 Prologue. Advice?, A starting of a fanfic I wrote awhile ago. |
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  Dec 2 2007, 04:53 AM
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Newbie [Level 1]  Group: Members Posts: 11 Joined: 2-December 07 From: 54501 Member No.: 54,035  |
I'm trying to deciede if the plot is good enough to continure off of.
And some suggestions would be awsome. This was written a couple months ago. Prologue A seven year old Harry Potter sat perched upon the crickety edge of the notorious Black Pearl. He wore his hair long, to his waist, that ended with small silky ringlets caused by the awful heat of the caribean. His hair was black and seemed to suckthe light right out of the air. He had a cherub like face with wide twinkling Avada green eyes and full petal pink lips. His eyes were cold with his long black lashes resting upon his cheeks, that were painted a pretty pink from the crisp northern winds, despite the heat. He wore a white puffed up shirt that traveled nearly to his knees , where you could discern random rips and tears from years of wear. Over that he wore a short, waist length, faded green vest that fit his small frame snugly. Upon his muscled legs he wore faded black leather pants that hugged his small legs feircly and tucked into brown leather boots, who've seen better days by far, that ended mid-calf. He wore a small smile as he kicked the air at the edge almost greedily. He just absolutely couldn't wait for Captain Jack to come back and make everything fun again. He had left the ship for awhile to a city nearby, he should be back soon. He hopes. Harry's been traveling with Captain Jack since he couldn't remember. He was like the father he never knew, literally. The last thing he remembers of his reletives is being handed off to a nasty pirate, barely hanging on to his small life. Captain Jack always told stories of how he beat the nasty and saved him from a life as a slave. A creaking noise near the port alerts him to passers by, but what he sees isn't a villager but Him. "Papi!" He cries. It's a "Jack Sparrow raises HP whoe's a beautiful cherub boy who falls in love with SS" kind of story, one of my fav kind of plots and you don't see much of it. Hope to get feedback and maybe some watchers? It'll be posted to my livejournal if anyone's interested in me extending it to multi chapters. Kero's LJ linkage. update: Okay so uhm I just read through my story you know, since before I didn't really beta it or anything and it sounds like Harry is like 14 or something, but he's really not. So I dunno. |
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