Things had been going a little rocky for my (ex!)boyfriend Matt and I for a few weeks, he seemed to be picking fights over the tiniest things and he was getting on my nerves as well. Looking back, I can see that it was probably his cheap way of trying to get me to break up with him, since he was too chicken.

About three weeks ago he comes to me with the idea of a "trial seperation" Now, I believe that "trial seperation" actually means, "I've been thinking of going out with some other girl but I know I'll go to hell or something if I cheat on you. so let's break up for a while and if it doesn't work out with her I'll come back to you."

I agreed, it seemed less messy than that whole breaking up and crying in a room with the guy for hours thing. After the initial shock for a day or two I realized something. Every person has a meter, it has to do with your self esteem and self respect, everyone has this meter inside that tells you how much crap you can take from another person. A lot of people ignore this meter because they think it's better to be in a relationship than to not be.

It's better to not be in a relationship than it is to be in one where all you do is try to ignore all the reasons why you shouldn't be together.

So if at the end of this "trial" he comes back to me (I don't care if he stays away forever... I feel so free!) I'm just going to tell him to get lost.

Has anyone ever actually got back together with someone after a break?

i have several several times with my current girlfriend and we have be together for a year now , and its practically the same way for us as well,but yeah thats a cowardly way to break up. hopefully he makes up his mind and the right desicion as well.

good luck.

whatever his desicion is, it's going to be overridden by mine.

It's sad, all of my friends we're like, "oh, he'll come back to you" They don't understand that I really feel okay about him leaving. I will admit though, that the few times he's called in the last few days I have kind of brushed him off. I
need to make it "final" and break up with him for good.

It's sad that girls have to base their feelings on themselves on whether or not they have a boyfriend or how boys feel about them. after the first few days of shock, I actually feel relieved to be rid of him.

Yep thats soO sad using a "break" to try some other girl and if it didnt work come back to you. i dont want to be somebodies *backup- plan*

well i don't like this kinda trial break up!

ya that is really sad. If you like somebody else more then you like the person you are going out with then sure its alright to break up but going back to the same person just because the last relationship didnt work. that just makes me mad.

Well, I don't think i gave him any real hope that he would be able to come back whenever he wanted. I totally cut him off and stopped talking to him. I finally let him come over last weekend. He was pretty heartbroken over me not wanting him back, I couldn't feel guilty though. It was a situation that he got himself into. One of the toughest things about breaking up is when the other person wants to have a long talk and go over everything that was ever wrong or right.

So now that that's finally over with, I feel totally free! Woohoo!

You probably already resolved this issue, since it's been over a month, but here goes anyway. Yeah, I got back with my boyfriend (who is now my husband) after a break up. We came together after finally admitting to each other our fears, etc. etc. I already knew why things happened leading up to the break up and it just took him longer. The funny thing is, that the break was his decision, and it broke my heart. After I got over the whole "calling him everyday" phase, I just decided one day that enough was enough, and I stopped calling. Two weeks passed and I was planning on moving and leaving no forwarding address/contact info (the sweetest revenge a girl can get on a guy ), when he called on my birthday. After that we took things really slow, and now we've been together for going on 6 years.

Moral of the story: not every guy is an a$$hole, even if he exhibited a$$hole behavior before. Just tread cautiously and use your instincts.

I never actually believed in trial breakups. I tried it once tho. My ex girlfriend and I were having a "not so good" time together due to studies because this major goverment exam was coming up. So she suggested that we take a break from all this relationship thing.

After everything had ended, I tried asking her back but unfortunately it didn't go well. She was already with another guy.

I guess that "take a break from this relatinoship" is just another way of saying "let's just break up"