EnRohbi

Aug 18 2006, 02:53 AM

Ok then, let's start this off

Me, En, in online relationship. Me, En, on east coast of north america. Girlfriend, online, in Europe. Ocean big jump. Four hour time difference.

Anyway, I'm gonna stop typing like a moron now.
Anyway, yeah, I'm in an online relationship with a girl in Europe. Anyway...
We've been together for... Pfft, over a year now. Jesus XD

Anyway, just for a slight clarification of facts and because any little detail could be important here, I'm 16, she's 15. And no, I've never met her face to face. And yes, I'm taking this seriously, I definitely didn't just randomly wake up one morning and go "hey, let's find a girl across the ocean to date today =D"
I'd known her for like 6, 7 months before I asked her out, and had feelings for her for 4 or 5 of those months before I did too.

Anyway, hasn't been all -that- healthy of a relationship, sometimes completely miserable. I'm probably the last kinda person in the world to be in an online relationship... I have this mild case of paranoia and the lack of ability to control my subconcious... Kinda makes any little negative thought go boom and suddenly consume every feeling and thought in my body
But that's not what I'm posting to discuss XD

Well... Kinda...
Around, I dunno, June-ish, the relationship hit an all time low. Like, it got really bad for a few weeks there. Since then though, it's actually been going upwards. Other than little things, it's starting to go great, my paranoia is going down, problems are subsiding, it's getting, dare I say, good XD

Now, I've known since before I ever asked her out that the chances were gonna be smaaaall. I mean, the chances of any teenage relationship working out have got to be small, like... Below the 1% mark.
And the chance of any online relationship working out is likely even smaller than that.
So, y'know, the two of them together have got to go down well past 0.5, or 0.1% even
Yes, I like math a little too much, it's a fault.

Anyway, it's just been bothering me a bit lately, one of those things that just kinda tug at you.

What I wanna know is, in your opinion is it likely, or even possible in any tiny hope in hell of this working out? Like... Me getting to Europe, we not breaking up and generally doing the whole corny life together thing. I'm not asking for something perfect, just something that works and makes us happy, generally.

Oh
And try to include the whole money issue for moving to Europe, the whole education thing, the whole citizenship thing... you know, all those fun little things that are likely to get in the way :3

I've typed up that description twice in the last three days XD
It's starting to feel almost systematic describing my relationship.

EDIT: Oh wow XD Auto-censoreships... Gonna have to get used to this forum and... Start watching what I type

 

 

 

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EnRohbi

Aug 20 2006, 03:26 PM

QUOTE(roundball @ Aug 18 2006, 11:58 PM)

dude, no offense to you but you need to get out and go and meet real girls. if you werent 16 i would have given it some possiblity but the fact you are so young makes this impossible.

personally i do not believe in cyber relationships. how can that exist compared to the real thing?

I know real girls
I do have a little bit of a life, y'know.

Anyway
I know real life girls, I've liked real life girls, I've been in relationships with real life girls, and I've also turned down real life girls -for- the girl across the ocean. The fact is, that when it comes down to it, I'd rather be with the girl, who's across the ocean, than the girls here. I know physical contact is a big, big part of a relationship... But I didn't exactly make the conscious choice to have feelings for a girl across the ocean Just kinda happened.

I think it's possible, personally... As I mentioned in the original post... I know it would be a downright miracle for it to last... But I still think it's possible.

QUOTE

becuase of the distance between us, I feel like I don't know what she may be doing behind my back, and becuase it's not face to face relationship, you cannot be absolutely sure what they are saying is absolutely 100 percent true, so I get very paranoid and become a real hassle.

^Yeah, I know. I've gone through that, alot, alot XD
For the most part though, I can generally convince myself she's being truthfull. I mean, I do trust her, just a subconscious thing that takes the possibility of her lying and kinda... Escalating it past good points XD

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EnRohbi

Aug 22 2006, 09:56 AM

QUOTE(elevenmil @ Aug 22 2006, 01:44 AM)

Dude so you're 16 and asking about online relationships? You need to reconsider seeing who you can see before this.

People who are older and more desperate for having a relationship are usually the people we hear of, but in your case it's a little different.

Take things slow, you're right, it's pretty much a definite that this relationship won't work out, even if it does short term. You're young, so take advantage of it by looking for someone you can see on a daily basis.

I've thought of it and even tried it.
But as I said, when everything's all said and done, I'd rather be with the girl in England and not someone I see daily... I mean, it doesn't have anything at all to do with how far away they are.
S'just who I happened to have feelings for stronger than anyone near me.

And I'm in no way desperate for a relationship. Other than the fact there isn't even anyone near me that I have so much as a crush on, I don't wanna be in a relationship with someone unless I really have feelings for 'em.

Thanks for your opinions, though. I appreciate the honesty

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EnRohbi

Aug 22 2006, 05:25 PM

QUOTE(rldowling03 @ Aug 22 2006, 07:39 AM)

Yes, love is a powerful thing, sometimes you cannot decide who you love, if you are happy with being with someone who you may not even see for a long time, even ever. If you think you want to be with this person, dont be persuaded by what anyone may say.

Thanks for the enthusiasm :3

But yeah, I agree. I didn't make this post with any intent to let people change my mind or persuade me in any way. I just wanted people's opinion on the subject and if they thought there was any hope :3

There's only so far I'd go though
I'm not prepared to -completely- shut myself off from physical contact...

About the main reason I even considered an online relationship is cause I've wanted to move out of the country since like grade 3 so... At least there'd be no issue of who would move closer to who.
So unless we break up, there are very, VERY few reasons as to why I wouldn't be able to ever be with this girl.

And if anything did happen that would delay me meeting her by like... A long time, or ever.
I dunno, I don't know how long I'd be willing to delay it for.
But after a certain point I would have to end it if it ends up starting to pile on the number of yhears before I could meet her .-.

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EnRohbi

Aug 24 2006, 12:01 AM

QUOTE(brandice @ Aug 22 2006, 08:38 PM)

Being "paranoid" in a situation like this is never a good thing. What's happening is that your mind is filling in the blanks, right? You don't know what she's doing, you assume the worst. It's been 12 hours since she's replied... maybe she doesn't like me/is with someone else/ yadda yadda

This is unhealthy at any age, especially when you are so young. Having a need to fill things in means that you are making up a large portion of this girl's personality in your own head. I won't get into it in this thread- I think I have talked about my personal experience on this issue too many times on this board. I just need to tell you that I really know what I am talking about on this one.

You need to know that if it did happen that you ever were to meet, she's not going to be exactly what you think. There's much to much that you can't know.

You might not be interested in any "real life" girls right now, but keep your options open!

Ya, thanks for the input though.

The paranoia thing isn't just with her... It does it... With everyone in every situation... It has my entire life, i've just learned to live with it.

Thing is she's the only one I'd really care if my paranoia came true on XD

Anyway, I have, for the most part, gotten over it with her. Only with certain things that it starts acting up again... Like she's in Mexico now, visitting her father, and the first few days after she left were real hard >.< I was almost ready to jump headfirst itno a wall =D
But I calmed down, I'm fine now XD

And, I do kinda keep my options open... I mean... I'm not looking for someone or anything or running off at any crush... if I were to leave the girl in England it would have to be for someone who I really loved .-.

And just for the record, I have -really- been trying to avoid using the word Love here. Not because I don't believe I'm in love with the girl, I just don't want to get into the whole "TEENAGERS CANNOT POSSIBLE KNOW WHAT LOVE IS AND YOU'RE BOTH IMMATURE AND OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE" discussion that I've gotten into so many times before with so many other people >.<

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