This is just a neat little poem I thought up one day in attempt to make social class go by faster. ^_0 I hope you like it! Fallen Heroes Fallen Heroes never die They simply vanish within the sky They fall to earth and there they lie Till darkness gathers in their eyes They rise as demons as night drifts by For fallen heroes never die. So...... What fo you think, guys?

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It's a good poem for thinking it up in a class. It has a lot of emotion to it. A few constructive points:
The rhyme scheme is very simple, 3 letter rhyming words.
Why does darkness gather in the eyes of a hero if he never dies and why does he rise as a demon? Those seem to be negative descriptions rather than the positive feeling you want to give about the hero.

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well, I think that poem is pretty good. it has a lot of meanin relatin to real like heroes. they may have died, but they will forever be a part of a person. great poem. u should extend it more on fallen heroes. for example, u could incorporate ur own personally experiences that will really make the poem much more moving and interesting. like who's ur special hero that u really admire? maybe this poem will become very famous someday! lol really! i hope u keep on workiing on this particular poem, asking tips from parents, teachers, friends, relatives, etc. im no criticizer!! lol just helpin u *revise* ur poem. keep workin at it kid.

and sry if this isnt wat u are looking for, like a long explanation and comments.... if u want more simple comments, then here u go:

very nice poem. keep on addin! lol.


Godspeed

 

 

 

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I suppose itīs darkness and demons because it talks about "fallen" heroes and not regular heroes. So, all itīs relative and maybe darkness and demons are better than light and gods for some people. Maybe.

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I like the rhyme scheme, not very often I find people who actually use a rhyme scheme. I mostly see free verse. So nice job, I find the poem slightly catchy.

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Thank you all for your comments. I was surprised so many people responded, and it sounds a if you all have different views upon the meaning of it, which is as I intended. Thank you all.

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It ryhmes but apart from that it does not make any sense!

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