Echo_of_thunder
Jul 17 2008, 03:21 AM
| | Okay all, Some may think that I am just a dirty old man but I am 46 and dating a 20yr, she and I started dating when she was 19. Her mother and I get a long wonderfully, she even calls me son. The problem is this. when we are out on a date people look at us like, what is this old guy doing with this kid. No they dont think its my daughter becuase she is Filipina and I am white. She and I are very happy together. The poblem we are both having is comming from other people.
I ask and plead with her to just forget it but she gets upset if someone just looks at us funny. She and I have never really had any fights, and we know it will happen one day, it is part of any realationship. But we do not want to fight over something as silly as how other people are feeling about Us.
So does anyone here have any suggestions? We really do love each other and are planning to marry next year. |
Reply
sonesay
Jul 17 2008, 03:38 AM
Dude you are the man, when I'm that age I hope to be still dating 20 year olds lol... No I'm just kidding hopefully I wont need to and I'm married with kids by then. I guess I would be one of those guys who look at couples with a huge age difference and think man that guys dirty and sick to be dating a young girl, why cant he find someone his age. Don't worry about what others think really I don't know you and her so we have no right to judge what is appropriate or not. Its still human nature to do it but it doesn't mean its right to automatically judge people I know its wrong but I still do it when I see an old guy with a young girl. I automatically think oh that guys a dirty, that girls just after his money I bet. So just don't care what people think and if they stare let them. I get stared at for no reason so I stare back lol just do that.
Reply
Ucrg
Jul 17 2008, 07:39 PM
Hey. Dude. You love this girl, and she loves you. End of story. Love isn't confined by the boundaries of age, race, or distance. Its the society thats made stuff like this taboo. So my advice is to talk to her, and make her understand that its her feelings that matter and not others'. So quit paying attention to others, just be in your own nirvana. Good luck!
Reply
bishoujo
Jul 18 2008, 08:43 AM
Yes, unfortunately, I'm also one of those shallow people who will probably look at you two and wonder why you're both together. But so what? You know the both of you and your relationship best, so why do you care about what the rest of us ignorant outsiders think about you two. In this world, almost everybody judges by physical appearances first. Of course, whether they'll change their mind about what they see later is another story. For example, if I didn't know you at first, I'd think dirty old man and sugar baby. But after knowing your story, I'd say 'Go for it!' I've been watching a korean comedy drama which has this old man and his son pursuing a woman (who is about his son's age). Like most viewers, I was thinking 'what the hell. Toad lusting after a swan's flesh. Give her up to your son. You're too freaking old!'. But later, I was touched by his attention and self-sacrificial mentality to the woman, which makes his son's 'love' for the woman look superficial. The woman was obviously touched too and she kept comparing his son to the father. If you truly love your girl, you won't let strangers affect you. The only people's opinions you should care about are your own, the girl's, her family's and your own family's.
Reply
Saint_Michael
Jul 19 2008, 02:58 PM
Yeah there is no way to stop the ugly looks from happening, just have to reassure her that ignoring what other people think about the relationship when they see you together. Of course to remain as unbiased as possible, who do you think is benefiting from this relationship more you or her? Yeah the age gap has plenty to do with it and I maybe jumping the gun here quite a bit, I don't think she could wait 40-50 years to date again. To be honest you have to do whats right for her and not as a couple, because if she can't get over the wierd looks because of your relationship then you will always have problems in your relationship. So I think really hard and if you plan on continuing this relationship you need to help her get over those looks, don't force her to get over it just help her get more comfortable with it.
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