 A Sudden Long Term Relationship Breakup |
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 Feb 20 2007, 11:47 PM
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#11
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Newbie [Level 1]  Group: Members Posts: 11 Joined: 19-February 07 From: Everywhere Member No.: 38,902  |
QUOTE(communitykat @ Feb 20 2007, 11:32 PM)  It may make you feel better to tell her the whole story. At least then she knows the whole truth and can make a decision based on that, and you can go on knowing that you gave it your best shot. Breaking off an engagement is a huge thing. My "husband" and I have been engaged for 5 years. Yeah, that's a long time. We made a date for last fall...but he forgot. I know this is not the same, but I think the effect is the same. You crushed her like she is crushing you right now. Even if you did get back together, the event will always linger in her memory and she will be second guessing whether you really love her or not. You must have had some serious second guessings to call it off. Also, did you talk to her about your feelings before you called it off. Maybe a real heart to heart conversation would have dissipated your fears, but if you did not talk to her, then you have in a way disrespected her, not trusted her, and betrayed her love. Think about it, it was almost like you were saying, "Well, I could take you or leave you, but you are not important enough to me anymore, and I don't even think I have to, or want to discuss it with you." That HURTS BAD. Did she deserve it? Because, and I know you already feel bad, but you did deserve it. Love is a hard thing to nail down...what is it, how many different kinds are there, and why do we want it? Hopefully this experience will give you some experience to go off of with ALL OF YOUR FUTURE RELATIONSHIPS. No doubt there will be many. I echo myself from a previous post when I say. Don't have sex with the people you date. It allows you to date many people at once, fool around and REALLY SHOP AROUND. We talked over why I was calling it off and slept comfortably next to each other that night. I thought at the time she'd understood and was willing to wait for me... |
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Feb 21 2007, 04:47 AM
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#12
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Premium Member Group: Members Posts: 196 Joined: 25-October 06 Member No.: 32,173 |
theres no real good advice i can give...rather inexperienced. but don't let it get you down for too long...its natural to be sad, who wouldn't..they'd be devastated...but make sure you pick yourself up and move on.. it may have been your fault...or it might not have been...maybe she had a boyfriend before that but couldn't tell you? there are too many uncertainties..try not to put all the blame on urself..u were scared, its normal...u weren't prepared maybe..if she couldn't wait for you a little longer, maybe she wasn't the one for you = \ i won't say i know how you feel...but i'm sure it sucks real bad. for the time being, do what you can do to get her back, you really do want her back don't you? if not, try to get yourself up and about again. being down in the dumps doesn't help at all. things will look up for you in the future, and you will find you too special someone that you can share the rest of your life with.
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Feb 21 2007, 11:36 PM
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#13
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Privileged Member Group: Members Posts: 570 Joined: 5-July 05 From: Ballarat Member No.: 9,042 |
Advice probably already been given, however i'll say that all the advice given is only going to help you slightly, you need to help yourself and think what is going to help you through this crisis. There is no point trying to cover up your feelings as its only going to hurt you, and everyone knows you have been hurt, just go out have fun with friends, go home be sad but dont be stupid and do anything to yourself, so many peopl get so depressed and we wonder why so many accidents happen. Any good luck in the future! - Life goes on!
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Feb 22 2007, 04:56 AM
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#14
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The Ethical Hacker Group: [HOSTED] Posts: 1,174 Joined: 27-May 05 From: Portugal (Europe) Member No.: 7,566 |
Forget her now, just stop thinking about her, and the best trick for that is to go out with another girl, beleave me, no women is worth suffering for, so get smart and go on with your life, there are billions of women in this world, and you will most certanly be in love again, i am sure of it.
Another thing, if you decide to fight for her, you must show her that you love her more then the other guy, so you will have to come up with a plan, like a plan to do your daily stuff, conquering a women heart, again or not, is always a difficult task, but then, you can and should only do it if you really love her, like real love, and not pation or something like that. Either way, it is going to be somewhat difficult either to conquer her again or to forget her, my advice, forget her, you will be in love again in no time, that i promise you. |
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Feb 22 2007, 10:54 PM
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#15
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Privileged Member Group: Members Posts: 570 Joined: 5-July 05 From: Ballarat Member No.: 9,042 |
Are you female Lyon2? I ask cause i believe there may be situations where this is clearly the case and in this case though i have to fully agree with you. She being the one to break your heart then don't sit and suffer because of her, i'm sure she has probably found someone else by now.
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Feb 23 2007, 03:27 AM
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#16
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The Ethical Hacker Group: [HOSTED] Posts: 1,174 Joined: 27-May 05 From: Portugal (Europe) Member No.: 7,566 |
I am a man (male), what could ever make you think that i could be a woman?
Sorry, but i am now very curious to know! This post has been edited by Lyon2: Feb 23 2007, 03:27 AM |
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Feb 23 2007, 06:33 PM
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#17
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Newbie [Level 1] Group: Members Posts: 11 Joined: 19-February 07 From: Everywhere Member No.: 38,902 |
QUOTE(Lyon2 @ Feb 23 2007, 03:27 AM) I am a man (male), what could ever make you think that i could be a woman? Sorry, but i am now very curious to know! (chuckles) I guess they think that your advice was feminine...I thought it sounded pretty sound. |
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Apr 13 2007, 03:08 PM
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#18
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Newbie [Level 1] Group: Members Posts: 11 Joined: 19-February 07 From: Everywhere Member No.: 38,902 |
QUOTE(Lyon2 @ Feb 22 2007, 05:56 AM) Forget her now, just stop thinking about her, and the best trick for that is to go out with another girl, beleave me, no women is worth suffering for, so get smart and go on with your life, there are billions of women in this world, and you will most certanly be in love again, i am sure of it. Another thing, if you decide to fight for her, you must show her that you love her more then the other guy, so you will have to come up with a plan, like a plan to do your daily stuff, conquering a women heart, again or not, is always a difficult task, but then, you can and should only do it if you really love her, like real love, and not pation or something like that. Either way, it is going to be somewhat difficult either to conquer her again or to forget her, my advice, forget her, you will be in love again in no time, that i promise you. You were right, you know... I did fall in love again. Thanks for the advice man....It really helped. (salutes) |
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Apr 16 2007, 02:05 AM
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#19
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Privileged Member Group: Members Posts: 570 Joined: 5-July 05 From: Ballarat Member No.: 9,042 |
QUOTE(Lyon2 @ Feb 23 2007, 01:27 PM) I am a man (male), what could ever make you think that i could be a woman? Sorry, but i am now very curious to know! lol Sorry, just your reply sounded like you had jumped into the mind of a female and spoke what they want and need. If you look most males says stuff like, "if you give her this and that and from my expereince she'll like you this and that" but you were soo difinite that is what she wanted and it just sounded like you were. But, my mistake. 
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