First of all i would like to thank awniii for you awesome response, and everyone else also ty all so much. ok Awniii first of all yes i very much agree about the wole dr. thing ys think she should have been taken in for a second opinion way back in april, my family is a little weird in this way, that I really didnt knwo much of anything at the time when she was sick back in april i knew she wasnt feeling well and that was pretty much it, we are pretty close but my mom is weird like that whenever she was ill if she could get away with it she would not really say anything to me she never wanted me to worry. I had no idea at the time i am just finding all this out about her appts. I also knew n the back of my head though that something was wrong, but my mom had me convined that she was fine and that she ws loosing weight because of depression over my grandmother and that she knew it wasnt good and she was dealing with it with her dr. I do also very strongly agree with everythign else you said, I believe you were rigth on with the self healing and positiveness, and i also very much believe in your energy does not die wiith your body. But knowing all this and believing just doesnt seem to be making this any easier. and i know that probably nothing will. And de4thpr00f Yes I have over the last week been seriouley considering seeking physciatric help just to deal with everything i have going on right now. I dont want to end up experiancing all the depression my mom went through the last thing i need to do is make myself sick, from stress and worrying to much. Thank you all again.

yea, i figured it wouldn't help, but i just wanted to let you know people care out there, even complete strangers and you're not alone. as far as your mother....my wife is the same. i can just kill 'r sometimes because she such a hard stubborn woman but when there is a serious issue when i find out, i have to put killin' her aside. your momsounds like a special woman that loves people.....and a giver. nothing may help right now, but remember this. your mother isn't dead. i didn't mention this before but i have a bit of a scare in me too right now that my wife has cancer. 1 doctor says yes, the other says no, but can turn in to cancer and the test results are taking forever to come in.

it's funny remembering what you said in your original post that you didn't want anyone to take pity on you or feel sorry. i'll bet $1000 that those would be your mom's exact words in this case. you're close to your mom, yes.....probably the same way i suspected your mom and grandmothers connection.

i know my wife lost her mom several years ago and still isn't over it. they had a very strong connection. it's sad sometimes for me to know this because i want her to feel safe and not alone and not scared or sad. she even knows the spirit doesn't die and our loved ones are still around, but it's not the same, i know.

anyway, again, you have a stranger as a friend here whenever it gets too hard and need to release...

Well things are going about he same here, Mom is having her good days and bad days mentally. I have been spending all the time I can with her. I am having some health isses of my own I need to worry about. I think it just may be stress but I am not sure. I have not bee able to sleep at all the last few weeks not more then an hour or two at a time, I try I lay in bed at night and try to sleep I am tired constantly but just cant seem to sleep. My husband seems to think it is stress also and that maybe it caused some kind of insomnia. I am thinking myabe monday I will go to my Dr, and see what he thinks because i knwo this is not good for me.