peers you'd appreciate them coming to you directly next time if they think you're being a jackass. Good luck!

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