I just had a discussion with my girlfriend, whom i love wit all my heart. It involved somethin dat happen to her a while back. Early in our relationship, she told me somethin she never told no one before. She told me she had been raped. I knew right then and there dat it would be a hard relationship, cuz i seen the aftermath of situations like dat. i got friends who been raped in the past and they aint never gotten over it. 1 committed suicide. the other one i had found out after we had gone out for a while and i paid the man a visit and he messed up real good now. but now dat i look back on it, it only made me feel better, not my friend. But here i am with a similar situation. she had told me almost a year ago and just a few hours ago told me who had done it and when. she told me it was at a halloween party in the 8th grade. her bf at the time who's 3 years older than her spiked her drink. she woke up bruised and in alot of pain. her boyfriend and a friend of his told her dat they had both been involved in the incident the night before. she told me she was also a virgin. when i hurt that i shattered inside and now im feelin full of rage. i know myself well and this is the kinda rage dat led me to do some stupid crap before. i wanna go mess these guys up but they dont live in my state no more. and my girls got probs she wont admit cuz of it. im so mad. i cant stop thinkin bout it and i dunno what to do. i cant talk to her bout it cuz ill get even more upset. im sure some of you know what im feelin. so im askin you, what should i do? what CAN i do?

Sorry friend, but there's nothing you can do about the past. Statute of limitations has probably run out, and the guys were only 15 yrs. old anyway.

What you can do is be there for your friend. Remember that it happened to her, not you. You're not the victim here, and you don't want to constantly remind her of the rape. If she could confront the guy and let him know how much it messed her up, you'd probably find out that the guy is now an adult and would truly regret his mistake. A sincere apology might help her to heal.

Like he said, sorry, there really isnt nothing you can do about the past all you can do is comfort her and dont just tell her that everything will be ok make her feel safe in your arms at all times show her more love then what you do and always show her respect and no matter what she is always right even if she is wrong just remmber that

yup I'll have to agree with Mikey, you cannot do anything about the past. It's a long time ago anyway and you and your girlfriend have to get over it. Well it might be harder for her because it happened to her and not you, but time can heal anything that happened in the past. And the only thing you can do now is stop reminding her about this painful incident and be there for her whenever she needs you. Let her feel safe with you because such an incident leaves the person in great fear and anxiety because I know a girl who has been through the same thing and now she has a very low self esteem and always afraid. So try to boost her confidence in herself and show her some affection and care. But in order to do that, you HAVE TO get over it yourself and stop thinking about it and blaming yourself for not being able to screw the guys that did it to your girlfriend, it's all in the past now and you shouldn't blame yourself or her for what happened.