Yeah I feel that my smallest brother is getting too "not" punished whenever he does something wrong.
Maybe ONCE in a while we get so mad at him he gets to know it! But ... 5 minutes later it's the same sh1t...

Why? I try to yell at him but he won't listen to me, and Mom simply "ignores" it all, and Dad's not there usually...

*Sigh* I can practically foresee his future as a punk, criminal, or just plain *BLEEP*. No offense but he can be so "annoying", "greedy" and will always refuse to say "sorry" if he does something wrong.

Nor does he ask "nicely" (the whole "Can i please have *something*" deal).


SO PEOPLE - DON'T GO EASY ON THEM , OR THEY'LL GET WORSE AS THE DAY GOES! He's even beginning to become rude to my parents... (aka HIS parents )

Parents should actually PARENT their children.

I'm tired of the lame excuses. I've heard parents claim that they don't want to hurt their children's feelings. Some parents have said that they're "just being kids" when they do rotten things (like pull the dog's ears...or smear peanut butter and jelly all over the wall...et cetera).

People who do not want to step up and do their jobs as parents should not become parents in the first place. The child needs to be trained...taught how to be a civilized human being. Parents who don't teach their children to become decent adults...well...they're failing those children. They're encouraging the brats to become bigger, brattier adults. And then those monsters are inflicted on the rest of society.

I agree. In our country, we have a saying, "Anak na di mo ngayon paluin, bukas ikaw ang paluluhain" (The child you did not spank today will surely make you cry someday)

Really, I think some parents quite dumb for shunning corporal punishment. I think they need to seriously understand that children aren't quite refined individuals yet. As such, the language they understand will be one of reward and punishment, not moral and philosophies.

Of course, however, I am aware that corporal punishment can have many different outcomes.

(1) The parent becomes abusive. This happens when the parent fails to distinguish the fine line between righting a wrong and nitpicking. For example, it is perfectly alright to spank your kid for moving too much, disturbing the people around him. However, you know it is already too much when the parent hits the child for simply shifting in his seat. As parents, no, as humans who once went through childhood, they should know the limitations of a child.

(2) The outcome is not the one expected; fear, instead of discipline, is instilled in the child. I think this one happens when stupid mothers leave the punishment to their husbands. "Oh no, you broke Grandma's vase. Just you wait 'til your dad gets home." As a result, the child associates punishment with his dad, instead of his own wrongdoing. My psychology professor suggested, based on studies done on la brats, err, lab rats, that punishment, if implemented, should be done as soon as possible after the "crime" In other words, parents should spank their child the moment they learn of a mistake.

(3) The child grows up fine, with a firm sense of discipline. As a matter of fact, the child grows up under authoritarian conditions and become authoritarian himself/herself. Or, the child grows up to rebel, not understanding that his parents did not hate him. Nah, actually, I'm just stereo-typing but don't you think these children usually grow up to be policemen, soldiers, school teacher or principals or the epitome of their own parents?

(4) The child grows up fine, not perfect, but fine. For example, Mermaid711 has a strong idea on acceptable behaviors for kids, or humans, in general. She know perfectly well, like any perfectly educated person should, the limits on what is acceptable behavior and, as such, recognizes the fact that some kids need to be disciplined. I'm sure each person has his/her own beliefs on what is right and what is wrong but most of you will probably agree that humanity has a general set of rules that delineate acceptable from rude behavior. Most certainly, it is undesirable to nudge other people's butts, right?

There are advertisements in television that irk me, especially those of milk. The story usually begins with a toddler who like to eat fried chicken. The problem? The kid's not eating a well balanced diet. The solution? This so-and-so milk that has all the essential nutrients from all the food groups. Methinks those are terrible advertisements in that they promote leniency, no, laxness in parenting. The way I see it, the problem: the kid's not disciplined/trained to eat his meals properly. The solution? A sound spanking, or other, more colorful discipline methods.

On a side note, our country has other forms of punishment, aside from spanking or sitting in the corner. My mom has often regaled me with colorful stories like parents who make their children kneel on a large basin of rock salt, gravel or munggo beans. (Each bean is about as large as a ball bearing, kneeling on a bunch of 'em for extended periods is supposedly painful) Also, whilst kneeling, the child is made to stretch her arms out on both sides. Depending on the version of the story/movie, books may sometimes be placed on her palms and on her head. I'm only too grateful my mom hadn't thought of personally introducing me to the experience.

In any case, the point still remains and I only serve to re-iterate it: Parents NEED to discipline their children through corporal punishment.

Children generally need to get punished. Its an obvious way for them to learn wats right from wrong. Although you have to remember, some of their just little kids who ate too much sugar

Corporal punishment, when done correctly, is not harmful to the child.

If you go and whale away on your kid when you're mad, then you're probably being abusive.

But if you go over the rules with your child, and then tell him exactly what the consequences will be, he has the choice of obeying or disobeying. If he obeys, then he should not have to worry about being punished in any way. But if he disobeys, then you, the parent, had better make good on what you said would happen in that instance. Otherwise, the kid doesn't believe that you'll really do anything to him, and will continue doing what he's doing. And later he'll do worse things.

Oh, I agree completely!!
(and I still can't believe you are only 13!....so much common sense for so young a mind!)

Nothing is more annoying to me than to be in a store or restuarant and have brat kids running amok and screaming and just generally being a pain in the *bottom*.

The problem is, if you whack your kid in public, you can be sure that some whiney, bleeding heart will turn you in for child abuse, and child services will come knocking on your door. Many parents are afraid to spank. The brats can run to their school counslers and tattle on their parents, and believe me, the parents are going to be guilty until proven inocent when it comes to child abuse.

Spanking should be used. Much more than it is now. Children need to be taught right from wrong. Time outs, verbal repremands, and other politacally correct garbage just doesn't work sometimes. Give 'em one, "No, don't do that" and when they do it again, swat 'em on the *bottom*.

Hmmm... I seem to be getting that more increasing ly not only from you but from the world around me

Yeah I totally agree! It amazes me when people around my parents' age come up to us in public and say "Oh my God, your children are behaved so well!" Well I say to myself, "WELL DUH! WE WERE SPANKED!"



Well the whiney bleeding heart person can kiss my behind for all I care. I do not deserve to be punished for instilling basic behavioural instruction in my child. And if you do not have proof the child is abused, by law they can not take the child away. They should be smart enough to figure out that children are sometimes confused about what goes on in their world and what goes on in reallity. And if my child ever did this.... ohhhh the spankings... oh the groundings.... oh the dinners with out desert....



Amen.

And the other thing that I believe is just as bad if not worse, are the parents who spank their children, but soon after turn around and say sorry. It's just as bad as not doing anything in the first place, pluss it teaches the child nothing... RAWR!

I have 5 kids and I spank. My parents spaked, my grandparents spanked, etc and we all turned out okay. We all have good jobs, friends, and no criminal records. Take a look out there at adults who were never spanked (if you are wondering where to find them, they are usually found in prisons). They are the opposite. The problems are that there are few "parents" nowadays. They choose to be friends instead. Children need parental figures in their lives. They will have plenty of friends. They need to feel disappointment and how to cope with boundaries and friends cannot teach these things like parents can. . . . just my 2 cents.

I beg to differ. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with parents being friendly with their children, if, and only if, they do not renounce the responsibilities of parenthood. For one, my mom and I are very close. Granted, she raised me well (she spanked me as a child) but it does not mean that she is always cold to me. Au contraire, when I am behaving, we find it a lot easier to communicate with each other. The same is true between my mom and my sibs.

I honestly think that being parent and friend to your kid is beneficial. If someone were just a parent, they'd probably say, "Gary, let's have the talk," and things will get awkward from there. If, however, you consider your parent your friend, it'd be much easier for them to say, "Nikki, let's talk about boys."

This, methinks, is very beneficial in that pubescent kids are given the knowledge that they really need, instead of having to seek it elsewhere, possibly in more unsavory sources such as porn mags, movies, the internet, etc. What is the point? I believe that, on some issues such as sex, it is sometimes better to approach as a candid friend than as an authority figure.

Of course, it's not always limited to sex, but I'm just giving you an insight to my personality Take smoking, for example. Don't you think the words, "You shouldn't smoke; it's bad for your lungs," are convincing enough? How about, "You really shouldn't smoke, trust me on this. I used to smoke once, it my college days... *blah, blah*...and now there are a lot of things I couldn't do 'coz I've burnt most of lungs."

Ah, anyway, I'm getting off-topic here but I'd just like to offer my two cents that parents should really be parents, but it wouldn't hurt if they're also friends

At salamangkero:

Some people do not know where to draw the line between being a friendly parent, and being just a friend. I respect your mother very much because she actually knows what she is doing and I wish all kids had a mother like that.

What i think seanfoster meant is that many parents think nowdays like they did when they were kids. "Oh spankings caused me sooo much pain when I was little, so I'm not going to do that to my sweet little angel!" And BAM! You have an undicaplined child.

As for the talking about sex thing... hmmmmm being a pubecent thirteen year old myself... "the sex talk" was incredibly akward. But it is very much needed. Especially since schools are corrupted and can not teach "those" sorts of things properly without being yelled at by some whiney parent. But even in that case, our sex ed instructor said an infamous statement in wich I will never forget how hard I laughed, and how much trouble I got into laughing at it "Sex is fun and it feels good. Don't do it before your married, but it is wonderfull and it feels good." Now why would you tell that to a bunch of kids with raging harmones?

Hmmmm smoking... Both of my parents smoked for a short time and they both quit. My mom doesn't sing as pretty as she use to... but she still sings well... My dad I don't think it affected him in anyways very much. But the extremity of the side efects of smoking vary by person, but you should just be smart and not do it at all... it turns your teeth and fingers yellow and makes your breath stink.

Anyways, back on topic. It is important that you spank young children because pain is primitiave enough for a developing mind to understand. However, when a child is about my age you can stop spanking and start grounding, especially since everybody my age wants out of the house alot. But in one of salamangkero's previous posts, it is very undesireable to have a five year old's head littery nudging you in the behing, and haveing him lie down in front of you in an already crowded place.

Your child will not turn out perfect. It's physically impossible, bbecause we all are sinners, weather you believe in God or not. But he/she will turn out fine, take me for example: When i am angry, I tend to pick apart the flaws in the person/object who made me angry and start name calling. However, even though i post in "The Vent" a lot, I am generally a happy person and rarely intentionally offend anybody. But we all have our flaws and that is what makes us who we are. But we can AVOID flaws with corparal punishment in early childhood.