You know sites like that exist ?! I've seen some but exactly as you said, I didn't get back there...

Step eight: Don't register top level domain names
Top level domain names cost money, plus they really don't do anything for you. Save the money and use a free sub domain or try to mask it with a .tk or .co.nr. Trust me people like the extra ads these solutions ad to your site.

Step nine: Music
Why bore your visitors with silence when you visit the website. Have some music playing. But you don't want your load time to be affected by this, so use MIDI songs, they are much smaller in size. Your visitors will no longer be bored!

AND FINALY

Step ten: Advertise your site
Alright so now you've got the worst website ever, so now how are you going to get users to come to your website? Be sure to spam random message boards with the links to your website. The admins will be honored that you chose their forums to advertise your website on. Go into IRC channels and post the link. Email all of your friends about your new website and perhaps start a chain letter (Add "Forward this to 10 people or a polar bear will come out of your nose and rape you" at the bottom of the message).

After doing these easy ten steps you can be the proud owner of a truly effective website.
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I've never laughed so much in my life, i acctually thought you were being serious for the first two steps!

To think that some idiots are acctually going to follow this guide, the MSIE, Ads and Java make me laugh so hard!

This is great!

wow the first time i read this i was like what is this idiot talking about because these are the things that i alwyas found anoying on websites then i realised that this was not how to make the best site but how to make the worst wow man am i an idiot. but i agree. since i learned HTML&CSS those where those stuff that i was thought to hate (except javascript but i like the PHP better but that's a different story).

LOL this is very fun! and albumfreak, i know u don't mean that.

Well.. you forgot 1 very important feature of an animated site.. use <marquee> !! That's not much to load, so you can put as much as you want in your website, without that you have to care about bandwidth..

Let texts move, let menu's scroll while the user scrolls, and add everywhere an: 'Add to favourites' button, even ask it when they leave the site!!

Sure it works..

very well said man. as experienced designers, it can be easy for us to forget the mistakes weve made in the past, and we dont realize that not everyone is a proffesional designer. that 3/4 of the people creating websites have never done it in the past

Well this are the MOST basic things that a decent website must have.
The other interesting features, are up to us to add in

NIce tutuorial. But the persion who wants to know about a website and start developing it will be deceived by your tutorial.. Possiblity.
You should have taken some time to explain more about the basics and need for a website... Even doing it now will not harm though...