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> Man's Sirname Dominates After Marriage?
OpaQue
post Dec 6 2004, 01:02 PM
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Dont you people think that it is kinda unfair that the MAN's SIRNAME dominates after marriage ? I hope, I am making my point clear. But its sometime feels so un-fair.

Ahem.. even though I am a guy there is should be problem with me, but still this is what I felt.. I usually think of various random things ( usually when chatting with a close friend ).

Just post your thoughts about it ..

Do you think it is fair ?
Why do you think this system has arised that in every part of the world , under every civilization, this is been happening ?
Do you think that this proves that men is superiour or something ?
Post any possible solutions or what would you prefer ... wink.gif
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BioToXiC
post Dec 6 2004, 01:30 PM
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After taking the time to think about it, i decided that I agree with you. It is unfair and being a guy myself I find that I don't really have a problem with it. Its basically this:

You have children. What will their last names be if both the parents have different last names?

And also, women can choose if they want to have the mans last name take over theirs. Most women agree to it, just to keep the tradition alive.

Yes, Oapque, you are correct in addressing this. I agree with you, but I also know why they do. It's unfair, yet just. If you understand what Im saying, good job.

me = divided? LoL.
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Togi
post Jan 10 2006, 06:55 PM
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..heh.. I remember when I was 6 or so, my dad remarried, and of course, my new stepmom took his/our name. At the time, it seemed pretty offensive to me, and I was quite sure that if I ever got married, I'd keep my own name, or make my husband change his.. it just didn't seem fair.

But now, somehow the idea seems kind of.. exciting. I actually wouldnt mind it at all. ^^
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brainless
post Jan 10 2006, 08:26 PM
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actually there are cultures in which the woman's surname becomes the family name, not the man's wink.gif

AFAIK this has something to do with the fact that the man dealt with external issues [i.e. with matters not concerning the household] while the woman was responsible of keeping the house running [don't underestimate this job!]; until somewhat recent times, historically seen (as you might know, even in democracies women were not always allowed to vote ... in Germany, for example, women gained the right to vote in 1918; in some other european countries even later ... even though there aren't many people left challenging this right, it is a very new feature - even in ancient Greece, where the first documentated democracies were established, women did not participate in society [though they did meet with other women ... but they usually did not have more influence than what they could make their husband think])...
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beeseven
post Jan 11 2006, 12:23 AM
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It's something about the Catholic and/or Christian church, and how they tried to downplay the role of women in society. It's just another thing that they did to try to make men the dominant gender. In some cultures (like Hispanic), the children take both parents names', but I don't remember the order of the parents' names or which of the mom's last names is used.
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xaetos
post Jan 11 2006, 01:18 AM
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Its just the remains of the times when men were dominant over women. If you look back, men were always thought to be superior, no matter how offensive that view seems now. People evolve, things come out of it, and some of them stick even after the original thoughts are long gone in the majority of society.

Personally, it doesn't bother me. For one thing, no one forces you to take the new name. If you want to keep your last name, well, go ahead and do it. No one's stopping you. It'd be a different issue if it were a forced thing.. For another thing, I don't really like my last name. I'll be more than happy when I can get a new one form my husband, whoever that might be.

I'm glad the choice is there, but I'm not complaining that it's the traditional view to do as most people do. I understand why it came to be that way, even if only slightly, and I understand that the views of women have changed quite a lot in the past while. I'm happy with all that, and given that I don't even like my last name, I've got no problem in going with the traditional way on this one, and getting a different last name smile.gif
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Ao)K-General
post Jan 11 2006, 02:20 AM
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I agree that is unfair even though I am a guy. But women are always excluded from things. Or always were. Why is this? They couldn't vote, they had to wear veils to cover there faces, they would be put up for adoption because most of the people wanted guys(I think it was the girls), they aren't allowed to leave their houses without a guy with them, they would always be stuck home doing house work. And I think there still might be things they can't do that guys can because of the government.
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midnightvamp
post Jan 11 2006, 02:52 AM
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I know, things like that seem unfair, as do many of the other things that I've read people saying in this thread. But, whenever I think about how things were not that long ago, and see how far we've progressed, I'm really happy about it.

I don't know if I want to take on all the traditionally 'guy' roles. Mind you, the vision of a perfect girl isn't me either. I'd like to stay at home, but work from here, online and make a career that way. If I had kids, I'd love to be able to look after them from here, and keep my job all the while.

And I've always said for as long as I remember, that when I have kids, I'm going to make sure that they have my last name. And I'm not going for that hyphenated stuff either. Especially since my last name is already 10 letters long as it is.

I have my reasons for wanting to keep my last name. It seems that we are a dying breed, my family. I only have one sister, and two female cousins on the side of the family that shares my name. It's all girls, and I'd like to think that it doesn't end here.

I always wanted to adopt, so, I suppose that I could adopt a girl and a boy. That way, there would be at least one person to carry on the name. I always wanted a son that was a little older than his sister, so he could look out for her and all that sort of stuff. Not that I could know that it would happen, because kids are unpredicatable, but it would be nice if it could.

So, for names having to go to the husband, it's nice that it isn't a law, because I wouldn't want to be forced into giving away my last name. I feel that the name is me. It's who I've been my entire life, and it's a defining thing. If a guy doesn't have to give up a name, why should a girl?

But who knows... maybe I'll meet someone that I really like, decide to get married and forget my whole idea and end up with a new last name. You never know. It could happen.
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Peaktao
post Jan 14 2006, 06:06 PM
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Now the law in my country allow women to keep their surnames after marriages.
Also they can just put their surnames together .....e.g.

Brad Pitt
Angelina Jolie

= Angelina Pitt Jolie

or something like that. biggrin.gif