Broke Up With A Girl, Won't Leave Me Alone - she keeps bothering me

Okay, so I was going out with a girl, let's say her name was A. A and I dated for four weeks, and then we broke up this last sunday, saying that our feelings had changed for each other, and I think we should break up, etc.

Well, she took it very well ( I thought ). She was like "okay, I'm sorry we couldn't have worked this out.. yada yada." And then she called me on Sunday. She "just wanted to talk." So I talked to her for about 10 minutes, and made sure she knew that I didn't really want to talk to her, and it was kind of odd that she was calling me. I don't think the point got across very well though.. so I told her I had to go to sleep and get some rest for school..

So then during school, she texts me "what are you doing?" and I say "not much.." trying to not get a reply back, but five minutes later she says "It's raining!" and I ignore that. Then five minutes later, she asks that I meet her between periods.. and I ignore it, and later on after school she calls me and I answer reluctantly, trying to be polite and stuff, but not very conversational, and then I get off the phone after 5 minutes, saying I have to go out because my relatives are visiting for xmas (which was kind of true). So today, she leaves me alone throughout school, but around twenty minutes, ago I got a text message from her saying "bear, I miss you." and I replied with "bear?" and she said "it's my new name for you.. sorry it took so long."

So I ignored that, and thought okay, she's going to tone it down. BUT NO! I just got a message saying "I miss us."

I'm trying to be polite, but I really don't think "A" is getting the concept of breaking up. I don't want to be friends with her, and I'm not being friendly either! How can I politely tell her to let off of me? I feel like going insane.

 

 

 

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I take it she then doesn't respond to sentences like 'I do not like you anymore, can you just leave me alone, i don't want to be friends either. So don't call me or text me.'?

I mean there is also the factor she could be doing it to 'piss you off' or get back at you, cause to me if she is starting to miss you, then she must have had major feelings for you, then you say she took it 'Very Well' at the time?? That doesn't make sense for a female.... Maybe a female can verify that one.

Maybe you may have to not be so nice to her, i know its not easy trying to be nice, but get a point across too. Maybe you need to be so blunt as to say 'Leave me alone, don't call' and hang up on her?

Again, every time you talk back to her, she feels there is still a connection there, even if it is only friends or at least maybe sometime in the future getting back together....

Good Luck Mate ... Next its time to change numbers, and move.

 

 

 

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Maybe she just can't handle rejection very well. You could try asking some other girl out as soon as possible, then the next time she calls, you can tell her you have to go get ready for a date.

Maybe she just wants to stay friends, at least until she gets another boyfriend. Talk to some other guys about her, and see if any of them like her, then tell her. Say you think she should try going out with him, he likes her. And if she wants to stick around like just a friend, treat her like one - a male friend. Comment on other girls looking good, stuff like that. Just like you would do with a male friend. Talk about guy things like sports, and stuff like that. Comment that the perfect woman for you is one that.....is somehow very different from her, lol.

If you don't learn how to discourage girls that you break up with, they're never going to leave you alone. You could end up being stalked, lol.

It could be that she wants a boyfriend but is shy about asking boys out, or letting them know she is interested in them. Some girls consider it a status thing to have a boyfriend, so want to always have one, if possible. She could just be trying to hang onto you until somebody else comes along. Try to help her get fixed up with somebody else, if you can. Then maybe she will leave you alone, and not get mean about the breakup.

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Erm...from the female perspective, I'd say that it could be one of two things, depending on what kind of person she is. She could just really be crazy about you, and the taking it well when you first rejected her part is just her way of trying to make things easy for you, and then the change of heart and the clinging on to you could be because she really just can't let go of you, or maybe that her friends told her to keep fighting for what she really wants, which just happens to be you at the moment. If she was the kind of girl that always did what you wanted to do and always let you decide what to do and things like that, this would probably be it. That, or she's just trying to get back at you by bugging you to death.

If it was the second one, then yeah, getting her a new guy to obsess over like Earths Daughter said would probably be the way to go. If it was the first one, though, you're probably going to have to hurt her feelings pretty badly to make her leave you alone. If you don't discourage her though, she'll probably just keep coming after you, until it finally gets through to her that you really are over her.

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If she's not gonna listen to what your saying then you clearly need to go to the next level. lol. Not suggested. But one day bring up talk about how you got Ghonerea or however you spell it. And just do gross things. lol. Basically "howw to lose a guy in 10 days" movie plot but reverse it.

I think she knows you broke up with her. She probably just doesn't want to break up with you. Or maybe she knows and she's just playing with you. You got them never let go types. lol.

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I resolved the problem.. about two days after the post she gave me a not.



And then the same day I went to a small Christmas party amongst close friends. She called at around 10, while I was playing Twister, and I had left my phone in a different room. My friend Alicia answered the phone and told her off badly apparently. Alicia told me later that night she had called, and said that I needed my space, but I doubt it was as simple as that. "A" hasn't tried to talk to me since, and I feel a little sorry that we had to end in that way, but what happens happens. I'm free..

Happy Valentines Day!

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This is what happens when a girl gets too attached to a guy and wont give up to get the relatioship back together. Sometimes they feel that this guy is "the one" and don't want to give up on him. Other times, they feel that no one else will care for them and that they will die old and alone. Honestly I think they would need help from a school counselor to get out of that never-let-go problem without getting hurt badly.

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hey.. i read your post and i noticed that i didnt notice (hmmm...) you telling her "i dont want to talk to you anymore." maybe if you tell her to leave you alone, then she will. ignoring her like that isnt exactly helping you. besides, playing hard to get only makes them want you more!

i probably missed something

edit: i did miss the part you said you told her to leave you alone. gard darnut. ignore this post. hope you two work it out. err, in your case, dont work it out!

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girl said leave me alone...
Broke Up With A Girl, Won\'t Leave Me Alone

Ok, I need some help!

I met a girl and talked a few times, some going on, no touching, no sexual stuff, no dates etc... Once her sister -- my very best colleague -- asked me to travel for an Event. I find out shes sister will be there too, so I instantly said YES!

It was a long-long travel -10hours- by car. I made her to come to the backseat where I was seating. We talked a lot, had fun ..Went well...The "cross the line" stuff came when she used my legs as a pillow. I was ready for that, so let her to rest a bit...Only a few min. Later I started to fondling her skin, and she haven't stopped it...

We arrived the event went well..So we are back in the car again. She was into her pillow..But right on my golden part :)... The fondling started again, and she replayed...Was nice feeling..I was started to get going... So my hands slide into her jeans --it was night back to home-- but was a mistake, she was not ready for it..I was acting kind of childish..When the mother don't let the candy to the kid..A few min. Later she came back with fondling..And after a few min so m'I. We continue to do it, even our private parts, through jeans, but very erotically!

At some point she even told me that she like to smoke something with me...But before I answered --was kind of long of thinking 'couse I never did -- but before I said anything, shes sister said NO WAY! I don't know she was checking on me, but at this point I had a feeling her sister --my colleague-- a little jealous. That could be the answer of no way, but maybe she just wanted to protect her of smoking stuff...Anyway..

We arrived safely and instantly I asked her to go somewhere..But was a bad timing after a long traveling so I got an answer maybe another time...

I'm kind of a pushee man, so text her back..There is no other time...She came back there is always other time.. Seemed to me everything still ok.

So all after this, from next day I text her about going out to get to know each other..So I pick a concert she was not interested of the gender. Then I send some text..No answer...Later thanks to my pushee personality I made her to do so. We had a little chit-chat but nothing to get closer...

So the hole situation was confusing: is she waned to ignore me, or scared etc.. I ask her email add. She gave it to me, and send her a long email about she so special, one in the million, and looking to get to know her better...

///...Little more info, I'm 36 in a relationship over 15 years, no marrage..(pls don't hate me) shes with a boy too, since 1 - 1.5 years. My girl is 33y.O. Shes a little younger as mine girl, as I know shes about 27-28y.O, and her boy is 18! --when I find out, I told to her: hes a kido, and she had a face, I asked her..About, and told me her mom said exactly the same-- ...///






She emailed me back exactly this:

" Dear XXXXXX, there is no need to think about my silence...I know it's not nice but I thought you understand it...It's a sign! the sign of NO thanks! I'm fine with XXXXX...But as I see you are not the same with your XXXXX ... I don't want anything from you...So as you asked me I let you know: leave me alone pls...Try to be friend...But I think afterwards it won't work. ...But it should work it! "






I have a lots of Q, but firts, I learned a lot about body language, I'm cool type of guy, --I hope-- my job is in the fitness industry so people., --girls-- around me all day long, they like me...

--------------------------------
Is she really just playing around? Shes sister --my colleague-- jealous? --means she has a going on-- and not let her to get closer to me? Shes boyf./my girlf. Makes it complicated?? Shes just having a young boy(18) to show shes has, but looking around recently, but no serious plan after "that"? etc..Is she really mean that, what just happened as I wrote above?????

Sorry for my bad english, and please help me with your comments.

Thanks

-reply by sigets



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