Hey guys... I'll tell you first the story of my childhood... here it goes...

Well... Ever since I'm in elementary, I'm such a loner and I dont like anything. I am just living because I'm still alive. I dont like any kind of music, dont have any friends, dont like sports, and I'm not yet into computer stuffs. My parents are expecting too much from me because of my mental capabilities and that will be the problem...

My parents always beg me to at least get a life, they want me to have friends, they want me to be into some kind of music, they want me to play some sports, and they want me to get into some things to be my hobby.

Now the time comes when I'm in grade 5 (elementary here in our country is from gr.1 to gr.6 no gr.7 or whatsoever). I think am 11 years old at that time. I know that I'm not a child anymore and my brain or the way I think have matured. I got some friends now that are into playing counterstrike and starcraft and because I'm not into sports, I think it will be the best hobby for me (I think it is my passion now). The bad thing is my parents hates video games because they think video games are reason why childrens have poor study habbits.

In high school, I meet some friends that are into rock music, I listened to their music and liked it because I really dont like pop and hip hop/RNB. The bad thing "again" is that my parents hate rock music. They say that rock music is music by demons, devils, blah blah blah. They always shut the radio off when I'm listening.

I'm now in college taking up BS ECE, didnt choose to get my major subjects yet. I still want to enjoy my life cause I now have something to do with my life. I am into playing table tennis now, I've been spending at least three hours to play it. My mom always get mad at me when I'm going home late at night (well its not that late cause I always got home at 7:30 in the eveing).

When I got back home or whenever I'm not at school, I am always in front of my computer or a computer anywhere, sometimes I am in front of my television waching TV or playing playstation.

Now here comes the problem... I know my parents want me to get a life when I was a kid, but the bad thing is and the truth is they don't want me to get the life that I want. They want me to get the life that they want for me. They can't accept the fact that I am a human being, they don't have all have the powers to have a full controll of my life. They always want what they want, they don't care about my feelings, they dont have a damn care about the things that make me feel happy.

Here are the things that I hate:
1. They want me to go home after school
2. They are forcing me to review my lessons if I'm not doing anything even though I already reviewed it and even though I already know that lesson.
3. They want me to stop listening to Rock music.
4. They want me to leave my friends. They want me to choose the friends that they want.
5. They want me to stop watching TV shoows like Anime, teen series, MTV, and other shows that I like.

The worst thing I hate is that they dont want me to spend most of my time in computers. They say I don't need to know much information about computers because just getting to know how to use the computer is enough. They want me to concentrate on my studies. The thing they don't understand is that you wont get all the enough informations you need, you need to find all the informations you want to know. I'm into gaming now and into game hacking too, I'm also in GFX and web development. Anything related in computers and electronics is my passion. The bad thing is they don't understand that.

Another problem is that they are living in the old fashion way when the the child here in our country can't do anything about the descision of adults and children doesn't have the rights to express their feeling, childrens doesn't have any freedom, all adults have full controll over them. They always want them to be respected by their children but they dont respect their childreen. My parents always told me that when they made something wrong when they were a child is that they parents scold them or even punished them by hitting them with belts, stick, etc. The thing always on my mind is "I don't care and Why do I care about that", they can't just accept the fact that it has been over 20 years since they were a child and the things now are very different from the past.

I want you guys to tell me what to do with parents like this, I know most of you are from USA were you have the rights to do whatever you like and it is different here in our country.

 

 

 

Comment/Reply (w/o sign-up)

Hey fr0z3n,

Sounds to me like you have some very strict parents there - but you say this is normal for where you live? I'd have picked a college somewhere far, far away. If you live at home (and dont pay rent), and they are paying for your school, then its a tricky situation. Maybe you could strike a deal with them - you know, like "if I get an A on this test, can I go to the concert" type of thing. I suspect that this would only work if you dont mormally get A's all the time though.

Comment/Reply (w/o sign-up)

First:

What is the age of majority in your country? How many more years until you are that old, legally an "adult"? The closer you are, the more leverage you might be able to get. It can be hard for parents to realize their children aren't kids anymore. Also focus on what you are doing that they approve of: How good your grades are in school, etc.

Second:

The hobbies you suggest can be assumed to be "childish". I say that as a 26 year old Anime, RPG, and Queen freak. I know the levels that can be found in games, music, and "cartoons". Most people don't.

Is there any way to introduce your parents to some of your interests by finding varients they could be receptive to, but still within your genres? This sounds far-fetched, but I got my family a lot calmer about Dungeons and Dragons after the Lord of the Rings movies came out.

If you find something they don't find AS problematic that you still enjoy, you can also focus on that while around them, and try to limit your other hobbies to being with friends and when alone. This way, you can do what you enjoy, but still reassure your parents you ARE still "their" child.

For example, my grandmother is very religious, and wants me to be as well. I'm spiritual in my own way, so I start discussions with her about religion, try to be truthful in my experiences while avoiding areas I know would upset her.

Third:

Try to see things from their perspective.

Did either of them go to college? I'm the first member of my family in University, and there's a bit of pressure on me to succeed "for them", prove what THEY are capable of because they produced someone with that achievement.

Conversely, if they did go to college, it could reflect badly on them if you don't similarly succeed with your BS ECE.

They can be so focused on what's "best" for your future, they are blinded to the present. And they also have a point: If you don't spend the time now, it WILL have effects for the rest of your life.

But it sounds like you're doing good, so...

Fourth:

Their concerns Part 2.

The world WAS a different place when they were younger. They probably DON'T understand just how it's changed, and how it's continuing to change. Your knowledge in computers IS important, but because it's so new, they still see it as a tool instead of a whole new world.

If you've already tried to change their minds about this (Second suggestion above), then I suggest just trying to live with them.

What kinds of interests do they WANT you to have? Is there anything you CAN spend more time with within that list? You might be surprised; there might be something else you will be interested in. It's always good to have a wide range of hobbies; you're less likely to be bored. ^-^

Fifth:

Friends. This may be hard, but try to look at your friends from their perspective. Do any of them have bad habits? Drugs, bad grades, other problems? You do start to act like people you hang around with; maybe they have a REASON to be concerned.

What kind of friends DO they want? Can you find any of those with interests you share? It can be hard, but maybe the children of THEIR friends could be a source. If they already have a common link, they may be more accepting of their hobbies.

If not, treat friends as you do your hobbies: something you do without your parents, but something to be put second when WITH your parents.

And, VERY last:

If there's no way of getting your parents to understand why you're interested in what you are, I hate to admit this, but just wait until you're on your own. As with the first about being legally an adult, some day, you WILL be on your own, making your own decisions. If necessary, wait until then to do the things your parents don't want you to do.

 

 

 

Comment/Reply (w/o sign-up)

If you're really passionate about your lifestyle as it is, then you need to tell your parents how you feel.

If you can't confront them face to face, than my advice would be to sum up what you told us and write a letter to them about how you feel.

Whats the worst thing that could happen?

Out of curiosity, what country are you from?

Comment/Reply (w/o sign-up)

I know how you feel. I am probably much younger than you and my parents say they want me to do things outside of the house but when it comes time to do what I want they refuse to let me do it and want me to have friends but I cant hang out with them outside of school. So far i am learning to live with it and cant wait to go to college as far away as possible... in another state I guess.

Comment/Reply (w/o sign-up)

even i live in a country like yours but i dont think its bad ,what i would say is just keep co-operating them and be what you are the best thing you can do is make you as well as them happy,i know you feel to rebel and all but as far as my personal advice is concerned i won't advice you to go out and leave alone but just try to make things work out don't be negative about them ,be positive and work them out
first of all forget what has happened and try to sort out thingd now ,
the reason your parents take descisions for you is because they feel you are not mature enough ,so act very mature ,make them feel that you are not obviously dependent on them atleast emotionally and show the determination that you are capable of handling everything that goes with your life make some bold statements and then prove them
i know actions speak louder than words but both work definately the best
if you are average in studies than try to be above average and show them that you know how to be the best ,it would require some initial work, but it would work great
an easy way for you is just become financial independent and move out ,but i wont advice that its not worth
you need people to laugh with you ,
most of the parents don't like video games or computers because they feel you are wasting your time,
so first prove them that you are capable to cope up in your studies so that they won't take your gaming,computer or table tennis sessions as issues and would let you do whatever you want
just remember one thing that running from a problem is always easy but facing it and solving it is difficult but always fruitful in the long run

Comment/Reply (w/o sign-up)

Your parents are WRONG, man. You are RIGHT. You rock for not listening to them - I admire that. Set your parents straight. Tell them that you'll do whatever you want and they have little control over you. Either that

OR

kiss up to them like crazy.

Comment/Reply (w/o sign-up)