Today, I've really had it with my friend.

He is my roomate, and were under a lease, a years lease. I seriously had it with him.

What happened was.

Me (Cindy), my friend Anne, and her Anne's boyfriend Benn, and another friend I knew from high school named David moved in together in a two bedroom apartment. First thing I did was have everyone sign a contract with rules of the house, in order to respect eachother's well being. I had them view this contract BEFORE we all moved in with eachother. They agreed to it and signed it.

The rules were this: ( Some are silly but, it's respect torwards eachother as civil beings)
No doing drugs or getting drunk in the house.
No walking around in your boxers or underware.
No parties or loud music.
No inviting friends over unless you let everyone else know and everyone is ok with it.
Everyone takes turns throwing their trash every week.
No eating eachothers food unless asked.
No touching or using your other roomates stuff unless asked.

Well, everything was fine, until David started to act very odd.

David is a friend I used to know in high school for 2 years, he was a quiet kid, very polite, very nice, would not be the type to ever start an argument. He was very meek. Very, very, shy. He was a chubby kid. ( nothing wrong with that but that's what he used to look like)

We all moved in together. And after 2 years problems started to happen. David the first year was very polite, very considerate, but I noticed after the second year we all lived together, Anne's boyfriend, Benn was starting to give complaints to me, and saying that David is being odd, such as knocking obssessly on their door and coming into their room sometimes just to talk to Anne. I thought , Benn was simply getting jelous. I talked to David and David would say to me that Benn would always talk down to him, and was not friendly torwards him. I tried talking to Benn and David, and had them talk to eachother about the problem in order to find a solution, David would say that Benn was lying about the "him knocking on the door alot to talk to Anne" David would say he didn't like her at all. Benn throught David did like her. Anne would tell me " He is constantly following me when Benn is not around and he will knock on the door alot in order to talk to me, I don't mean to sound conceided but, I know he likes me even though he says he doesn't, he is stalking me in the house or where I go". Anne, and Benn noticed a change in his behavior. They wanted to move out. I asked them why, they said " because he stopped taking his medication, he says that it makes him feel sick so he doesn't take it anymore."

David does take medications, he takes medication for Terets, A.D.D, and Depression.

I thought she was over exagerating, I told them I did not want them to leave, I kept insisting them to stay, but they refused,....... I let them go ( they could not leave unless they found a replacement person, according to the lease) , and they found me... a new roomate named, Adrianna. After that incident. So now it was, Me, Adrianna and David. And I asked David if he did stop taking his medication, he confirmed it and said he did stop, I told him as nicely as possible to get back on it, and it's good for him. He refused, he kept saying that doctors are only trying to pack him with medication he did not need, so I left it at that. And yes, I noticed the excessive knocking in my door shortly after, I would awnser the door and ask him what he wanted, and he would just want to "hang out" and "spend time" I told him bluntly that I do not have time for that, and to stop knocking at my door only to ask me the same questions over and over. On several ocassions he asked me that he wanted me to be his "girlfriend" I told him it would never happen, I told him to look elsewhere, I am only his friend. But no, every month he kept asking, and asking, to the point I had to rudely tell him it would never happen. He would tell me that I am immature, and that I will one day give in. He would then, follow me everywhere I went, if I went to the store, he would drive to the store, if I went to my parents house, he would drive his car and park it around my house, until I left. Adrianna noticed this, and she was scared of him.

I kept telling david to stop following me and stop trying to "spend time with me". That I have no time for "boyfriends". He grew very angry, to the point he would come into the house, blast out music, to where neighbours would come to the door and tell him to turn it down, he would only turn it down for the neighbours when ever they'd complain, and he would drink in the house and bring tons of "guy friends" to the house. To where me and Adrianna were scared of him and lock eachother in our rooms. And when ever Adrianna and me would come out of our rooms he would sit there and talk about how drunk he was and how he smashed his other friend's car window and boast about how he ejaculated his body fluids into Anne's and Benn's milk because he didn't like them. I did not know about this but I was so shocked when he said that. And Yes, he did go to court about the whole, "smashing his friends car window in order to get back at him" thing but, he simply paid the fine, and it really did not phase him. He could of cared less he would say. There would be numerous times where the kitchen would be full of beer bottles, food and mess, that he made with his friends, that I refused to clean up because that is his mess. Magots started to grow on the food he would leave out. To where me and Adrianna eventually I would have to clean it.
One time I caught him in my room going through my drawer in my room where my undergarmets were at. I could not believe it, he tried to lie and say he thought he smelt fire in my room. After that insident I installed a door knob lock in my room and Adrianna's room.

Another time Adrianna caught him crawling on the floor at night with the lights off, when she was going to get a snack. And Addrianna hates the fact that he always walks around the house in his boxers, sometimes it falls out if you know what I mean, we've told him time and time again to put pants, he sometimes does, but other times he just refuses too.

I tried to have another talk with him and told him why he was doing all of this, and he said it was because of the "voices, tell him to do it, and that he hears the earth cry" and then would ask me for "forgiveness". Once I forgave him he stopped with his bad doings, and he started to act odd again within a month. It's like he tried to be good for a while and then just acts insane, almost like spurts of emotion. No matter what he refuses to take his medications.

He started to do bad things, and started to hang out with the wrong crowd after he stopped taking his medications. He would also talk about suicide.

I've really had it, he stalks me, he toys with my head by telling me one thing but does another, he wants me to feel sorry for him by telling me he will kill himself, I seriously don't know why he stopped taking his medication. I don't know what to do, I WANT to move out, me and adrianna do, but the lease, is what keeps us here, also in order for me and addriana to leave, we would have to find him replacement people for the house, and HE has to sign the approval, meaning if he does not want us to leave, he will not sign for me to leave. I can only leave until the contract ends.

I seriously, fear for my life, and I fear him, I am sure adrianna does too, but what can we do, I KNOW he will not sign the lease, to let us go. Nor will he want replacement people. I have to wait until a year is over. Thats a long time.

What can I do? Any suggestions? Any way I can improve my suituation?

This post has been edited by lady_cindy: Sep 27 2006, 11:26 PM

How old is David? Can you contact his parents about this Medication thing? He really should be taking his dosages.

Im not sure, but there is a legal document behind all this. So since it is legal im sure you could talk it over with the police or make him leave. The situation that your in is very drastic even call his parents, im sure they could talk some sense into him. My mother always said, "do whats best for them, parents know best." And in essence she is absolutely true. I mean, im sure that there was some point where he never took these before the event. His parents have kept him alive this far, how couldnt they now.

I am, 21. Adrianna is 21. David is 20. He will turn 21, in September 19. Thank you for your sudgestions. Talking to his parents again, yes, I have thought about that. But this is a very touchy subject, this would be alot to break on a parent, after a while parents tend to not believe bad things they are hearing about their kids. David does not get along with his mother, he absolutely hates her. His parents are divorsed. And his father really was the one taking care of him. I've actually been at his father's house before. He is such a nice caring father.

But I don't really want to overwhelm his father, although I have talked to his father before about some of his behaviour. One occasion which was, David left for 5 days, and I didn't know why and I was worried, so I called his father ....this was the first time ever that I had spoke to him about his son's behavior. His father said he'd give him a call after he talked to david ( his father called davids cell phone). And when his father called him, he believed David when david said " I just wanted to stay at my friends house for a while." His father called us back saying "it's ok for david to spend the night at someone else's house but I talked to him about making you worry like that, it's not right to make people worry".

But what David told his father was not true, David had sent me an email, ( At that time I assumed he was at a friends house), and the email stated that he left because.. he had found out I had a boyfriend and that he wanted to kill himself. I did not respond to his email or called him. He eventually came back home asking why I had not emailed him back or called him...and said he was sorry for being upset at me and asked for my "forgiveness" and would not stop asking me for "forgiveness" until I forgave him, if I did not forgave him it ment him knocking at my door alot. But of course that did not stop David from acting the way he always does.

So david will lie to his father in order to seem less upset than he really is. It's like he is a complete different person around his father he tries to be very good around his father.....and around me and Adrianna he's just so different.

His father is also the one who paid the damages for his court case of david damaging his friend's car. And told him not to do things like that again. His father knows about him not taking his medication, but his father thinks that his son is okay without it. David's father trusts david.

So if I call his father, and tell him all the things David has been doing. I dout he'll believe me, the simple fact that david acts proper around his father. His father will probably think I am over exagerating. I am honestly not.

I am seriously thinking of taking the sudguestion about calling the police and his father again. But how would I even start to even explain this....or better yet show proof that there is something wrong with him??? I really, would like him out of my life. I am way to stressed living with him.

Any more advice??

This post has been edited by lady_cindy: Sep 7 2006, 05:18 AM

Well you had him sign a contract before he moved in and he has violated a bunch of the rules right? If so, you have the right it kick him out of the house and find another roommate. If you are that scared of him i would suggest kick him out and just pay a bit more rather than wait to find another rooommate. If he says you cant kick him out take it to court and photograph / get your roommate to speak out about the rules he agreed to and signed against and take him to court. Good luck and i hope goes well.

i am more concerned about you and your housemate adriana. david's behaviour is not really comforting to hear, and could lead to a more dangerous situation if you and adriana do not take steps to prevent it. who knows what's brewing in his whacked brains at any given time. and it seems that his condition is worsened by his refusal to return to his medications. and he surely needs some serious psychological help as well, apart from medications.

i'd suggest you set up an intervention of sorts for david -- with anne, benn, adriana and you present to give him the rundown on your collective complaints and concerns (even if anne & benn do not live with you anymore, it is better to have them to back you up -- just in case david turns "ugly". there's strength in numbers.) discuss with him the list of things you and adrianna find disturbing in his actions and behavior, and that you want him to cease from doing them again. hopefully he listens and agrees to reform his ways so you can all live peacefully.

otherwise, tell him that there is no other recourse but for him to leave, OR that you and adriana would leave. remind him that the contract you all signed for being housemates have been totally disregarded by him for so long that he needs to comply to it before he can enforce the same right on you and adriana in case you two decide to leave the apartment. you can also tell him the emotional toil that his actions have been doing to you and adriana, and that even though you are all friends, there could only be a limit to what you two, his roommates, can tolerate for so long. and if that you both feel that he is in someway endangering your and adriana's life with his idiosyncracies, it is better that he stays alone and you two leave with or without his consent.

and lastly, tell him that it is within your immediate plans to inform his family/father of this situation concerning living with him... and that you're simply delaying the matter until the time you all have discussed ways he can reform before you and adriana lose your wits as well living with him.

the above advice is only if you and adriana are still willing to make him make his amends to you both. otherwise, it will be more fruitful to directly bring it up with his father with no delay. and if it comes to having supporting claims to back you up, there will always be anne, benn and adriana who could attest to your side of the story -- even if david denies it all to his father. that dude really needs serious help, and if his father is blinded by his filial doting for his son, then there is nothing more you can do but leave the place before anything bad happens to you and adriana. let him take it up to the police if he wants to invoke the contract and insists on not letting you both go. the law will not be on his side if his behavior is leading to the endangerment of his roommates lives (ie, yours and adriana's).

Well David does seem like the kind of obsessive guy, I dont think he means harm but is obviously causing it. Like the others said about contacting parents, thats a good thing. The medication shoudl be taken, that is probably why he was quiet and shy before. The clingy part may just be from being around you guys for too long =/ ... Maybe he jsut got attached. Not sure what to tell you but, good luck

This guy is a freak, I swear I think he's kind of mad. Tell someone that he is breaking the rules or just wait until you are allowed to move out, trust me time can fly right past you and DO NOT try to handle this guy and DO NOT ever do something for his vbenefit like going oout with him...trust me i've been in a situation somewhat similar to yours and this guy will never change and that thing about the "earth crying" and all the "voices" is freaky and it makes im sound demented.
Good Luck