Bad Relationship, Partner Trust & Cheating - Cheating on your mates?

When two people are merried or in commited relationship they should be faitfull, but if it is only girlfriend/boyfriend situation, why not do it with someone else if you like them too?

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While I accept the Bible as an authority and know it doesn't equate "partner" with "spouse" the simple fact of the matter is that "partners" do not have the bond to each other which marriage brings, which is why I'm surprised that they should expect any kind of devotion or commitment from the other person to them.

Personally I think it's precisely the sex factor that makes jealousy and the possession factor so heightened. The Bible says that through marriage a man and woman become one flesh, I think nonmarital sex creates something of the same effect but without the bond to each other. Thus the other person feels that a part of them is being used but without the bond the other person is not obliged to act as such.

Emotional "cheating" can still happen but I highly doubt most people will be as jealous, if jealous at all, if they're assured the other person is not sexually involved with anyone else.

You're other argument, that it's ok because the other person will probably do it is not an argument at all in my mind. It's like attacking another country because they "might" attack you. Doing evil is never right irregardless of what good may come out of it, the Bible makes that plain in Romans 3:8.

With your final paragraph, what if one wants to split up and the other doesn't? The Bible says divorcing is always wrong unless the other person was sexually unfaithful (fornication). You see, marriage means the two became one, and the Bible says that what God therefore has joined together, let noone break apart. Sexual activity for any reason other then divorce because of the other person's unfaithfulness is impinging on something that belongs to the other person-you.

That's what God intended marriage to be, a sacred bond where both people belong to each other, and what should make it so intimate. Disagree with me if you like, but I strongly believe that doing so is defiling something that belongs to the other person, no matter what some man-based court may say.

 

 

 

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No it isn't .... well, not the fun I have anyway ....

and you can have plenty of fun without acquiring an STD .... I'm certainly not advocating unsafe sex .... that would be ridiculous!

Cheerie .... ~M~

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When sex involves 2 or more partners how can it be safe? I read about how the latex gloves that are basically the same material condoms are made of can't keep the STD germs or whatever from going through them. They can go right through gloves and the safest way is simply abstinence before marriage (and it needs 2 people to work).

Anyway, it seems like that's a common misconception that using a condom makes it safe.... Any thoughts?

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See, I think you are trying to get into a theological debate. I never said that those things are not the values that I hold true to myself. I, myself, am Christian, thereforer, much of what you are saying -- I agree with. But I'm also realistic, I know that there are other people that do not follow the Christian faith. All of what you are saying will be null and void, as far as they are concerned.

And being that I am Christian, and therefore not allowed to judge others, I do not pass judgement on other people because they have pre-marital sex. That is their choice, and has no bearing on how I choose to live my life.

As far as the jealousy thing: I do know for a fact that just because you aren't sleeping with someone, does not eliminate the jealousy factor. So does the bible say that you cannot kiss? I know if I wasn't married and I was in a committed relationship with someone, and all we did was kiss, I would feel betrayed if I saw him kissing someone else. That's just the way it is. You can still have very strong feelings for someone even if you're not sleeping with someone. For example, King Henry VIII, divorced his first wife, and got ex-communicated from the Catholic Church, just so that he could marry Anne Boelyn, who he never got to have sex with until their wedding night.

And as far as divorce goes, much of those "rules" that you are speaking of are being taken out of context in today's world. So are you saying that just so long as a man doesn't fornicate, a couple has to stay married? So he can beat her then, is that what you're telling me? There are plenty of women that would beg to differ. Violence in marriage is definitely another deal breaker as far as I'm concerned. And if you want to tell me that I'm not Christian if I would leave my husband if he ever laid a hand on me, I'd ask you one simple question, "Who are you to judge me? God?" I think not. I refuse to let a violent marriage into my life, and would leave in a heart beat. No one should let another person endanger their life, even if they are married to him/her!

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Ok, I think you should stop relaying false information. If latex gloves can't keep STDs from going through them, I believe that doctors and nurses would stop working. I'm a new graduate RN, so I think I know a little bit about Universal Precautions and the use of latex gloves when dealing with bodily fluids. You can rest assured that if we healthcare workers were being easily exposed even after putting on latex gloves, or synthetic ones, we would probably stop working, and all patients in the hospitals would be at risk of contracting, HIV, HPV, or any other STIs, ok.

If you want to start spreading rumors about that, maybe you should tell everyone the safest thing is to not end up in the hospital, because all the nurses/doctors/healthcare workers will have been exposed to STIs, and will expose you too.

I think you should really start reading some medical/health journals before you decide to comment on stuff like this. Just a thought.

(STIs: sexually transmitted infections - the new "correct" verbage)

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Cheating in a so-called exclusive relationship I'd call wrong.

Seeing as the main ingredient in a relationship in my opinion is Trust, then breaking that 'trust' is pretty much breaking your relationship.


I thought STI/STD would be a NOUN.. lol

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I never said anything about it being a rumor, I read a study about it in a magazine recently, I think it was USA Weekend if I recall correctly. I did a search and found condoms don't stop HPV, although that's not what I'm looking for:

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2004-0...-warnings_x.htm

If I find it again I'll show you, if I'd known I'd be quoting it I'd have kept the article at the time.

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Christ said not to judge, He also said not to judge according to appearance but to judge righteous judgement? Why don't you explain just what you think He meant in both cases by the word "judge"?

The Bible says just lusting after someone you're not married to is adultery. I don't get what your Catholic reference meant, I thought we were talking about Christianity here...

Ultimately it comes down to whether you obey God or your own judgement I guess. You yourself say that by your own judgement you think God should have added another "deal breaker," but as the Bible says, let God be true, and every man a liar.

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The reason why condoms don't stop HPV, is because The HPV virus creates warts, therefore if you have HPV on let's say your scrotum, you can definitely pass it on from skin to skin contact. Only the penis is protected, the scrotum however is not. When in the hospital, though, I would definitely use latex gloves when dealing with any patient that had HPV, and that would protect my skin from contracting it. Do you understand the correlation? Skin-to-Skin contact versus blood-born/bodily fluid pathogens. They are two different modes of infection. So you are definitely correct, you can still easily contract HPV if you use a condom, only because the mode of infection is through skin-to-skin contact as well as blood born. If you have any more questions or are confused about something, don't hesitate to drop me a line. I would be more than happy to explain it to you.

As for the article that you saw, please post the article when you find it, including the source.

Thanks.

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