THE YEAR'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2005:


CRACK FOUND ON GOVERNOR'S DAUGHTER

[Imagine that!]



Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

[No, really?]



Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

[ That'll stop 'em. ]


Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

[Not if I wipe thoroughly!]



Panda Mating Fails;

Veterinarian Takes Over

[What a guy!]




Miners Refuse to Work after Death

[No-good-for-nothing lazy so-and-sos!]



Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

[See if that works any better than a fair trial!]



War Dims Hope for Peace

[I can see where it might have that effect!]



If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly,

It May Last Awhile

[You think?]



Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

[Who would have thought!]


Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

[They may be on to something!]



Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges !

[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]



Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

[he probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

[Weren't they fat enough?!]



Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]



Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

[Taste like chicken?]



Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half

[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]



Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

[Boy, are they tall!]



And the winner is....



Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Very interesting indeed. I enjoyed reading most of those headlines. 'Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors' is one of the most funny headlines I should say?

By the way, where did you get these headlines? English is such a wonderful language that when the atmosphere is already created those headlines will actually make senses but when we have no background to understand they can only make non-sense and leave us laugh out loud.