How to deal with separation and breakup after catching girl cheating
Dealing With A Long Term Relationship Break Up

Ok here it goes, basically I found out that my girlfriend who I though I was going to spend the rest of my life with and have kids with was living back with her ex husband. I knew for a few days and then confronted her with it and broke it off. Since I have found out a bunch of lies but my heart and mind say I still love her. If she truely hates me and thinks I'm psycho would she pick up the phone?? I am bi-polar and this isn't making it very easy. After I broke up with her I got pulled over for driving on a suspended license and so while I was in jail she came over with a police officer and took all her stuff and took things from my house her clothes and other stuff even though I asked them to leave because they were trespassing and I didnt want them in there and the officer still allowed her to procede she even got on my computer and deleted all pictures of us and my digital camera and picture frame. As well as beating me out of money that was owed to me. I knew something was up because all the time we were together I never met her daughter or ever went to her house so I am assuming she is still married or something either way I am gonna let him know about us for the sake of his heart because he sounds like a good guy and to save him the same pain. But my heart is crushed and the pain is intense right now. What should I do? Should I stay away from her if she tries to come back? What should I do?

-question by John

People are inherently selfish.
Dealing With A Long Term Relationship Break Up

Replying to RockinTheCasbah

Same thing happened to me after almost three years together. Lying woman told me she didn't want to be in a relationship at all, and she resented me for the fact that I helped her get a job in Canada and that we worked for the same company meant that she couldn't talk to me at work. She was a 'private person' who cared what other people thought.

Well, turns out that it only applied when it came to me. She moves out of our apartment immediately after getting landed immigrant status. Finds another job three months down the road and posts that she has a new boyfriend on facebook. Her new boyfriend turns out to be a coworker. This and she still has half of her stuff in my apartment.

I got played. Selfish little girl.

-reply by Trust is for chumps.

i know what your going though
Dealing With A Long Term Relationship Break Up

It hurts I know I'm still hurting I dated a guy since I was
14 years old and now I'm 18 (4 years ) and it hurts so bad we broke up
More then a month ago and I was the one who drove him to brake up with me
Cause I was just sick of him treating me like **** but I reget it cause
Now I'm feeling this was and now he has another girl that basically

Perfect he still tells me he loves me and he always will but its just hard to be in this
State of mind I hope you get better I really have no advice for you

I just wanted to say I know what your going though and it hurts maybe We can get though this together .

-paris

-reply by paris

breakups are hard
Dealing With A Long Term Relationship Break Up

Me and my partner have been together just over 3 years and have lived together for 2 years. He has alot of stress at the minute from work and various other things including me. So yestarday I was talking to a friend at work, telling her how he has been treating me over the last few days, basically just unintrested in the relationship, then I come home from work and didnt say a word to him as he was busy writing his letter for a job promotion. He come in the bedroom and says its not just me but other things aswell, and I just know straight away he means about the way he has been latley. So anyways we ended up talking and alot of tears were shed on my part, but we talked about breaking up and stuff, and it was hard...Its was real fu**ing hard, I have avoided telling him I love him in emails today like I usually do, because he sayss that I say it way to often, but I also want to try and distance myself from him so that when we do break up, I will already have started the greaving process. We have come to the conclusion, that we are going to see how he feels about us after the stress has died down, and if he finds he still wants to be with me then we will just have fun untill july as I have a job offer abroard starting in july, its a job I always wanted to do and as soon as we were on the rocks I started looking as it is the first thing I would do if we broke up, but I gave up a good oppertunity in france 2 years ago, and once I told my partner, while we were having the breakup talk, he said I should go do it, don't let the oppertunity pass me by, and go an do it for me, and he would be so proud.
So thats what is going to happen I think.

Just a peice of advice that I have been thinking about latley.
Someone said, or I read somewhere and it is so so true

'once you stop crying, you will be thinking to yourself that he/she was a great partner, the best you could wish for and all the bad stuff will be clouded by your great memories, but just try to remeber that you did break up for a reason'

And its so true. I'm thinking now about all the good stuff and I don't want to think about any bad stuff, but he has flaws and he did do bad stuff.

Break ups are hard, but lean on friends for support, everyone goes through them. First break up is particualy hard, because I don't think I ever felt a pain like I did last night. And I'm just hoping I get over this soon

All my love
Jen
Xxx

I understand how you are feeling
Dealing With A Long Term Relationship Break Up

Replying to RockinTheCasbah My name is dana and I am a wreck right this minute. My girlfriend of two years officially left me for another man yesterday. Words can't describe how amazing the relationship was, as bumpy of a road as it was. A month ago, I realized I needed help, I have some problems but nothing that makes me any less of a great person. I told her I needed a short break so I could get help for myself and she fully undestood with a little hesitation, but who wouldn't? Stuff went alright for a full month, and I see she started get a ride with her co-worker and I knew something wasn't right. Sure enough she was seeing him without telling me and she made in official yesterday. My heart sank from where it was, to the tip of my toes. I'm finding it hard to eat, hard to feel, hard to breathe, and hard to stop shaking. I lost the other half of my life, and I don't know what to do.The pain is unbearable, can anyone be of help to me? Thank you so much for reading this

-reply by Dana Frobel

Getting dumped for a fantasy
Dealing With A Long Term Relationship Break Up

Hi, I had been dating this guy for 5 years, yes 5 years! We had just celebrated our 5 year anniversary. We were in love, a love like no other. We hit a rough patch a couple of years ago, but now the realtionship was amazing.
Recently, out of nowhere, he told me he wanted to have 2 bisexual girlfriends!???? What the hell? Talk about a bombshell! I thought he was kidding, but he let me know he really wasn't. He said "Why would I be kidding? It would be fun no?"
The thing is, I'm the only girl he's had sex with. And I've always asked him if he felt he was missing out on something because of that. But he always said no.
He left me because I said I wasn't bi, and that I didn't want to do anything with another girl, and I didn't want to watch him get it on with another girl.
I know you're all gonna tell me he's a idiot and has unrealistic ideas, and that it's better this way. But he really was an amazing guy. And we were together for 5 years!
Well since he's a guy, I know he's gonna get right back to the dating scene, and I can't picture him with another girl. It makes me feel sick!

Anyways, I just want to know if this has ever happened to any ony you before, and what should I do? I'm really heart broken. A big chunk of me heart is now gone, and there's not much left...

-reply by Broken hearted

being involved with a married man
Dealing With A Long Term Relationship Break Up

I have been involved with a married man that I didnt know that he was married, for the past two years and last month his wife called to ask about the relationship and I admitted it to her and I broke up with the boyfriend but now I cant take him out of my mind I feeel so used and like an idiot. What should I do? I feel like going to see him and smacking him as hard as I can so that next time he will never mess up with inocent ghirls like me while he got his family.

-reply by mamoseme

Me and this guy were dating for about 8 months and everything was good. He told me that he loved me and he wanted to be with me for the rest of our lives. I was madly in love with him until one day I went on his myspace page and saw he had a picture of another girl on there his reasons for her being on there were my cousins did it I don't know who she is. But she left a comment on his page stating how much she loved and wanted to be with him. It turns out that she is one of my friends sister. So I knew everything about him and her. I confronted him and he went off on me saying that I didn't trust him and we couldn't be together anymore. But I kne