all the time im depressed, i can never think of anything positive...and ....i dont really know how to write this.
i used to be so social now i just talk to my boyfriend and stay home.
i dont really see the point to living at all really....what does it acomplish?? so i dont really want to be alive.
i spent most of my time panicing about everything alot of the time it gets uncontrollable and i just start shaking and being very irational. i cant have sex any more it makes me want to throw up....which is making everything worse cause my boyfriend...is a guy and they can only think with one head at a time lol but he has put up with this for over a year now so he must be a keeper...
um..i want to get help but ,then like i am write now, i tell myself that prolly everyone thinks this and everyone thinks there problems are worse then they are. and im just over reacting....i have no self esteem or confidence....everyone at work thinks i am a *BLEEP* cause i hardly talk to them but really its cause i dont want to say anything wrong or anything like that. and my boss just makes it worse by pointing out the fact that i am 2 mins late for work and even if im not late she point out how i was late yesterday.....although that does not sound like a big thing, it makes me feel so *BLEEP* and agry and unpet and then i start having a 'silent panic attack' (whatever) and everyone just thinks im a retard.
i dont know if any of that made sence but im to scared to read it over again...cause i dont like to remember what i feel about stuff...cause it usually makes things worse.

what the *BLEEP* can i do to make this stop.
i tried to ring the salvos for help but when they answer the phone and say 'How can i help you' what do you say back?


please help me someone

Check your messages.

ok then,.... if you're mad, then relax or go punch something really hard

if your sad or depresed, then go do something that you like that makes you happy

if those don't work, tell yourself to get over it and move on with life

theres more important things to do than this

Talk to your doctor about depression. I have it aswell and meds can help. YES! I SAID MEDS! I used them temporarily to pull me through a wicked Depression/Rage after my mother died and I used to be dead set against it. However, they helped me, I had clear thinking, Motivation, I became more social again and after a while I didn't need them anymore. Please go see your doctor soon because if you depression is left untreated, you could hurt yourself or someone else. depression is NOT a joke and NEVER fool yourself into thinking you have control over it because you DON'T! Just a heads up from someone who has been where you are right now:) Blessings:)

Okay, so I am clinically bipolar but too stubborn to take any medication for it, but I probably should sometimes...

What you are feeling is totally not normal, I mean, most people are a little sad occasionally, but depression is a lot worse, and it sounds like that's what you're experiencing. My advice is that if you can't sort it out yourself, which it sounds like you can't, is to go see a psychiatrist. Ultimately, the only way you'll probably be able to solve your problems is with the help of a professional, and not going is just going to hurt you more.

I hope you will get better

Councling, my brother in law specializes in child therapy, well not child but more teenager such. Actually, before I even knew my sister was dating the guy (let alone gonna marry him) I went to him, because by law I needed some for certain reasons, and we got talking...really it helps when your depressed just somebody to talk to even would help. Being depressed doesn't always have to be a bad thing, and even if your a guy most guys don't show it, but many guys are depressed a lot. I know for a fact I am, I just get those depressed feelings coming its totally natural.

I have friends and know people that have gone through stages where they were burn off skin, or cut their VEINS just to be anti-depressed. Eventually they got sick of it and the adrenaline wasn't enough of a high so they started beating the *BLEEP* out of each other, and eventually they went in for help. No pill will help you enough to stay anti depressed 100% of the time, but being depressed and knowing its 100% natural does help.

well, my heart goes out. yes, you have a keeper in your b/f. he may not understand fully, but at least he's still there.

you sound like like you are on the verge of of something serious if you don't get help and i mean professional help. it sounds more than just a nervous breakdown. you also gave me the impression that you are worrying to much about everything and everything rushing in at once and as you try to take things in, they don't register. worrying about what others think is a sign of low self esteem but that doesn't even begin to describe what is going on here.

well, i say some professional help. you're not crazy. you realize there's a problem, but you don't know what is making you feel this way. if not professional help, i then highly recomend that you search out some online support groups and find one that deals with what you are going through. also, try yahoo groups as well. they usually have a pretty good selection of everything under the sun and they are quick to access.

my problem in giving advice is this. you said alot in one sense, but said very little on the flip side. there is more to this story i know....like.....before you felt this way, how were you feeling and what was your outlook in life? what were you doing the month when your feelings started changing so dramatically? try to pinpoint the time when the changes were occuring and figure out what was happening then in your life to trigger such changes.

someone mentioned bi polar. it could be that or something else you were born with and that is usually controlled with medication. it may be something you weren't born with such as too much pressures. some people with too much pressures(or feel pressured with expectations) have breakdowns where their whole body will go through drastic changes where it just eventually shuts down.

i don't know what you're going through but you need to diagnose this either yourself or professionally. i recomend professionally through a psychologist first(not psychiatrist). psychiatrists are doctors who can prescribe medication and they like to guess in a diagnosis a lot of the times and throw any medication at ya and use you as a guinea pig. bi polar takes YEARS to diagnose properly because it has many symptoms and phases including similar symptoms to manic depresion when they are at their low....another phase is an extreme high where bi polar people feel they can accomplish anything and everything.

while you try to diagnose what you're going through(sounds like some nervous breakdown due to too many worries or expectations), be open with your boyfriend. he's a keeper. don't shut him out. you will need him for support through this and if you ever think you're doing him a favor by shutting him out just to protect him or not cause him hurt, think again. if he loves you, he would swim a thousand miles for you without question and it would hurt him more if you ever did shut him out unnecesarily.

can you try to explain more in another post? how old are you? and tell us how your life was before this and what you were going through when all these changes occured? i'd appreciate a followup post. i hope you get the help and support you need. if need to talk about anything, pm me. i wish you well!

This post has been edited by anwiii: Nov 21 2007, 07:35 AM

You should try talking to your boyfriend if you are close to him. He may be able to understand and help you through it. I know how you feel though and you just need to be able to talk to someone really. You can also talk to your doctor like someone said before although it can be embarrassing to explain to people why you have to leave certain situations. A lot of people in my school see therapists and the such so if nothing else seems to work don't feel like you can't turn to professional help.