self-esteem

I look in the mirror and all I see is an expressionless face looking back at me

People say im beautiful, but all I see are the mistake and flaws that seem to follow me.

I want to be the girl I know inside; the one I always seem to hide

But she's too afraid to show herself; she doesn't want to end up feeling left out

How can I change this, make things right?

I don't know how much longer I can get through the night…

How much longer I can put up with this disgrace I've become

So many things I regret that I've done

All I want is to be accepted, to feel like everyone else

To stop feeling caged inside, and learn to be myself

How can I do this? Seems like I'll never know

Seems like im running, out of places to go…

Don't know what to do now,

Or the meaning of all this

Does the person I want to be really exist?


Untitled

my feelings inside, i cant understand
dont know what to do, i cant handle this anymore
dont need these feelings, dont need this guilt
i thought i could deal with them, but once again they have over powered me
taken control of me, changed me once again
made me re-enter the dark world i keep trying to run away from
its not possible, because that dark place is me
a place i created with in myself, never to be destroyed
my prison, where i am held captive and alone with my thoughts
the things that have occured in my life,
oh how many times must i be here, how many times will i feel this way
i long to get away from it all, to find something more
so many questions i ask myself, not sure how to answer them
not sure if i want to, not sure if i can
can people see me for who i really am?
who am i?
im not sure anymore, despit what people think of me
they could never define me, for how can you define something unknown?
once more a question unanswered, to keep me company in my little world
my little world of misery and dispare
its so cold here, im so cold here, but i cant be reached, nore be saved
no matter how hard ive tried...this place cannot be reached by others
i wont let them in, i cant let them in, for then they would see the dark side of me
maybe they already see it, i cant be sure, for this place has taken me
but i cant risk it, i cant risk them,
for they to may be trapped inside my world
and that is something i could not do, i life i cant aford to risk...
this world, dark place i live in,it already has me, it wont get to the ones who care enough
who care enough to try and save me,
no this dark place will never get them, till the day i die i will never let them in
nore let the dark out...
this is who i am, i have to accept it, no more questioning it
this is the end of hope,
the end of me


Undifined

feeling alone, wanting to go home
no one to talk to, no one to love
wanting to cry, but not knowing why
feeling confused, i think ive been used
cant handle the stress, now i confess
cant make it all alone, no point in going home
trying to hide, my feelings inside
there taking me under, they want to be seen
what should i do? i feel so confused
cant handle this stress, can fix up this mess
the mess ive become, so far from myself
so far from the girl i once thought i knew
i used to be strong, i could handle the truth
now i am lost, in this world i cant exscape
i want to run but i cant change my fait
who am i now? where do i go?
so many questions, the answers?
unknown

Confusion
Ever sence the day we met
I promised myself i would never forget
Never forget the way you make me smile
Never forget the way you read my thoughts
Never forget the way you look into my eyes like you know everything
I've never had someone who cares as much as you
So much confusion though and not knowing what to do
The look in your eyes drives me crazy
The smile always on your face that makes everything seem ok
The feel of your touch when you hug me
All these things keep running through my head
All through the day and right before bed
Im not sure what to say now, im not sure what to do
Im sorry i can't help myself, i think i fell for you<3


Depest Sorrow
Sorrow So Sad, It Makes You Cry,
Pain So Deep, You'll Wan't To Die,
Love Unseen, So Cruel, So Mean,
Broken Hearted, Yes Thats Me!
Friends Who Hurt You, No One Cares,
Family Members Who Just Arn't There,
Love So Close But Yet So Far,
Lonlyness In The Dark,
Broken Hearted Yes Thats Me!
People Say Thing You Should'nt Hear,
All The Secrets You Quietly Fear,
Love Unnone, Unseen, Unheard,
So Many Rules You Need To Learn,
Broken Hearted, Yes Thats Me,
Broken Hearts Is All I See,
Come A Little Closer, Then You'll See,
The Broken Heart Thats With-in Me.


Happy 6 Months
Whoever thought we would end up here, six months have
past, so soon so dear. With each day that goes by i love
you more and more. With each day that goes by i realize
you are the one i truly adore. There are no words to
explain what my heart feels for you now. You are my
whole world, nothing could compare, to the comfort and
love each day we share. Spending my life with you
is what i was meant to do, feeling these feeling with you
is a dream come true. You fill me with such a joy i just
cant define. Theres something in the way you look at
me that lets me know we'll be just fine. Theres something
in the way you hold me that just seems so right. So no
matter what happens, i know we will be allright. Until
the day i die i will always be true, until the day i die i
will always love you



Happy 8 months

For all the times we've laughed and cried
And all the times i tried to hide
You have always been here for me
You have always seen what no one else see's
You love me through the good and bad
Being with you is the best experience i ever had
You make me laugh even when im blue
Theres no words to say how much i love you
No matter what i'll know you'll care
Something tells me you'll always be there
To hold my hand and walk with me
To be the perfect man for me
I'll love you more than you'll ever know
I never want to let you go


These are just a few of my poems and there are more to come! Hope you enjoy