Hi guys, Im 22 and heres my story.

I a few weeks ago i ran into my old high school crush. The problem then was that she had a boy friend throught all of high school, we hung out a few times back then, but were really aquinteces. But anyways, so i ran into her at a local Subway resturant in the mall. She told me she was in a rush and to see her at work in front of a Department store. So after eating with my friends i head over there and i see she was working at a D.A.R.E. Booth trying to get donations for the charity. So, i had a nice conversation with her about how she was doing, since she just graduated from college, donated to the booth and asked if she would like to have dinner to catch up. So she took my phone and dialed in her number.

Later on the week i give her a call and i asked her if she liked japanese, she said she loved it. So we scedualed a time to go eat (she is a very busy person she litteraly works 70 hours a week.) So i take her to this nice japanese place. She really was impressed with the place and loved it. So we talked alot and i find out alot qualities about her, what she likes and dislikes. I took her home and we hugged at the end of the night.

So a few days later i give her a call and asked if she wanted to go, go karting (i took her out to here becuase i she told me she loves driving fast. These go karts arent any plain go karts where you would see at a amusment park, these are extremely fast, the type of karts you would drive in semi-pro go karting events.) she sounded extremely interested so we scedualed it for later on the week. so she calls me up that day and said she was getting out of work and would be ready at this time. however she sounded extremely sick, where she was losing her voice, and coughing so i told her over the phone that she sounded sick and it would be better to go out when she was feeling better so we rescedualed for a couple days later. That day came around and she gave me a call and she still sounded sick so i told her that we should do it another time again till she gets better. So she asked me how about the next day, i said i was fine with it. So later after that phone call i drive out to a local drug store i purchased a hallmark blue gift bag, a can of chicken noodle soup, and some medicine. I write a little note saying "get well soon, so i can kick your *arse* at go karting ".) i left it at her front door. I leave and i give her a call telling her to check her front door. So she opens the door and she seemed very happy that i dropped that off and what not and she said that she would definatly see me the next day. So anyways the next day rolls around and we go karting and we had a blast she was very competitive and really into it. afterwards we had pizza. now heres the thing while we were eating she said she had the pizza covered i told her know i had it and what not, and she said really wanted to pay for it. we went back in for for a short bit and i gave up. i felt really bad for letting her pay for that meal. but anyways. Durring the dinner conversation we she kinda lets it slip out that shes also see another guy. She said she didnt want to talk about him. so i probe in a little bit and find out its a co-worker. now she said that he keeps on calling her to hang out but she doesnt want to sometimes. She also said that she thinks he kinda wants more out of this then she does. and she says " i just dont think it will work out with him" (shakes her head in a no motion." So i walk her to her door at the end of the night and i get another hug.

So I plan out a great evening where I want to express myself to her, I know she LOVES latin dancing and what not. So planned out a private dance lesson for 2 and i got these reservations at a wonderful itailian place, and i wanted to for a walk in the park at the end of the night. where i could well maybe kiss her or hold her hand. This girl has been on my mind 24/7 once i saw her again. I have her so built up in my mind that i get so scared of her and im litterally afraid to do anything beucase i dont want to mess anything up. ive been nothing but a perfect gentleman, holding/opening doors for her pulling out her seat everything since day 1.

So heres how my evening turned out. We go to our private dance lesson she had a great time. It was fun and exciting and it broke some ice for me on physical contact. So after the dance lesson we drive to the resturant, and she gets this call from that other guy she was seeing also, she has a breif couple minute conversation with him and then hung up. Later while we were having dinner she was getting text messages from him. like none stop, she apologized for the interuptions and explained to me why she was getting these messages. Her Co-worker likes the guy she is seeing, becuase the guy and her are co-workers they have it as a secret so know one knows that they are "dating" so she gave the co-worker his number. and thats why she was getting those text messages it was related to that. She says shes not sure about being in a relationship right now, however i dont think thats entirely true. But anyways. That whole thing with this guy started bumming me out at durring dinner so i starting getting off track with my plan on how i wanted to express how i feel about her. So at the end of the night i didnt take her for a walk in the park or anything else. I did the same thing and i got a hug at the end of the night. However for some reason after this longer then usual hug There was this moment where in my mind clicked i should kiss here, however i didnt. So i believe i had a lost oppurtunity there. In retrospect we had a fun great evening dinner and dancing it was great. but it just didnt turn out how i wanted it to turn out.

about this girl: she is a fun, energitic girl, who is always cheerful happy, and highly intelligent not to mention extremely attractive columbian.
I really like this girl..........=(

About myself: I am a 22 year old chinese male who is still in college who works in retail.

Thanks for bearing through the whole story i know it was kind of long. but i figured you had to know the background to get some serious accurate advice.


I dont know what to do, my special evening didnt fall through and i want to really express to her that i want a more romantic relationship. However im scared that if i fail ill lose the chance to hang out with her and i really do enjoy spending time with her.
I want to know if i am now put into this "friends" category due to the fact im to frightened to do anything.
I want to sweep her off her feet, i want to get out of this whole. Is this still salvageable.
Who is this other guy to her? she she playing the field or is she interested in him.
Is she interested in me? I dont know what to do.
I figured the next time go out, Which im confident we will i want to know what i have to do, and i cant think of any idea's on what to do next. shes only available on late nights, and sundays however i work every sunday. we both live with our parents so me cooking her a nice dinner is out.

Im so lost. i really need help. Im never good at any of these things


Thanks for reading all of this. I look foward to any of your advice.

 

 

 

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it looks like you have a bit of a story on your head there.

well my advise to you, is to like ask her about the other guy and just try and get a sense if she is playing the ropes, or is really into it, but it seems like she really isn't into it. and just go for it. dont pass up a great oppertunity to be with the person you love.

although i am only 15 and my advise may not be as cruital to you as i feel it is, i kind of recently went through the same thing but on a short term thing.. to make a long story short, i liked this girl at the beginning of last year, and never got the guts to ask her out, and just today in school i found out that she did and still does like me now and she would have said yes, but the problem is now she has a boyfriend that she really likes..

so the whole point is, dont pass up on the oppertunity (sp) of love if it hits you in the face.

good luck.

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i been there too, i loved a girl for 3 or 3 years, figrued id stop pestering her to go out with me, then she gets a boyfriend, bit of a bummer...then i found out she really liked me and wanted to get with me but he asked first and for reason he got her. that hurts so badm still does and it was over a year ago, i will never forgive myself So ill say it too, dont miss an opportunity in life, i belive everyone deserves a second chance but it doesnt mean you will actually get one.

on a more positive note id say next time you go out dont try anything drastic... keep it so that you can explain it away if you need to, be really nice to her as you already are do all the thnigs a gentle man would like you said you do. compliment the way she looks, you can easilly explain that away as a freindly thing if she asks. as albus said probe a little about this other guy but as said it doesnt seem serious. When you take her home give her the usual hug but hug her tightly, as you probably already do anyway, and then give a kiss on the cheek. That way if she likes you it could turn into a propper kiss and if not say its a friendly thing and nothing more will be said about it. Then as time goes on drop hints that you like her and then tell her one day providing everything goes smoothly!

im only 17 so i dont have that much experience but just dont miss a chance!

 

 

 

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I guess the reality is your playing againist the other guy, and so-far your out-doing him well i say. However, she may be holding back to due a number of things, if she is busy with working and life, she she may be too busy for a relationship anyone.

I say don' hold back, forgot there is another guy, forget she is busy, keep the dating up, kiss her god damn!, and let her know how you feel.

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Well it seems like you got alota guy comments.... So I'll give you a girl's opinion.... First of all you have to tell her how you feel! I know every situation is different and it is very hard to find the "PERFECT" moment, but it WILL COME! If you dont tell her how you feel... after awhile she will get the impression that you are just wanting to be "friends" and nothing else.... so you ABSOLUTELY have to tell her....
Okay now that i have got that point across.....
Second thing is you have to get her gifts and stuff..... the chicken soup thing was great start... but u have to keep on with it.... if you ever get into her house look around.... Girls usually collect SOMETHING! trinkets, stuff like that.... you have to find out what she likes to collect... and get her something to add to her collection.....example.... i collect glass figurines.... ya know the ones you see in little glass cases in almost any store... well my bf gets me one every once in awhile.... and i think its so lovely.... but she may not be that tye of girl so you just have to find out what she is into.....
thirdly..... this may sound all romantic and mushy but RED ROSES!!!!!! i know i love them and i bet she would to.....
and finally...
you said she was colombian rite??? well... if she is into her culture (which she may not be... depends on who she is...) then find out more about her culture and get into it... you took her dancing and she liked it rite? well maybe you should find a CD of her type of music... that yall could dance to... and bring it over to her..... then instead of paying for lessons... ya'll could dance at one of ya'll's place (you also get more privacy that way)....
do these and im sure it'll work out

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