Difference Between Love And Crush

darnit

May 7 2006, 12:53 AM

As the title says, i wanna see what all of you out there think the difference between a crush and true love is
i'm 16, and havent seen much of life, but i think i have the general gist of the difference.

This happens so because of my own relationship with a girl, which hasnt gone well, i wrote this story in the topic named Confusing girls, but it didnt work out, and usually for me, if it was a crush i would've forgotten a girl in a month or two, but this girl, even though i tried to avoid for a 3 months after she said no, and staying away, not even seeing her face weeks at a time, i still feel like something is missing in my heart, its like i left my heart with her, and to tell you the truth i think its love, I think its love because, I know a relationship is impossible, and i expect nothing from liking her, but i still love her unconditionally, meaning i dont expect anything in return, if this was a regular crush, i'd expect something in return, but i dont even talk to her that much, an occassional Hi, and thats it, and still she's in there, pretty deep.

.hack//GU

Sep 12 2007, 04:13 AM

I've had my crush for a girl about 3 years ago and even after we were separated for 3 years, my heart still thought of her as a special one for me. So, for me, I don't know any true love because I haven't experienced it though.

In my life, there are 3 girls that were special to me, that until this day I cannot ever forget the moments I spent with them. Right now, after 3 years we are far away, I met again with my special girl at my campus which she attended. I really hope that one day, I can say to her my true feeling, the same one from 3 years ago...

benzkids

Sep 12 2007, 02:33 PM

i've never got what the difference really is. isn't loving a chick wanting to spend the rest of your life with her and a crush youthinks shes really HOT.
if thats wrong please explain it in simple terms for me lol:D

techclave

Oct 21 2007, 05:46 AM

i have had many many crushes during my school days...

it is a part of every bodies life. you cant avoid it.... but love come to only one person. even if she refuses you cannot leave her, that love....

am still finding for such a person. enough of having crushes alone...

boy-thoj

Oct 21 2007, 06:40 AM

I think love is when you really like someone for who they are. They always make you happy when you see them, and you always want to try to make them happy too. Ah, like that wasn't the case for crush. It just that a crush and love have lots in comment but the only thing is that love don't fade away as easily as a crush does.
When you have a crush you think you love them, but after a while if you don't tell him/her and you're not showing that you have any interest in him/her it'll just fade away faster than you think it would. As for love, it doesn't go that easily. That is why so many people do stupid things after a break up.
But if you do tell the person you have a crush on him/her and you really show it. That would be different, and it will really depend on how he/she respond to that.
Well that's what I think of the difference is. I know I didn't really explain much but I couldn't come up with something better than just that already. Hope it'll help a little though.

heavensounds

Oct 21 2007, 09:57 PM

Well there is a big difference and you will find out sooner or later that these two things couldn't be more different

Crush is something that happens in an instant or may develop for some time, but it is a quick strong and powerful emotion that makes you fly - you feel butterflies in your stomach, you can't eat or you might don't experience all these things but you still have a crush.

The important thing about crush is, that it happens at the beginning of a relationsship and it usually lasts for a month or three. Some people claim that they have a crush for their whole life but that is crap, because that is LOVE.

Now love is something deeper, it is what you feel towards your dad and mom, but a bit different. When you love a person you firstly and mostly CARE about her, you FEEL COMFORTABLE around her, you share the same interests, you wanna be with that person till the rest of your life.

The big and probably first prerequisite for love is FRIENDSHIP. If you are not the best friends with your partner then things just can't work - you have to phisically attract each other in the beginning and there should be something like chemistry going on, but in the back you should become veeery good friends, because only like that you can spend time together and feel good.

This might sound weard to you and at your age, things are mostly crush-like, but you'll se at about 20, 21 that love is something deeper and a lot more beautiful if you find the right person...

It is actually the same as with other things on this planet and in this life: QUICK, STRONG AND SHORT EMOTIONS make you happy for a short time, but if you are capable of LONGTERM, LESS-POWERFUL but DEEP EMOTIONS, this makes you happy for your whole lifetime...

You have plenty time to think about it, find your own path, your own truth, but you might consider what is written above...

Take care..

iGuest

Dec 14 2007, 01:18 AM

Well I believe what most say are true that crushes are the easiest thing to make disappear but what do you do if the person you love is with someone else and went through the best friend thing and now you both know how you feel and not sure it will change a thing

-confused

IMHO

Dec 16 2007, 03:36 PM

In my opinion, a crush is a form of love... just temporary. It's the kind of feeling that hits you one day - you start thinking about that person a lot and maybe daydreaming of what it would be like to be with that person. Someone might have a crush on a musician they listen to or to someone they see at school or work - and are usually more fantasy than reality. It's also the kind of feeling that could go away very quickly if, for example, you met or saw someone else who you liked more - and then all those feelings kind of transfer to the other person. These feelings can be great, but they're not a mature kind of deep love.

Crushes usually happen to younger people, who are still growing and learning about themselves. To experience true, deep love, a person needs to have some years under their belt - they need to know and love themselves before they can truly love another person.

There's also a difference between loving someone and being IN love with someone. I love a lot of people - for who they are, how I feel when I'm around them, and the respect I have for the person. I'm only IN love with one person - the man who's my partner in life. It's not a feeling that can easily be described. There's an underlying feeling that you're "in it" together - and you trust that this person is always looking out for your best interest, as you do theirs. Then there's the passion - sometimes it's stronger than other times - and it changes as the relationship grows, but is always a part of your life.

My parents had an amazing marriage of over 40 years, until my mother passed away in 1990. I used to catch them making out - and I remember as a teenager I thought, "get a room!" They were truly in love. They were cute together. Not that they didn't have issues or disagreements from time to time... that's part of life.

Having problems with men in my 20s, I once asked my mom what the secret was to their great relationship. She told me that there were 3 parts to their relationship... "me, your dad, and the 2 of us together." She said that they never lost who they were as individuals and they had great respect for each other... and in addition to that, the two of them together made up this third part. I'll never forget that advice.

Back to the crushes. I think if my mom were alive today, she'd say that as deeply in love as they were, my parents still had crushes on each other. That's the real deal - when you never lose the youthful feeling of having your stomach turned upside down or your heart skip a beat when you're with another person for over 40 years.

KansukeKojima

Dec 17 2007, 12:30 AM

In my opinion, love is a choice, not a feeling. If you don't maket the choice to love someone, but rather just let your emotions tell you that you supposedly love them, there is a good chance the relationship will not work.

strange-garden

Dec 17 2007, 08:29 AM

I've thought I was inlove before, until my recent boyfriend. I've been with him for almost 2 years now, and I now know what love really feels like. I think people seriously get the two mixed up really easily. I find it funny that people think they're inlove with someone from the internet lol, and they've never met before...If they just fell inlove with someone who they get to spend everyday with them, they'd definately recognise the difference.

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iGuest

Oct 12 2008, 05:20 AM

I'm 41, I've had 4 serious girlfriends, lasting between 2 years to six years, I've been married 4 years then it was annulled and I'm engaged to be married by December.

I don't think that makes me an expert on love, but after 41 years, I think I've formed an opinion.
Signs of a crush:

1. You obsess over a person (think about him/her all the time).
2. Your feelings yo-yo when you hear/feel/see/experience something about her. (She greeted you, you feel high. She ignores you, you feel crushed).

Some indications of love: (not sure-fire, but it increases the probability it's real)
1. You would sacrifice for her (do things for her, lay your life for her, even NOT BE WITH HER if it would contribute to her happiness.)
2. If you are married or in a relationship, you are still together till you are very, very old.
3. Love, true love, I believe, does not involve emotions. After a year, the thrill of marriage is gone, then you might argue more often, you might settle into routine and take each other for granted, that's when your love will be tested. It NEVER gets easy. True love is hard work.
4. True love isn't what you feel, it's what you do. You would be nice to her even if you're really depressed. You would say she looks nice even if she looks like the Crypt Keeper from Tales from the Crypt. You would dress differently, lower the toilet seat after using it, and use your knife and fork properly if it makes her happy. And that's how it is, if she loves you too, that's her goal, to make you happy too, and she'd do little sacrifices for you too.
5. True love isn't happiness all the time, because of these tests and little arguments and problems, but you can rely on her or she can rely on you to want to stick together and work it out.

One of the most romantic stories I've ever read is "The Gift of the Magi" by O. Henry. I think the short story sums up everything I've said. You can read it here: http://www.Gutenberg.Org/dirs/etext05/magi10.Txt

Here's another one from the film "Adaptation" (2002) with Nicolas Cage:
Charlie Kaufman: There was this time in high school. I was watching you out the library window. You were talking to Sarah Marsh.
Donald Kaufman: Oh, God. I was so in love with her.
Charlie Kaufman: I know. And you were flirting with her. And she was being really sweet to you.
Donald Kaufman: I remember that.
Charlie Kaufman: Then, when you walked away, she started making fun of you with Kim Canetti. And it was like they were laughing at *me*. You didn't know at all. You seemed so happy.
Donald Kaufman: I knew. I heard them.
Charlie Kaufman: How come you looked so happy?
Donald Kaufman: I loved Sarah, Charles. It was mine, that love. I owned it. Even Sarah didn't have the right to take it away. I can love whoever I want.
Charlie Kaufman: But she thought you were pathetic.
Donald Kaufman: That was her business, not mine. You are what you love, not what loves you. That's what I decided a long time ago.

So, I hope that helps. Good luck.

-reply by quentintarantado

iGuest

Jun 13 2008, 11:17 PM

I came here to find answers, but I'm still not sure. How can you tell if the person you might love doesn't know you exist? (yet) I thought it's probably a crush, but I think I'm showing signs of love.

-reply by Dreamer

iGuest

Jan 29 2008, 02:02 AM

How do you really know
Difference Between Love And Crush

Their is a girl that I have liked since the beginning of this year I am a senior and I am just really confused because of the mixed signs I'm getting from her some lead me on and some just say lets be friends and I was wondering if any of you could elaborate and help me out

-question by Mark

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