it has been so a long time i am been the member of trap17,it's now a long time from the January of 2005.at that moment i have got fired,so i posted a topic to talk the status of mine that time.now,I'm still being un jobness.it's abt 3 months.i just don't know what to say,--a school employyed me for just 40 eu dollars 1 month..i faint,what i just got from this job? three meals a day? anything else?
but i can't say to the boss" go anyway.." i can not find something fit me to do.when i am a student in school.i just learned nothing useful.i'm not a skilled worker or having a rich family,i have no enought strenthen to do the hard job in factory or anywhere.
now i'm sitting in the computers room of this school,everydays work is so many,but the salary is so low.i just worked 7 days a week no entire.10--12 hours a day.i just don't know why the status of mine changing so bad,my classmates no one is living so harder than me..it's a cruel world.i've no the strenthen body or energy,so i have been a weakness.when i login to the alumni of the internet i got so many things like someone married someone got the good carreier,someone went to abroad.faint,someone , or anyone is better than me.
now i just feed by my family my mother & my father,they are all so old , they only expect me to get a good steady job,to marriage but....what i can say to them " just say the society such unfair?" no..i have nothing to say, they are so good to me,brings me to growns ups,for my education from little to university they even give them all fonds holding for a whole life,when i am a 25 years old man,how i can treat them like they treat me?no..i have nothing to give,nothing,nothing.i just don't know why my life would remain why not ended? sometimes i just thinking ,waiting for an accicdent to end this all.but my family would so hurt by this.to be a human is so tire.not even just been a bird or butterfly,although they are live so little time but no one could controlled them,no duty would add to their hand.they freely fly,searching for the food the god give,searching for a couple the god give,just happily dead.how beautiful their life but how greyish of mine..

my advice:
don't take life so hardly... there are many guys who don't even have a job... there are many guys who don't even have a limb or an organ.. thank god you are in a healthy condition. look at what you have and be proud of it... look at life with a positive attitude and work hard to make things better... things will change soon! may god bless you!

i just wanna say that my health condition is not so good as you said,my heart always attack..so i'm not a good one ..i think god not bless me..

guangdian...

It is very sad thing,what you wrote...I can't believe that you don't have anything in your life which makes you happy.Everybody has some problems in their lives,everybody is trying to have some succes in this world,everybody is trying to live nice,to have a nice job,to have a family,a house with green grass in front...we are all trying to have this...but the life is cruel,like you said,but this doesn't mean that we stop to try...don't forget the hope is dying at the end.So,we hope,we live our lives,day by day...every day has it's own beauty,sometimes the peoples are so busy,that they can't see the beaty around them.Guangdian try,to see liitle nice things around yourself,and remember the little things are making our life,not the big ones.
I can understend you,I live in a very sad country,where is hard to live...I lost my father very soon,so I had to get work,to do kind of jobs,to earn some money,that I could study...I worked about 20 hours a day,at two places...and with time,I've got for myself a little appartment,today i have a job that i like with relative nice money for my job...but in the past,I was sad like you to...but I didn't let that the sadness take over me,I hope and i was believed in my self.

Please,thinkabout this...and don't let that the hope die,because then you will die to.