A Perfect World
M Chesney

In a perfect world, we'd all be taller,
we'd all be smart, our cars all larger.
We'd call to work, sick most everyday
our boss would agree, we'd still get paid.
Women would come, in hoards and flocks
and cook for us, and suck our *****s.
We'd laugh and sing, we'd have great fun
we wouldn't worry, about ****ing everyone.
Noone would sue, we'd all just win,
except the jews, Daverham's kin. (1)
The president would be smart, and texas would burn,
in a lake of fire, until they learn,
if you cannot speak, and you cannot spell,
you shouldn't lead our country, you should burn in hell.
But we don't live, in this perfect world,
at least until now, of this i'm told.
Because i can planeswalk, and i found a place
that everyone can live, and be the same race.
This place I call Mitchland, because it sounds cool
and I'd be the president, cause at least i'm no fool.
And bush would be, the public gimp,
for people to kick, and call a simp.
Cause i hate bush, and he should die
oh crap, i've just been tagged by the FBI.
But back to Mitchland, the place of dreams,
the place where beer runs thru the streams.
It's great, I swear, because the creator took great care,
and no not god, the gnomes of underwear. (2)
But before I can let you in, to your mansion abodes,
the king of Nigeria needs your SSN and security codes. (3)
Oh, you heard about that scam, you are all smart,
unlike those idiots, who did; their brain is a fart.
And they're not welcome, and if they come,
I'll hit 'em so hard, it'll knock out their mum.
Oh, and the rules on sex: sex is free,
there is no pill, and comes with tea.
Because if you actually want kids, then take the pill
it works differently here, there's no fetal kill.
And man on man sex isn't allowed,
but lesbian sex is highly endowed.
Enough about sex, how about crime?
It's certainly low, and forever all time.
Because if you ever cheat or kill or steal,
we'll cut off your balls, you'll eat them as a meal.
What about education? well there's no Kansas here, (4)
if you teach intelligent design, I'll kill you, my dear.
For I told you the gnomes made this place,
it was not a god, so get out of my face.
Equal rights for all, except for Bush (now pronounced Boosh)
who can just keel over, that stupid ****ing douche.
Oh, and politics... are not on the menu,
I am the king, so I comand the venue.
But don't be detered, I am right and just,
but I'll smote you all, but only if I must.
I believe in free will, and Mitchland is great,
so you better like both, or you'll be put on a stake.
If you want your voice heard, just send me mail,
I check it everyday, and respond without fail.
Email me if you want in, but IMs work too,
if you want to be selected, this you must do:
You must be a hot lesbian, with bronzed skin,
if you are not this, you will not get in.
Yes, i'm proud to say it, Mitchland is a world
of all lesbians, the numbers are untold.
And I am their king, like Hugh Heffner but better
because instead of a robe, I wear a sweater.
I'm the Mr. Rogers of sex, with wine in hand
wiping the old world clean, with my loving hand.
But they all love me and do me on command,
though I am a man, I am one they can stand.
But where are the gnomes? where did they all go?
They are the sterile midgets, they are part of the show.
Yes, like the Man Show, but much more funny,
because Mitchland is real life, and I do the bunny! (5)
Not some old man who pays them for their pic,
I am the strapping young gent with the 18" *BLEEP*.
So come one and all, apply without heed,
I only have 18 now, 100 more I need.

1) Daverham is a name for a friend that we make fun of for being jewish and saying he'll "sue you!"
2) Gnomes of Underwear is a reference to the Underwear Gnomes of SouthPark.
3) That Nigerian King scam where he has a billion in frozen assets and needs you to help him get it. all you had to do was give up all your bank info.
4) Kansas is teaching Intelligent Design.... WHYYYYYY!?@?@?@??!?!11/2
5) Playboy Bunny