 How Would You Treat A Relative That Has Slashed His/Her Wrist, I would like some suggestions. |
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 Jan 11 2008, 10:38 AM
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#11
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Premium Member  Group: [HOSTED] Posts: 190 Joined: 4-December 07 Member No.: 54,168  |
I honestly wish sometimes that I had a brother who cared enough about me to want to stop all of the problems in my life. But I don't. My situation is a little bit different than your sisters, but I wish that my family were normal and atleast tried to help me.
You sound like you really care about you sister, and not just that, it seems like you care about your family too. Your sister is lucky to have you there for her. |
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Jan 11 2008, 11:01 AM
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#12
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Super Member Group: Members Posts: 208 Joined: 2-August 07 From: Ontario, Canada Member No.: 47,468 |
I would risk getting screamed at to find out what is going wrong inside of her. No matter how you approach her she will probably be emotionally guarded, but, you can, with sincerity, get her to open up.
Perhaps explain to her that from your perspective, she is losing herself and her identity because of these people who do not belong in her life. Perhaps give her examples of how her life has gone to crap ever since she met them and this will force her to think for herself about it and make the connection. Compare her REAL friends with those she is currently associating with, or even better, get in touch with her real friends if possible and maybe they can help you give her a wake up call. There's no way to avoid confronting the issue, and her personal wellbeing is at stake here, so try whatever suggestions you feel may help, and even if they don't, point out to her that at least you love her enough to try to help. |
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Jan 11 2008, 11:04 AM
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#13
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Premium Member Group: [HOSTED] Posts: 190 Joined: 4-December 07 Member No.: 54,168 |
This is probably going to sound really horrible, but the way you described your sister is the way girls act when they feel they don't get enough attention, or want something to go their way. She may be trying to impress someone...Or even worry someone...It may have worked
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Jan 11 2008, 10:53 PM
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#14
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Member [Level 1] Group: [HOSTED] Posts: 68 Joined: 7-January 08 Member No.: 55,865 |
QUOTE(strange-garden @ Jan 11 2008, 05:04 AM)  This is probably going to sound really horrible, but the way you described your sister is the way girls act when they feel they don't get enough attention, or want something to go their way. She may be trying to impress someone...Or even worry someone...It may have worked this is also true, in a world like today some people want attention, and all the people who have attention sometimes have lots of problems, and so some people act or GET problems to try and pull away some of that attention |
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Jan 15 2008, 06:34 PM
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#15
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Newbie [Level 1] Group: Members Posts: 22 Joined: 15-January 08 Member No.: 56,299 |
QUOTE(GaiaZone @ Jan 8 2008, 11:22 PM) I have a sister, and it wasn't until the mid of last year that she started hanging out with some weird people that were a bad influence on her. She's only 14 right now. She needs help. Maybe not seriously , because I can't judge if I don't really know. ''emo'' is an emotional state , when ussually a family tragedy or somthing that affects them greatly leads them into depression and dark thoughts. It takes a hit on your tolerance too. I had a friend who was emo , but he isn't any more. I wouldn't say emo is a lifestyle though. I think you need to steadily make peace with her. Do something if she asks you , change the tv channel when she wants , don't argue with her. Emo is usually a phase , although not a moderate one , it will eventually fade. It takes varying amounts of time for people to get over family losses and other tragedies , so another reccomendation would be to give it time. If she does it partly for attention seeking , then she'll grow out of it and begin to resume normality. Try not to let yourself or your family respond too much , it just fuels it .To help you understand my situation, I'll explain the whole story. My sister was a normal girl until she turned 14. Her favorite color was pink, she always wanted to look beautiful... you know, the normal barbie stereotype of person. She started hanging out with some of the seniors that were rockers. She started to get involucrated with that type of environment until she reached the "emo" area. Those guys were the real bad influence. She started getting depressed all the time, sticking scissors in her door, fighting with everyone and isolating herself from the family. One day she had a fight with my parents, which forbid her from going out, and left me in charge to keep an eye on her. That night she cut her wrist with one of her scissors. This might not seem such a big deal, but all this happened in a few months, which is a VERY short time span for such a drastic change. Before, she wore pink, dressed to impress and was very social... Now, she dresses like she's going to participate in a circus, all black or with unmatched colors and hangs out with the "emos" only. She has stopped talking to her old friends. Everything is an issue with her, I really don't know how to approach her anymore, every time I do, I end up getting screamed at. Everyone in the family is tired of this, it even got to a point that my dad said that she was not going to go out with the family until she started dressing like a girl and not a circus freak. Any suggestions? I hope i've been some kind of help =/ |
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Jan 26 2008, 04:44 PM
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#16
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Newbie [Level 3] Group: [HOSTED] Posts: 48 Joined: 25-January 08 From: Team Gnarfard HQ Member No.: 56,852 |
QUOTE(Liam_CF @ Jan 10 2008, 05:44 PM) Hopefully this is just a phase that she will pass through. All you can really do is hope that she'll see sense. It appears that she has set her mind that she wants to be 'emo' and nothing can stop her. Trying to force her to change will only make it worse. Believe me I take from experience that the sensation urge never goes away. You always want to cut, I've quit for about 4 years now I get the urge to cut every single minute that passes by. She'll want medical attention immediately, I see my psychiatrist every week, she helps me with my self-esteem and emotional problems. If she has set her mind that she wants to be 'emo' and nothing can stop her. I had to see the light that cutting was wrong and evolve to change and better myself. She also has to. |
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Jan 26 2008, 08:21 PM
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#17
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Newbie [Level 2] Group: [HOSTED] Posts: 31 Joined: 15-November 07 Member No.: 53,095 |
this is hard to deal with, but the real thing to know is that people deep down want to be happy, people can enjoy cutting their wrist, but they know its not what they want to be doing. so talk to this person, be open, honest and ready for a flood of emotion to come out of that person. the key here is to create an area of free open communication. the person should not have to feel that they need to lie or dress things up. they shouldnt have to fear some sort of punishment. just talk with them, they probably have tons of problems to let out, and tou have to make sense of it, if you decide to let yourself get angry with this person then they are just going to close back up and shut you out, and go back to cutting. however people, depending on their own way, like to be open and understood! exploit this fact and listen, listen, listen, listen and show that you care!
one problem i see with all this is the task of getting the person to talk about it in the first place. this is tricky and requires you to actualy know the person, if you dont, do so. go out and spend time with the person and learn about them untill they open up to you. even if you cant stop them from cutting in one day you should be able to convay that you care and want to help. in any case this will take time, and should be approched calmly. and with an overload of understanding and willingness to learn. |
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Feb 17 2008, 06:56 PM
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#18
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Newbie [Level 2] Group: [HOSTED] Posts: 37 Joined: 17-February 08 Member No.: 58,001 |
Emo's aren't all bad. Well, the "I'm gonna' cut my wrists" thing is bad. :S
If someone in my family decided to go Emo on me, and start cutting their wrists, and isolating their self.. I'd have to get them some help. I'd call a helpline or something. Tell them to see a counselor. Where'd this Emo thing come from anyway? |
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Mar 7 2008, 07:23 PM
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#19
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Newbie Group: Members Posts: 8 Joined: 7-March 08 Member No.: 59,000 |
Depression is a very difficult thing to go threw and wether or not she is just going through a phase or is actually depressed the best thing for you to do is just listen. Whenever you try and talk to your sister you say she always ends up screaming at you, thats a common reactions because she probally feels like your working against her and not with her. If you can show her that your on her side and seriously take an interest in what she has to say and whats on her mind, you might see some improvement. She doesnt want to here that shes emo or that she dresses like a freak, she doesnt want to be excluded from family outings and she doesnt want to lose touch with her family. whatever made her cut her self in the first place obviously ment alot to her. so just show your support and im sure things will get better.
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