Time is unknown factor to us. We are living in world. Universe is our ocean. We feel that we are surrounded by matter, most of which is known to us. But like other living beings, we don't understand, how and why. Most of those answers come to us by passing of time. Sometimes i feel, and understand my place. Like a small parasite trying to do my best in the take i understand for now. But most of my tries are irrelevant. As i understand that we already evolved. Communication is important. Most of the takes in which we tried to communicate have failed. Some went crazy, other died. Some even decrypted the answer, but now are stuck in belief of what's beyond decrypted. It is so hard to tell at the time you are trying to tell it.

New step of thinking is reversed time. Believing that it is possible to force the future to be like you want it to. But cripting memories so that they can be layed out for the future so that others can't understand them is hard. You need to dwell hard into your daily base. Also it helps when you don't mess around with other memories that are trying to reach future. But you know it is so hard. One can never tell are those memories already received and they just egzist couse they are well cripted, or are they so well cripted to be seen in future far far ahead. When seeing it, it's hard not to go crazy. Rarely memories are sane. Even lucid are weird, although hard to understand - they are clear.

I had few recalls, and done the best as i could with them. Although sometimes i feel hard even to understand ones that are generated by my life, i feel happy for helping others, who ever they are. Couse they help me. They leave trails to follow, which are not so hard to understand, and that makes me feel good. I know my couse is worth my life, and i'm continuing to work for it. But how much will i succeed. Is it going to be to hard. Am i going to break at some point. Are they gonna break me. Those are the questions which we face every day trying to push something that we feel is right to push. Choosing answers is always better than choosing questions, and seeking for answers is better than seeking for questions.

So far i lived. I did my best, and still trying to do much more. That belief is going to destroy me, i know of that. It's only matter of time that i'm going to sing. It's so hard. Fight. Fight and don't cry. Don't wonder too much, couse sometimes it's better to be blind on some things. Blind belief, blind faith. We need to prevail, and to get to the other side. When we do, happiness is going to come and last for a long period of time, which again will pass. Unknown power, and energy is the thing that pumps all of this. I'm trying to understand it, but you know. Hands, and eyes. Even brain. It's so complicated to understand that. It is even more complicated to try to write about it.

To be continued...