Hi everyone.

I was just thinking about suicide, no, not commiting it. Because my friend is always talking about killing himself. I was just curious to see if any of you had any ideas of what I can/should say to him to help him, without making it worse. He has been speaking of it more and more lately and I'm just a little bit worried.

Thank you all for you help.

This post has been edited by JDameron91: Feb 23 2007, 10:10 PM

You're gonna have to be more informative if you want our help. What you provided is far too general to even know where to begin. What has happened in his life that he should be considering death? He must feel there's no meaning in his life anymore to be considering such a thing. But still, why...? Why does he think/believe that?

I think it's normal to think about suicide--it's a natural course in part of growing up, asking oneself "what does it all mean?" Whether the scientists attributes these thinkings as the biochemistry of the brain firing up electrodes causing it to trigger certain hormonal imbalance or a learned condition which derived from witnessing a social behavior, one thing is clear in that the difference between sane and insane is in the execution.

Perhaps your friend is unintentionally seeking an attention of some sort. Affection received from self-pity can be rewarding. And it can be addictive, too. I hava a friend who never has a good thing to say about her life. She likes it when she receives comments like, awww, I'm so sorry to hear that. It is her way of socializing with people around her. I guess this is the only way she knows how to be social or break the ice.

Sometimes an action is greater than words. Just being there for that person can make the difference. Carefully monitoring your friend's behavior and make him known that his friendship means a lot to you. Men tend to be more sociable through activites unlike our counter parts--women. I guess we still possess a primitive pack behavior. Confronting head on is less effective than blurting out during a happy hour at a local pub or whatever. Let's face it, we men do not talk about our feelings like Dr. Phil.

One thing I'd like to post is that you cannot be the savior to this person. One person does not possess the power to fix everything. Like the winter snow covers the fagile seedling, your friend will face many other crushing defeats in his life time. But when the spring comes and snow melts away, this seedling can survive if the soil is accomodating. Your friend must be able to find his own balance and foundation that defines him. You can help him to find that ground or supply the means of finding one. But you can't watch over him 24/7. Otherwise you too can grow weary and maybe forced to give up.

@truefusion: Sorry, his girlfriend is always mad at him he says, and she keeps threatining to dump him. His mom and dad split up, and his brother went to Iraq. That's some of the stuff he tells me a lot.

@buffaloHELP: Thanks for that post man, it was really helpful. He doesn't seem to be seeking attention, it just seems like he's deppressed more than anything, it's probably part of his "growing up" from turning 18/19 to 20. You know?

Thank you both for you help so far.

It seems the best thing to do is to just be there with and for him, whenever possible. Everyone may leave him, but he may acknowledge that you're here to stay. Be sad when he's sad, and be happy when he's happy. Sure, it's humanly impossible to be always faithful, but he may acknowledge your efforts in trying to be there for him. There's not much i can say, i've never had a friend that made it known to me that they were considering suicide.

I've never been in your situation, so I have no real advice for you. I just wanted to say, though, that it sounds like you really care about your friend. Good for you. I hope and pray that you keep caring and that your friend makes it through everything that's going on right now.

even if he just say it and don't really mean it.or even if he may seek for a little attention.I think you should take any chance.I think you need to help him and maybe talk to someone about it.you never know if he's going to do it for real or not.so If I were you I wouldn't take any chance.

Suicide for me is the worst thing a human can do. It is just pointless, is giving up but then you have no chance to try anything again. I just cant understand, what makes a person decide to suicide? no one knows what comes after death, there may be a worse thing that what that person is going trough but many people still do it. Im sure i will never think about commiting suicide, because i fear death

You should tell to your friend, that he can do anything else on his life rather than suicide, if he is planning to. Whatever problem he may be having now, will be resolved by itself with the time, this may be just a hard moment, but not a impossible one
Well, if you make him think about how much would affect his death to his family and friends, he will change his mind. But first make sure that what you think is right, he may not even want to suicide

Good points, guys.
I talked to him, he seems to have calmed down a bit, but any more ideas are welcome and I will use your guy's advice if he starts to do this again.