I Need Advice Pt.2 - the update on my last vent

i know this probly isnt how you make "additions" to another post but i dunno how to work alot of things ( I'm not good w/ computures) But the 1st post of this topis is here: http://www.trap17.com/forums/need-advice-t22194.html


any ways time for pt.2

Well the problem w/ my friend Liz w/ the drawing thing and art thief thing isnt that much of an issue any more because she hasn't been really attacking that as much (mostly because nothing new came up concerning that topic)

But what's more of an issue is, liz has issues. and i am her official scapegoat (she acctually told me this, jokingly because our other friends where around, but she ment it). well like i said last time, at first it never really bothered me. i guess it's just because it's been joing on for a while and i never really paid mind to it.

but for example: a few nights ago liz, laura, racheal, and me went to our other friend ashey's birthday/sleepover. liz and racheal were playing ping pong and i was really paying attention but when i did, something funny happened (like and unexpected mess-up) and a laughed a little at it 'cuz liz laughed at it too. but went i laughed at it she glared at me in like a full rage and just yelled at me how "because you're sitting there i'm not doing good ect. ect." so i didnt pay any attention to the rest of the game but liz lost and she yelled at/ blamed me for it again.

Well i sometimes dont think she hates me so much or maybe i'm just naive and a wishful thinker. but like they all went swimming and even though i could go and i had my suit i didnt want to and liz along w/ the others were begging me to join them. but i really didnt want to so i sat out and chatted w/ my friend who had just had her apendix (sp?) removed like 2 weeks ago and she couldnt go in and i kept her company.

so any ways, some people (from here) said that i should confront liz about this, but i never see the chance, or rather i try to get around to it but she changes the subject. i thinks she knows that i know but she doesnt know how much it hurts me now.

for example again: ashley's friend jenny was talking about a time when she went to a sleepover and fell "alseep" but heard some other girls talking trash about her and her friends. we where all giving suggestions and so on so i decieded to put my two cents in and say "well you kno it's not really the fact that they gossip or what they gossip about it's the fact that they dont have the gut's to say it to your face." jenny agreed w/ me. but liz made a coughing/ ahem noise and her and laura laughed. (side note: like i said b4 laura just goes along w/ liz cuz she afraid of her)

well that didnt really bother me so much cuz they were just being immature or w/e but later that night when i was trying to go to sleep it really got to me and it made me feel sick. so i didnt eat breakfast.

but what made me really concider if liz has any feelings towards what other people think/feel is when we where disgussing about an anime con we're going to soon. we invited her cousin heather and my friend kevin (not b/f... for now... i think) about 3 months ago and now she doesnt want them to go so other people that her and racheal invited a week ago can go. but that was dropped cause that was just completely rude.

another thing is heather invited one of her friends to go and liz got so pissed and hated her for it. i told her to put herself in heather's shoes and she just brushed it off.

well now i'm going to confront laura about it and try to work things out and eventually tell liz but any other adivice would be appreciated.

but b4 u answer let me just say that this whole issue makes me feel so sick some times i feel like vomiting ( but i havnt) and i dont eat alot any more and i sleep too much to were it's probly not good for my health.

and i dont want to lose my friends but if that's what has to be done then that's what has to be done.

 

 

 

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Hello Twilight,

I daresay I appreciate your feelings, and I understand that whatever you are going through cannot be easy. But on the other hand, no one promised life will be straightforward Everyone has to handle his/her share of struggle, perhaps this is yours.

I am genuinely sorry to hear that you're having to put up with so much trouble. I am sure there are people who can give you excellent advice, even I could throw in my two cents, and I really hope that will eventually help you out.

As far as I am concerned, I think I have realized that life is finite. You have only so much time, and it becomes, therefore, all the more important to spend that time in a way that gives you some vague sense of satisfaction, and a good night's sleep. I'd suggest you find ways of keeping yourself busy, and ignore everything else. Discover something you're passionate about (such as your drawing skills) and get obsessed with it. I'd prefer the obsession be with something inanimate, such as a hobby, that makes things simpler.

Easier said than done?

Perhaps. I have faced a lot of people talking about me behind my back sort of thing. I have always tried to distinguish between people I respect and people I do not. Once I have decided I do not respect someone, I choose to ignore everything by way of insult, advice, blackmail et al that comes from that person. Whether you have any respect for your friend Liz is really up to you to decide. Assuming everything you have said so far is an accurate description, if I were you, I would probably not have that kind of respect for Liz. Thereafter, you might want to decide that she is not worth the time you spend worrying about her, maybe you should just move on. If there is any amount of feeling left in her, perhaps you'll make up eventually, time wil tell. For the moment, quite caring about people who don't care about you. It might sound selfish, but a manageable amount of selfishness is not always a bad thing.

In the end, what really must matter to you is what you want. I know a lot of situations can be rather tricky. But you sound like someone who can handle it if you want to. Don't be afraid of losing friends, because friends worth having will not let go that easily I am not suggesting you become some workaholic with no time for relationships. But if you can keep your mind busy, things sometimes do become simpler. Try to spend more quality time with yourself and feel generally lighter about life. I'm worried if you're feeling bad enough about all this to want to throw up. Ask her to get a life, and move on yourself. Again, go with your own convictions, trust yourself I get the instinctive feeling you'll work it out on your own. Good luck!

Cheer up!

 

 

 

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Yes, I agree on this one, mama_soap, too. Life isn't always straightforward, especially when two or more persons is involved.

I must say that in my case, when my love line with my girl ended, I was suprised and shocked the way things ended.

I have been always a person who put others infront of me, meaning I was stupid enough and naive that I actually thought my good deeds will be resulting in good way for me and others. Maybe it was good for them, but for me sometimes things ended very badly.

Once I tried to calm some women about some stupid issue, I talked over with them and we made some conclusions. Few days after this conversation I started hearing romours I made some statements about this issue but in twisted way. So I automaticlly became guilty about things I didn't say. I never have done tis kind of mistake again. I took me several days to fix and explain things.

I guess dealing with people is hard work, cause some persons are so narrowminded I always seek opportunity to heal their weak mental reason, or they are full of fears and have bad self esteem. Been there and done that.

My advice to you is that you should start looking more for yourself, and try to keep some thoughts for your self and try to make a circle of true friends, I know this can be a true killer but atleast you will know who are the persons you can really count on. I know mine, but I lost also several who weren't true, but I don't care for them really, I have my circle, my hobbies and my humble life. I don't need more anyhow.

Hope this helps a bit.

Best regards.

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